A Second Chance
Page 28
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He undressed and slipped on his pajama bottoms. He climbed into bed and waited.
When she opened the door and stepped out, he saw it in her eyes. If he got any sleep he’d be lucky.
She didn’t say a word, which was worse. She crawled into bed, turned off the lights, and pulled the covers up high.
Carlos lay sill in the silence of the room. She wasn’t going to yell at him? She wasn’t going to throw shoes? Maddie would at least have thrown her shoes at him. He smiled at the thought. Three black eyes, he remembered. Three. Maddie was a shoe thrower, and if you tried to intercept it, you’d get hit in the eye, because her aim sucked. It had taken him three times to learn it was always a better idea to stand still, you wouldn’t get hit.
He rolled to his side and scooted closer to Kathy, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the head.
She snapped back the sheets and stood up. She glared down at Carlos as she turned on the light.
“Don’t you get that close to me.” She pulled the pillow from the bed, grabbed a quilt from the quilt rack, and bolted for the door. “I’ll sleep on the damn couch.”
“Kathy, wait.” He scrambled from the sheets, threw his feet over the side of the bed, and nearly tripped as he hurried to her.
“Wait? Wait?” She dropped the pillow and quilt and stomped back toward the bed. “That’s all I do is wait. I wait for you to call. I wait for you to come home. I’ll be waiting for your Goddamned hair to be coming back in before we do the Goddamned pictures I had scheduled.”
Carlos dropped his head. He’d forgotten about the pictures.
“Kathy, I’m sorry about the pictures. I forgot.”
“You seem to forget a lot of things when it comes to me. At dinner the other night, I could have sworn you all forgot I was in the room.”
He dropped his shoulders. “What does that mean?”
“It means you were all so damn concerned about her and so into watching her hold Tyler that you didn’t even consider that I was there. You never took your eyes off of her.” She tensed her arms as though looking for strength to keep going. And she did. “It was a reunion, and no one gave any thought to how I felt sitting there having you all talk about when you and Madeline were married. What Ed looked like when you brought him home. How young she was when she had him.”
“Kathy…”
“You know we haven’t even talked about having kids. You’ve never mentioned it.”
“I have kids.”
“But I don’t. I’m thirty. I planned that when I got married to the man I loved, I would have kids.”
“Then we’ll talk about it. I just don’t remember you ever mentioning it before tonight.”
“You can’t seem to remember a lot of things,” she said again, as if the fight was starting all over. “You can’t seem to remember that you asked me to marry you and we’re planning a wedding. You don’t care about colors, location, guests.” She sucked in a breath. “I’m surprised when you can remember to drive to work in the morning.”
“C’mon.” He stood and walked toward her. “Listen, I’m sorry that I haven’t been as attentive to you as I should be. I do remember that I asked you to marry me, and I wouldn’t have if I didn’t love you. And I said I was sorry about our hair and ruining your pictures. It’ll grow back quickly.”
“You look stupid.”
“Really? I thought it wasn’t too bad.”
“Don’t you joke with me. This isn’t a joke!” She reached for the pillow again and Carlos stopped her, placing his hands on her arms.
“I know it’s not a joke. We did it to support her. She was really upset about losing her hair.”
“Damnit! That’s all you do is support her! How about supporting me!”
“I do support you. I love you.”
Her chest heaved with the breaths that came quickly as her anger rose. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
Kathy lifted her head and pushed back her shoulders. Her eyes had grown dark and she seared him with their glare. “Then stop seeing Madeline.”
It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room.
“I can’t stop seeing her,” he said, shaking his head.
“Why?”
“I have to see her. We share the kids.”
Her lips tightened and she shook her head. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I don’t want you going by there everyday. I don’t want you taking her to the doctor or taking her things from the drugstore. You don’t need to be there.”
“She needs me.”
“She had her chance with you. You’re mine now.”
His jaw tensed. “Kathy, you’re being petty.”
Her eyes flew open and she pushed against his chest. “Petty? Petty?” She spun from him, dragging her fingers through her long, blonde hair. “I think I’m being pretty fair!”
He was never good at this part of the relationship. When a woman was in his face, he needed to recollect himself before he lost everything that was dear to him.
“You’re right.” He moved toward her again. “You’ve been nothing but kind and compassionate. I’m sorry.”
“Then you’ll stop seeing her?”
It squeezed at his heart. How could he possibly promise her that? “I need to support her.”
“The kids support her. You don’t need to be there all the time. Why the hell do you care so much?”
“She’s my wife.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth he’d wished he’d never spoken. He wished he’d just let her go to sleep and he’d never touched her.
Her hand came across his face.
“Bastard!”
“Kathy, I’m so sorry.” The sting of the slap made his eyes water. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did! You can’t seem to get it through that thick, stupid head of yours. You divorced her! You asked me to marry you!”
Tears were streaming down her face. He wanted to gather her up and hold her tight. How could he have been so stupid?
