I was almost ill with nerves the next day, and Lily was worse. We picked at our breakfast, and I let Lily smoke in the flat, and was almost tempted to ask for a cigarette myself. We watched a film and did some chores badly, and by seven thirty that evening, when Sam arrived, my head was buzzing so much I could barely speak.
‘Did you send the address?’ I asked him.
‘Yup.’
‘Show me.’
The phone message was simply the address of my flat and signed L.
He had responded: I have a meeting in town and I’ll be there shortly after eight.
‘You okay?’ he said.
My stomach tightened. I felt as if I could hardly breathe. ‘I don’t want to get you into trouble. I mean – what if you get found out? You’ll lose your job.’
Sam shook his head. ‘Won’t happen.’
‘I shouldn’t have pulled you into this mess. You’ve been so brilliant and I feel like I’m repaying you by putting you at risk.’
‘We’ll all be fine. Keep breathing.’ He smiled reassuringly at me, but I thought I could detect a faint strain around his eyes.
He glanced over my shoulder and I turned. Lily was wearing a black T-shirt, denim shorts and black tights, and she had done her make-up so that she looked simultaneously very beautiful and very young. ‘You all right, sweetheart?’
She nodded. Her skin, normally the slightly olive colour Will’s had been, was unusually pale. Her eyes were huge in her face.
‘It’s all going to be fine, I’d be surprised if it takes longer than five minutes. Lou’s been through it all with you, yes?’ Sam’s voice was calm, reassuring.
We had rehearsed it a dozen times. I wanted her to reach a point where she wouldn’t freeze, where she could repeat her lines without thinking.
‘I know what I’m doing.’
‘Right,’ he said, and clapped his hands together. ‘Quarter to eight. Let’s get ready.’
He was punctual, I had to give him that. At one minute past eight my buzzer rang. Lily took an audible breath, I squeezed her hand, and then she answered the entry-phone. Yes. Yes, she’s gone. Come up. It didn’t seem to occur to him that she might not be what he thought.
Lily let him in. Only I, watching through the crack in my bedroom door, could see the way her hand trembled as she reached for the lock. Garside ran his hand over his hair, glanced briefly around the hallway. He was wearing a good grey suit, and tucked his car keys into his inside breast pocket. I couldn’t stop staring at him, at his expensive shirt, his beady, acquisitive eyes as they scanned the flat. My jaw tightened. What kind of man felt entitled to press himself on a girl forty years younger than he was? To blackmail the child of his own colleague?
He looked uncomfortable, far from relaxed. ‘I’ve parked my car out the back. Will it be safe?’
‘I think so.’ Lily swallowed.
‘You think so?’ He took a step back towards the door. The kind of man who sees his car as an extension of some minuscule part of himself. ‘And what about your friend? Whoever owns this place. They’re not coming back?’
I held my breath. Behind me I felt Sam’s steadying hand on the small of my back.
‘Oh. No. It will be fine.’ She smiled, suddenly reassuring. ‘She won’t be back for ages. Do come in. Would you like a drink, Mr Garside?’
He looked at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. ‘So formal.’ He took a step forward and finally closed the door behind him. ‘Do you have Scotch?’
‘I’ll check. Come through.’
She began to walk to the kitchen, him following, removing his suit jacket. As they entered the living room, Sam walked past me out of the bedroom, strode across the hallway in his heavy boots and locked the inside door to the flat, placing the keys, jangling, in his pocket.
Garside, startled, turned and saw him, joined now by Donna. They stood there in uniform, against the door. He looked at them, then back at Lily, and faltered, trying to work out what was going on.
‘Hello, Mr Garside,’ I said, stepping out from behind the door. ‘I believe you have something to return to my friend here.’
He actually broke out in a spontaneous sweat. Until then, I hadn’t known it was physically possible. His eyes darted about for Lily, but as I had stepped out into the hall she had moved so that she was half behind me.
Sam stepped forward. Mr Garside’s head reached just above his shoulder. ‘The phone, please.’
‘You can’t threaten me.’
‘We’re not threatening you,’ I said, my heart thumping. ‘We would just like the phone.’
‘You’re threatening me just by blocking my exit.’
