All for This
Page 8

 Lexi Ryan

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“It is!” Collin squirms, and I set him on his feet so he can run after “Uncle” Asher.
“Thanks for bringing him,” I tell Vivian. After over a week in silence, speaking still feels odd. When I went to India to join Janelle at her little spiritual retreat, I had no idea I’d be handing over my electronics and my right to speak for the foreseeable future. Not that I cared. I didn’t want to talk to anyone anyway.
“The last thing you needed was a paparazzo catching your reunion or, worse, following you here. It was better this way.”
I nod, watching as Collin follows Asher into the house. “Jamaal will be here soon, and Asher and I are hiring extra security. They’ll find me here, but I don’t have to let them get close.”
Her shoulders drop a little, and I know she’s relieved. She’s never been fond of what she sees as my “lax” security measures. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“How’s he handling the divorce?” I ask, looking at Collin.
She shrugs and puts on the brave smile I recognize so well. “Better than expected, I guess. Except he seems to think this means you and I are getting back together, and I try to explain that sometimes mommies and daddies love each other but can’t be together.”
“Viv,” I whisper.
She shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. That makes me feel worse.”
“I need to apologize, especially about what happened in London. It was—”
She puts her fingers to my lips. “Stop while you’re ahead. Please. I’m just glad you’re not dead. The rest is irrelevant.”
I pull her into a hug and press a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll always love you. You gave me my son.”
“Be careful.”
“I’m not getting in a helicopter anytime soon, so you don’t need to—”
“With her, Nathaniel. Be careful with that girl. I don’t trust her.”
“Hanna?”
She nods. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Too late. “You’re the one who insisted I tell her how I feel.”
“That was before I knew she was seeing someone else. I saw them together.”
“I know about her fiancé, Viv. Just…back off, okay?”
“She’s engaged to him?” She smacks me in the chest. “Why are you messing around with a woman who’s engaged to someone else?”
“She wasn’t engaged then.”
My phone buzzes. Hanna’s name scrolls across the screen, making my gut flip and clench all in one riotous movement. All summer long, texts from Hanna were the highlight of my days. How long has it been since I received a text message from her?
Hanna: Can we talk tonight?
Nate: What’s there to say?
Hanna: Please.
I swallow as I stare at the single word in her last message. Please. I can’t say no to her, even if seeing her with his ring on her finger will kill something inside me.
“Is that her?” Vivian asks. She reaches for my phone, and I sidestep her.
“Back off, Viv. Don’t try to mother-bear me. This doesn’t concern you.”
“You said you told her how you felt.”
“I did,” I growl. “Drop it.”
“You see? It’s better. Now you know and—”
I don’t hear the rest because I’m walking away. The last thing I need right now is to hear Vivian’s opinion of my relationship with Hanna. When I’m alone in the house again, I reply to Hanna’s last text.
Nate: The dock. Nine thirty.
4
“HOW ARE you holding up?”
I’m quiet for a minute, looking around Brady’s. There have been plenty of curious glances thrown my way since William and I sat down with our beer. The news of Hanna’s and my canceled wedding spread across town like the best kind of gossip.
By now, half the town knows Hanna is pregnant with another man’s baby, though I’m not sure who leaked that information. Not that it was a secret, but the summer breakup was. The story of her pregnancy is irresistible to the gossip hounds.
“I’m good,” I finally say. William is studying me as if he doesn’t trust my words. “Relieved, honestly.”
He raises a brow. “Yeah?”
I’m not sure how to explain it. I want Hanna, but I want her to be with me because I’m her choice, not because a tragedy made me the default choice. Every night I slept with her in my arms felt like a miracle made possible by the death of someone she loved. His death tainted what we had.
I only say, “It’s better this way.”
“You two are okay?”
I wish I knew. “She’s still in love with him.”
“She’s still in love with you, too,” Will says, and I nod because that’s what I’ve been holding on to. “Where is she tonight?”
“She’s meeting Nate.” I swallow. “She needs to tell him about the babies.” I offered to go with her. I wanted him to see that I’m standing by her side through all of this, but she declined. “Having you there will just hurt him more.”
“He’s going to fight for her,” Will warns.
“I’ll fight harder.”
Will grins his approval.
I have to change the subject. If I think too much about Hanna meeting Nate tonight, I’ll lose my mind. “How’s Cally feeling?”