He groans so low I can hardly hear it. “You want me to.”
“You promised you wouldn’t until I asked,” I remind him.
His mouth moves to my ear, and his lips graze the sensitive shell as he speaks. “You’re going to ask, Hanna. We both know you’re going to ask.”
“We can’t be lovers.”
“What can we be?”
“Friends.”
“NOW YOU can open your eyes.”
I do as my mother says and find myself face to face with…an open field. “Okay…”
“This land is for sale. I thought you could build your house here.” She picked me up from the bakery, and we drove for thirty minutes. Out of New Hope and into stretches of cornfields that are conveniently located near more cornfields.
“Where are we?”
“Just a little drive outside of New Hope, but isn’t it beautiful?”
“I don’t have any money to build a house,” I say cautiously.
“Well, sure you will—after you and Max get back together and you get married. You’ll have your trust fund. I can just see you building out here, raising the babies in it, having a big yard for them to run in, and you can host dinners and we’ll all drive over to see you.”
I burst into tears, but it feels more like I’m smacked upside the face with them. “I don’t want anyone to have to drive to see me,” I snivel. “I don’t want to live in LA and I don’t want to live in the middle of a bunch of cornfields half an hour from my family. I want to live in New Hope. I want to be there when Abby starts dating and when Maggie has babies. I want to be here to watch Lizzy’s preschool turn into the best preschool for miles and when you get old and senile.” I draw in a ragged breath. “I don’t want to leave. Is there something so wrong with that?”
Mom’s face softens. “No. There’s nothing wrong with that at all.” She draws me into her arms and strokes my hair. “Nothing at all.”
“I’m not going to get back together with Max,” I say. “I can’t marry him. It’s over.”
“What? Why? Is this about that rocker? Are you going to be with him?”
“No. Yes.” I shake my head.
It’s been weeks since I gave Max his ring back, and he’s been as wonderful as he ever was before. He’s been helping at the bakery while I’ve been doing interviews to replace Liz, he’s brought me groceries when he thought I might be too tired to shop, and two nights ago, I caught him applying non-skid surface to the stairs to my apartment. He’s sweet and wonderful. The terrifying months waiting before me would be so much easier if he were by my side.
“You still love him,” she says into my hair. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”
I pull out of her arms and take a deep breath. “I need to ask you a favor, and I want you to consider it before you say no.”
“Okay.”
“Max is the silent partner for my bakery, and I want to buy him out. He’s trying to get custodial rights to his daughter. He needs the money.” If he had the money, he might be able to hire more help at the club again, and he needs time more than he needs anything else. Sam and Will have been helping when they can, but that only goes so far. “Could you give me access to my trust so I can buy him out? I’m not asking for any more than that. Just enough to buy out his portion and pay off the mortgage on the building.”
She studies me for a minute then shakes her head. “I would if I could, but those trusts were established by your father. We’d have quite a court battle on our hands if we wanted to go outside his terms, and we’d probably lose.” She sighs. “I know this is important to you, and I’m sorry I can’t change that.”
My eyes burn with tears. Stupid hormones. “It’s okay. I’ll figure out another way.”
11
THE NIGHT is gorgeous. The stars twinkle on the river and the moon bathes Asher’s backyard in a soft glow. Maggie and Asher have been in New York together the last week, and they’ve invited us all here for an early Thanksgiving gathering.
Nate’s been gone for nearly four weeks, and I keep finding myself wandering around the party, looking for his face. I know he’s coming back to town soon because he said he’d be back in time for my ultrasound next week, but every time I scan the faces in the crowd, I come up empty.
“We want to thank you all for coming,” Asher announces to his guests. “We’re thrilled that you could come on such short notice. You see, this isn’t just any party. We wanted you to celebrate with us.”
“Go ahead,” Mom calls. She’s practically bouncing in her seat. “Tell them your news.”
Asher and Maggie exchange looks, and Liz says, “Holy shit. You’re pregnant too?”
Maggie laughs. “No. That’s not it. But”—she sticks out her left hand toward the small crowd—“we’re married.”
“No way,” Liz breathes, and then, suddenly, everyone is clapping and cheering, and Liz and I are rushing toward Maggie to hug her.
When I get my turn, I squeeze her tight. “Congratulations. You deserve this.”
Maggie returns my hug. “I’m so happy. I never thought I’d get to be this happy.”
“We want details,” Liz demands.
Maggie beams. “We were in New York visiting Zoe, and Asher took me to this gorgeous little vineyard upstate. He had everything arranged—the flowers, the location, the photographer. He said he knew I was afraid of weddings because of…well, you know…but he didn’t need a big crowd. He just needed me. If I would have him.”
