A Great and Terrible Beauty
Page 92

The lightning's back, a big one, two, three of light that lets me see Felicity's face, slick with tears, nose running. "They were misled. Betrayed by their own stupid hopes. Things couldn't be different for them, because they weren't special after all. So life took them, led them, and they went along, you see? They faded before their own eyes, till they were nothing more than living ghosts, haunting each other with what could be. What can't be." Felicity's voice goes feathery thin. "There, now. Isn't that the scariest story you've ever heard?"
The rain beats down relentlessly mixing with the strangled sounds of Felicity's sobbing. Ann has stopped torturing her hands. Now she stares through the flame at cave walls that show her history promise nothing. Pippa twirls her engagement ring round her finger till I fear she'll break it off.
Maybe it's the steady downpour driving me mad. Maybe it's the thought of lovely Pippa, married off to a man she doesn't love, who doesn't love her, only wants to acquire her. Maybe it's imagining Ann squelching her voice to work for pompous aristocrats and their hateful children. Or Felicity trying to hold back her tears. Maybe it's that every word she's said is true.
Whatever the reason, I'm thinking now of a way out, of bringing the magic back from the realms. I'm thinking of those mothers today in their ornate dresses and their vacant lives. And I'm thinking of my mother's warning that I'm not ready to use my full powers yet.
Oh, but I am, Mother. I am.
Outside, there's a fresh wave of thunder rumbling a warning, a prayer. All around me in the semidarkness are the symbols etched into rock with the sweat and blood of women who've gone before us. Their whispers urge me on in a single word.
Believe.
I can see the glint off Pippa's unwanted ring. Hear the labored struggle of Ann's mouth- breathing. Feel the desperation meeting the silence with its unasked wish.
There's got to be something better than this.
My voice rises to the unseen top of the cave, a bird taking flight.
"There is a way to change things"
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
"Are you sure you know how to use these runes?"
Ann asks as we place the candles in the center of our circle.
"Of course she does! Stop trying to frighten her," Pippa snaps. "You do know, don't you?"
"No. But Mary and Sarah did it. It can't be that difficult. Mother said I simply place my hands against the runes and and then" Then what? The magic enters me. It's precious little to go on.
Felicity is beside me. She's stopped crying.
"We'll just try it and see. That's all. Just a trial run," I say, as if to convince myself.
We enter the realms through our door of light and make our way to the grotto as quickly as possible. The runes rise before us, tall and imposing. They're guards protecting the sky's secrets.
"I didn't see anyone," Felicity pants.
"Then I don't think anyone saw us," Pippa says.
Promise me you won't take the magic out of the realms, Gemma ....
I've promised her. And yet I can't abandon my friends to these empty lives.
It's been such a long time since the magic here has been used. There's no telling what could happen.
That doesn't mean something terrible will happen. Perhaps Mother is worrying about nothing. We'll be so very careful. Nothing will find its way in.
The huntress appears. "What are you doing?"
Pippa yelps in surprise.
"Nothing," I say, too quickly.
She's silent, watching us. "Will you hunt today?" she asks Felicity at last.
"Not today. Tomorrow," Felicity answers.
"Tomorrow," the huntress repeats. She turns and walks toward the silver arch, glancing back once with a curious expression. And then she's gone.
"That was a close call," Ann says, letting her breath out.
"Yes. I think we'd best act quickly," I say. "What do you think will happen to us?" Pippa's voice is filled with apprehension.
"There's only one way to find out," I say, moving closer to the runes. I can feel their energy calling me. I'll touch them only for a second or two, no more. What can possibly happen in an instant?
The girls place their hands on me. We're connected, like some newfangled apparatus that gives off electric light. Slowly, I place my palms against the warm strength of the crystalline shapes. They hum against my skin. The hum bends into a shudder. It's more powerful than I could have dreamed. They glow, faintly at first, then more strongly, the light spreading quickly into a swirling pillar that spins out, around and through me. I can sense my friends within methe quick pulse of blood in their veins. The rhythm of our hearts beating in unison, like the thundering of horses trampling across winter-bleached fields, hope thumping freedom inside us. A locomotive scream of thoughts flies by. Different voices, different languages overlap, merging into one flickering murmur. It's too fast. I can't absorb it. It could break me. I need to tear away but I can't.