‘Oh, no, sir,’ said Sam. ‘Actually threatening you would involve mentioning the fact that, if my colleague and I chose, we could pin you down right here and now and inject you with dihypranol, which would slow and ultimately stop your heart. Now that would be a threat, especially as nobody would question the word of the paramedic crew who had apparently tried to save you. And as dihypranol is one of the few drugs that leaves no trace in the bloodstream.’
Donna, her arms crossed across her chest, shook her head sadly. ‘It’s a shame, the way these middle-aged businessmen just drop like flies.’
‘All sorts of health issues. They drink too much, eat too well, don’t take enough exercise.’
‘I’m sure this gentleman here isn’t like that.’
‘You’d hope not. But who knows?’
Mr Garside seemed to have shrunk by several inches.
‘And don’t even think of threatening Lily. We know where you live, Mr Garside. All paramedics have that information to hand if and when they need it. It’s amazing what can happen if you piss off a paramedic.’
‘This is outrageous.’ He was blustering now, his face drained of colour.
‘Yup. It really is.’ I held out my hand. ‘The phone, please.’
Garside glanced around him again, then finally reached into his pocket and handed it, to me.
I tossed it to Lily. ‘Check it, Lily.’
I looked away, in deference to her feelings, while she did so. ‘Delete it,’ I said. ‘Just delete it.’ When I looked back, she had the phone, screen blank, in her hand. She gave a faint nod. Sam motioned to her to throw it to him. He dropped it to the floor and stamped down on it with his right foot, so that the plastic splintered. He crushed it with such violence that the floor shook. I found myself flinching, along with Mr Garside, every time Sam’s heavy boot came down.
Finally, Sam stooped and gingerly picked up the tiny SIM card, which had skidded under the radiator. He examined it, and held it up in front of the older man. ‘Was that the only copy?’
Garside nodded. Moisture was darkening his collar.
‘Of course it’s the only copy,’ said Donna. ‘A responsible member of the community wouldn’t want to take the risk of something like that turning up anywhere, would he? Imagine what Mr Garside’s family would say if his nasty little secret got out?’
Garside’s mouth had compressed into a thin line. ‘You’ve got what you wanted. Now let me leave.’
‘No. I would like to say something.’ My voice, I noted distantly, shook slightly with the effort of containing my fury. ‘You are a sleazy, pathetic little man, and if I –’
‘Did you send the address?’ I asked him.
‘Yup.’
‘Show me.’
The phone message was simply the address of my flat and signed L.
He had responded: I have a meeting in town and I’ll be there shortly after eight.
‘You okay?’ he said.
My stomach tightened. I felt as if I could hardly breathe. ‘I don’t want to get you into trouble. I mean – what if you get found out? You’ll lose your job.’
Sam shook his head. ‘Won’t happen.’
‘I shouldn’t have pulled you into this mess. You’ve been so brilliant and I feel like I’m repaying you by putting you at risk.’
‘We’ll all be fine. Keep breathing.’ He smiled reassuringly at me, but I thought I could detect a faint strain around his eyes.
He glanced over my shoulder and I turned. Lily was wearing a black T-shirt, denim shorts and black tights, and she had done her make-up so that she looked simultaneously very beautiful and very young. ‘You all right, sweetheart?’
She nodded. Her skin, normally the slightly olive colour Will’s had been, was unusually pale. Her eyes were huge in her face.
‘It’s all going to be fine, I’d be surprised if it takes longer than five minutes. Lou’s been through it all with you, yes?’ Sam’s voice was calm, reassuring.
We had rehearsed it a dozen times. I wanted her to reach a point where she wouldn’t freeze, where she could repeat her lines without thinking.
‘I know what I’m doing.’
‘Right,’ he said, and clapped his hands together. ‘Quarter to eight. Let’s get ready.’
He was punctual, I had to give him that. At one minute past eight my buzzer rang. Lily took an audible breath, I squeezed her hand, and then she answered the entry-phone. Yes. Yes, she’s gone. Come up. It didn’t seem to occur to him that she might not be what he thought.
Lily let him in. Only I, watching through the crack in my bedroom door, could see the way her hand trembled as she reached for the lock. Garside ran his hand over his hair, glanced briefly around the hallway. He was wearing a good grey suit, and tucked his car keys into his inside breast pocket. I couldn’t stop staring at him, at his expensive shirt, his beady, acquisitive eyes as they scanned the flat. My jaw tightened. What kind of man felt entitled to press himself on a girl forty years younger than he was? To blackmail the child of his own colleague?
