A Great and Terrible Beauty
Page 82

"I wouldn't be," Ann says bitterly.
"I could ease Father's pain." I glance at Mother. Her eyes narrow. "No," she says, unraveling a Jacob's ladder.
"Why not?" My cheeks are hot.
"We'd be careful," Pippa adds.
"Yes, terribly careful," Felicity chimes in, trying to charm Mother as if she were one of our impressionable teachers.
Mother crushes the yarn in her fist. Her eyes flash. "Tapping into this power is not a game. It is hard work. It takes preparation, not the wild curiosity of overeager schoolgirls."
Felicity is taken aback. I bristle at this comment, at being chided in front of my friends." We are not overeager."
Mother places a palm on my arm, gives me a faint smile, and I feel churlish for having acted like such a child. "When it is time."
Pippa peers carefully at the base of a rune. "What are these markings?"
"It's an ancient language, older than Greek and Latin."
"But what does it say?" Ann wants to know.
" 'I change the world; the world changes me.'"
Pippa shakes her head. "What does that mean?"
"Everything you do comes back to you. When you affect a situation, you are also affected."
"M'lady!" The knight has returned. He's brought out a lute. Soon, he's serenading Pippa with a song about her beauty and virtue.
"Isn't he perfection? I think I shall die from happiness. I want to dancecome with me!" Pippa pulls Ann after her toward the dashing knight, forgetting all about the runes.
Felicity brushes herself off and trails behind them. "Are you coming?"
"I'll be there in a moment," I call after her.
Mother resumes her meticulous yarn architecture. Her fingers fly, then stop. She closes her eyes and gasps, as if she's been wounded.
"Mother, what's the matter? Are you all right? Mother!"
When she opens her eyes, she's breathing hard. "It takes so much to keep it away."
"Keep what away?"
"The creature. It's still looking for us." The dirty-faced girl peers out from behind a tree. She looks at my mother with wide eyes. Mothers face softens. Her breathing returns to normal. She's the commanding presence I remember bustling about our house, giving orders and changing place settings at the very last moment. "There is nothing to worry about. I can fool the beast for a while."
Felicity calls to me. "Gemma, you're missing out on all the sport." She and the others are twirling each other about, dancing to the lute and the song.
Mother starts to build a cup and saucer from her yarn.
Her hands tremble." Why don't you join them? I should like to see you dance. Go on, then, darling."
Reluctantly, I amble toward my friends. Along the way, I spy the girl, still looking at my mother with her frightened eyes. There's something compelling about the child. Something I feel I should know, though I can't say what.
"It's time to dance!" Felicity takes both my hands in hers, twirling me around. Mother applauds us in our jig. The knight strums the lute faster and faster, egging us on. We're picking up speed, our hair flying, hands tight on each other's wrists.
"Whatever you do, don't let go!" Felicity shrieks, as our bodies lean back in defianc? of gravity till we're nothing more than a great blur of color on the landscape.
The sky is a softer shade of night by the time we return to our rooms. Dawn is mere hours away. Tomorrow we'll have the devil to pay.
"Your mother is lovely," Ann says as she slips under her covers.
"Thank you," I whisper, running a brush through my hair. The dancingand the subsequent fall in the grasshas left it tangled beyond hope, like my thoughts.
"I don't remember my mother at all. Do you think that's terrible?"
"No," I say.
Ann is nearly asleep, her words a low mumble. "I wonder if she remembers me"
I start to answer but I don't know what to say to that. And anyway, it doesn't matter. She's snoring already. I give up on the brushing and slide under my own blankets, only to feel something crackle beneath me. I feel around with my hand and discover a note hidden in the covers. I have to take it to the window to read it.
Miss Doyle,
You are playing a very dangerous game. If you do not stop now, I shall be forced to take action. I am asking you to stop while you can.
There's another word scribbled hastily, then crossed out. Please.
He hasn't signed his name, but I know this is Kartik's work. I tear the note into tiny pieces. Then I open the window and let the breeze take it.