“You promised you wouldn’t until I asked,” I remind him.
His mouth moves to my ear, and his lips graze the sensitive shell as he speaks. “You’re going to ask, Hanna. We both know you’re going to ask.”
“We can’t be lovers.”
“What can we be?”
“Friends.”
“NOW YOU can open your eyes.”
I do as my mother says and find myself face to face with…an open field. “Okay…”
“This land is for sale. I thought you could build your house here.” She picked me up from the bakery, and we drove for thirty minutes. Out of New Hope and into stretches of cornfields that are conveniently located near more cornfields.
“Where are we?”
“Just a little drive outside of New Hope, but isn’t it beautiful?”
“I don’t have any money to build a house,” I say cautiously.
“Well, sure you will—after you and Max get back together and you get married. You’ll have your trust fund. I can just see you building out here, raising the babies in it, having a big yard for them to run in, and you can host dinners and we’ll all drive over to see you.”
I burst into tears, but it feels more like I’m smacked upside the face with them. “I don’t want anyone to have to drive to see me,” I snivel. “I don’t want to live in LA and I don’t want to live in the middle of a bunch of cornfields half an hour from my family. I want to live in New Hope. I want to be there when Abby starts dating and when Maggie has babies. I want to be here to watch Lizzy’s preschool turn into the best preschool for miles and when you get old and senile.” I draw in a ragged breath. “I don’t want to leave. Is there something so wrong with that?”
Mom’s face softens. “No. There’s nothing wrong with that at all.” She draws me into her arms and strokes my hair. “Nothing at all.”
“I’m not going to get back together with Max,” I say. “I can’t marry him. It’s over.”
“What? Why? Is this about that rocker? Are you going to be with him?”
“No. Yes.” I shake my head.
It’s been weeks since I gave Max his ring back, and he’s been as wonderful as he ever was before. He’s been helping at the bakery while I’ve been doing interviews to replace Liz, he’s brought me groceries when he thought I might be too tired to shop, and two nights ago, I caught him applying non-skid surface to the stairs to my apartment. He’s sweet and wonderful. The terrifying months waiting before me would be so much easier if he were by my side.
“You still love him,” she says into my hair. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”
I pull out of her arms and take a deep breath. “I need to ask you a favor, and I want you to consider it before you say no.”
“Okay.”
“Max is the silent partner for my bakery, and I want to buy him out. He’s trying to get custodial rights to his daughter. He needs the money.” If he had the money, he might be able to hire more help at the club again, and he needs time more than he needs anything else. Sam and Will have been helping when they can, but that only goes so far. “Could you give me access to my trust so I can buy him out? I’m not asking for any more than that. Just enough to buy out his portion and pay off the mortgage on the building.”
She studies me for a minute then shakes her head. “I would if I could, but those trusts were established by your father. We’d have quite a court battle on our hands if we wanted to go outside his terms, and we’d probably lose.” She sighs. “I know this is important to you, and I’m sorry I can’t change that.”
My eyes burn with tears. Stupid hormones. “It’s okay. I’ll figure out another way.”
11
THE NIGHT is gorgeous. The stars twinkle on the river and the moon bathes Asher’s backyard in a soft glow. Maggie and Asher have been in New York together the last week, and they’ve invited us all here for an early Thanksgiving gathering.
Nate’s been gone for nearly four weeks, and I keep finding myself wandering around the party, looking for his face. I know he’s coming back to town soon because he said he’d be back in time for my ultrasound next week, but every time I scan the faces in the crowd, I come up empty.
“We want to thank you all for coming,” Asher announces to his guests. “We’re thrilled that you could come on such short notice. You see, this isn’t just any party. We wanted you to celebrate with us.”
“Go ahead,” Mom calls. She’s practically bouncing in her seat. “Tell them your news.”
Asher and Maggie exchange looks, and Liz says, “Holy shit. You’re pregnant too?”
Maggie laughs. “No. That’s not it. But”—she sticks out her left hand toward the small crowd—“we’re married.”
“No way,” Liz breathes, and then, suddenly, everyone is clapping and cheering, and Liz and I are rushing toward Maggie to hug her.
When I get my turn, I squeeze her tight. “Congratulations. You deserve this.”
Maggie returns my hug. “I’m so happy. I never thought I’d get to be this happy.”
“We want details,” Liz demands.
Maggie beams. “We were in New York visiting Zoe, and Asher took me to this gorgeous little vineyard upstate. He had everything arranged—the flowers, the location, the photographer. He said he knew I was afraid of weddings because of…well, you know…but he didn’t need a big crowd. He just needed me. If I would have him.”