He looked uncomfortable, far from relaxed. ‘I’ve parked my car out the back. Will it be safe?’
‘I think so.’ Lily swallowed.
‘You think so?’ He took a step back towards the door. The kind of man who sees his car as an extension of some minuscule part of himself. ‘And what about your friend? Whoever owns this place. They’re not coming back?’
I held my breath. Behind me I felt Sam’s steadying hand on the small of my back.
‘Oh. No. It will be fine.’ She smiled, suddenly reassuring. ‘She won’t be back for ages. Do come in. Would you like a drink, Mr Garside?’
He looked at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. ‘So formal.’ He took a step forward and finally closed the door behind him. ‘Do you have Scotch?’
‘I’ll check. Come through.’
She began to walk to the kitchen, him following, removing his suit jacket. As they entered the living room, Sam walked past me out of the bedroom, strode across the hallway in his heavy boots and locked the inside door to the flat, placing the keys, jangling, in his pocket.
Garside, startled, turned and saw him, joined now by Donna. They stood there in uniform, against the door. He looked at them, then back at Lily, and faltered, trying to work out what was going on.
‘Hello, Mr Garside,’ I said, stepping out from behind the door. ‘I believe you have something to return to my friend here.’
He actually broke out in a spontaneous sweat. Until then, I hadn’t known it was physically possible. His eyes darted about for Lily, but as I had stepped out into the hall she had moved so that she was half behind me.
Sam stepped forward. Mr Garside’s head reached just above his shoulder. ‘The phone, please.’
‘You can’t threaten me.’
‘We’re not threatening you,’ I said, my heart thumping. ‘We would just like the phone.’
‘You’re threatening me just by blocking my exit.’
‘Oh, no, sir,’ said Sam. ‘Actually threatening you would involve mentioning the fact that, if my colleague and I chose, we could pin you down right here and now and inject you with dihypranol, which would slow and ultimately stop your heart. Now that would be a threat, especially as nobody would question the word of the paramedic crew who had apparently tried to save you. And as dihypranol is one of the few drugs that leaves no trace in the bloodstream.’
Donna, her arms crossed across her chest, shook her head sadly. ‘It’s a shame, the way these middle-aged businessmen just drop like flies.’
‘All sorts of health issues. They drink too much, eat too well, don’t take enough exercise.’
‘I’m sure this gentleman here isn’t like that.’
‘You’d hope not. But who knows?’
Mr Garside seemed to have shrunk by several inches.
‘And don’t even think of threatening Lily. We know where you live, Mr Garside. All paramedics have that information to hand if and when they need it. It’s amazing what can happen if you piss off a paramedic.’
‘This is outrageous.’ He was blustering now, his face drained of colour.
‘Yup. It really is.’ I held out my hand. ‘The phone, please.’
Garside glanced around him again, then finally reached into his pocket and handed it, to me.
I tossed it to Lily. ‘Check it, Lily.’
I looked away, in deference to her feelings, while she did so. ‘Delete it,’ I said. ‘Just delete it.’ When I looked back, she had the phone, screen blank, in her hand. She gave a faint nod. Sam motioned to her to throw it to him. He dropped it to the floor and stamped down on it with his right foot, so that the plastic splintered. He crushed it with such violence that the floor shook. I found myself flinching, along with Mr Garside, every time Sam’s heavy boot came down.
Finally, Sam stooped and gingerly picked up the tiny SIM card, which had skidded under the radiator. He examined it, and held it up in front of the older man. ‘Was that the only copy?’
Garside nodded. Moisture was darkening his collar.
‘Of course it’s the only copy,’ said Donna. ‘A responsible member of the community wouldn’t want to take the risk of something like that turning up anywhere, would he? Imagine what Mr Garside’s family would say if his nasty little secret got out?’
Garside’s mouth had compressed into a thin line. ‘You’ve got what you wanted. Now let me leave.’
‘No. I would like to say something.’ My voice, I noted distantly, shook slightly with the effort of containing my fury. ‘You are a sleazy, pathetic little man, and if I –’