“Kathy, I’m sorry.”
“Are you having an affair with her?”
When she opened the door and stepped out, he saw it in her eyes. If he got any sleep he’d be lucky.
She didn’t say a word, which was worse. She crawled into bed, turned off the lights, and pulled the covers up high.
Carlos lay sill in the silence of the room. She wasn’t going to yell at him? She wasn’t going to throw shoes? Maddie would at least have thrown her shoes at him. He smiled at the thought. Three black eyes, he remembered. Three. Maddie was a shoe thrower, and if you tried to intercept it, you’d get hit in the eye, because her aim sucked. It had taken him three times to learn it was always a better idea to stand still, you wouldn’t get hit.
He rolled to his side and scooted closer to Kathy, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the head.
She snapped back the sheets and stood up. She glared down at Carlos as she turned on the light.
“Don’t you get that close to me.” She pulled the pillow from the bed, grabbed a quilt from the quilt rack, and bolted for the door. “I’ll sleep on the damn couch.”
“Kathy, wait.” He scrambled from the sheets, threw his feet over the side of the bed, and nearly tripped as he hurried to her.
“Wait? Wait?” She dropped the pillow and quilt and stomped back toward the bed. “That’s all I do is wait. I wait for you to call. I wait for you to come home. I’ll be waiting for your Goddamned hair to be coming back in before we do the Goddamned pictures I had scheduled.”
Carlos dropped his head. He’d forgotten about the pictures.
“Kathy, I’m sorry about the pictures. I forgot.”
“You seem to forget a lot of things when it comes to me. At dinner the other night, I could have sworn you all forgot I was in the room.”
He dropped his shoulders. “What does that mean?”
“It means you were all so damn concerned about her and so into watching her hold Tyler that you didn’t even consider that I was there. You never took your eyes off of her.” She tensed her arms as though looking for strength to keep going. And she did. “It was a reunion, and no one gave any thought to how I felt sitting there having you all talk about when you and Madeline were married. What Ed looked like when you brought him home. How young she was when she had him.”
“Kathy…”
“You know we haven’t even talked about having kids. You’ve never mentioned it.”
“I have kids.”
“But I don’t. I’m thirty. I planned that when I got married to the man I loved, I would have kids.”
“Then we’ll talk about it. I just don’t remember you ever mentioning it before tonight.”
“You can’t seem to remember a lot of things,” she said again, as if the fight was starting all over. “You can’t seem to remember that you asked me to marry you and we’re planning a wedding. You don’t care about colors, location, guests.” She sucked in a breath. “I’m surprised when you can remember to drive to work in the morning.”
“C’mon.” He stood and walked toward her. “Listen, I’m sorry that I haven’t been as attentive to you as I should be. I do remember that I asked you to marry me, and I wouldn’t have if I didn’t love you. And I said I was sorry about our hair and ruining your pictures. It’ll grow back quickly.”
“You look stupid.”
“Really? I thought it wasn’t too bad.”
“Don’t you joke with me. This isn’t a joke!” She reached for the pillow again and Carlos stopped her, placing his hands on her arms.
“I know it’s not a joke. We did it to support her. She was really upset about losing her hair.”
“Damnit! That’s all you do is support her! How about supporting me!”
“I do support you. I love you.”
Her chest heaved with the breaths that came quickly as her anger rose. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
Kathy lifted her head and pushed back her shoulders. Her eyes had grown dark and she seared him with their glare. “Then stop seeing Madeline.”
It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room.
“I can’t stop seeing her,” he said, shaking his head.
“Why?”
“I have to see her. We share the kids.”
Her lips tightened and she shook her head. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I don’t want you going by there everyday. I don’t want you taking her to the doctor or taking her things from the drugstore. You don’t need to be there.”
“She needs me.”
“She had her chance with you. You’re mine now.”
His jaw tensed. “Kathy, you’re being petty.”
Her eyes flew open and she pushed against his chest. “Petty? Petty?” She spun from him, dragging her fingers through her long, blonde hair. “I think I’m being pretty fair!”
He was never good at this part of the relationship. When a woman was in his face, he needed to recollect himself before he lost everything that was dear to him.
“You’re right.” He moved toward her again. “You’ve been nothing but kind and compassionate. I’m sorry.”
“Then you’ll stop seeing her?”
It squeezed at his heart. How could he possibly promise her that? “I need to support her.”
“The kids support her. You don’t need to be there all the time. Why the hell do you care so much?”
“She’s my wife.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth he’d wished he’d never spoken. He wished he’d just let her go to sleep and he’d never touched her.
Her hand came across his face.
“Bastard!”
“Kathy, I’m so sorry.” The sting of the slap made his eyes water. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did! You can’t seem to get it through that thick, stupid head of yours. You divorced her! You asked me to marry you!”
Tears were streaming down her face. He wanted to gather her up and hold her tight. How could he have been so stupid?
“Kathy, I’m sorry.”
“Are you having an affair with her?”