All or Nothing at All
Page 42
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They all pondered that dark time in quiet. Tristan was still grateful their relationship had healed and they were now a real family. He had no idea how truly lonely he’d been in New York until he came back to Harrington and claimed his place again.
“I fell apart. I couldn’t deal with my feelings for Sydney because I was so enraged at Dad, and all I wanted to do was get out of Harrington. I began pulling away from her, and we ended up fighting a lot. All I could think about was getting out on my own to see what I could accomplish.”
Dalton nodded. “That’s how I felt when I fled to California. I needed that break.”
“Sydney didn’t want to go. I asked her, but her grandmother was in the hospital, and she wanted to stay. The thing is, I realized besides the constant fighting and age difference, she was happy in Harrington. She liked her job and her life. I was the one who craved a new start. Eventually things got so crappy, I left without her.”
“Makes sense,” Cal said. “I wonder if that’s why she got married so fast after you two broke up.”
The scar still throbbed, but Tristan understood so much more now. “I actually came back to town right before her wedding,” he admitted. “I tried to stop her. Asked her to come to New York with me again.”
“What happened?” Dalton asked.
“She said no. Said I’d never told her I loved her or offered her anything to fight for. She was right, even though I didn’t want to believe that for a long time. We both screwed up, but I want a second chance. We’ve changed. Looking back, I doubt it would’ve worked between us during that time. She’s still the woman I want, and I’m tired of fighting it. I just have to convince her to trust me and take the leap.”
Dalton grinned and motioned to his ripped shirt. “Seems like you got a great head start.”
“Coming from the man whore of the century,” Tristan said, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, not anymore. Raven has made me a changed man, but it was a long road. I had to learn to forgive both of us for the past, and sometimes that screws you up. But I always felt like you and Sydney belonged to each other.”
Cal nodded. “Agreed. You both going to be able to work together so closely while building a personal relationship? Want me or Dalton or Morgan to step in and help?”
“No, I think it will be a good thing for us. Force her to deal with me on a daily basis without running.”
“You really are serious about her,” Cal said thoughtfully. “Just a few weeks ago, you were against promoting her to CFO. Now you want to embark on a relationship. What happened to make you change?”
Tristan tried to express his emotions without getting too touchy-feely and embarrassing all of them. “I kept her at a distance because I was afraid. She made me feel things I wasn’t comfortable with. I hated thinking about how things ended with us, but in the past weeks, I’ve felt different when I’m around her. It’s hard to explain. When I watched her negotiate with Cushman, and the way she’d been handling her CFO position, I respected the hell out of her. And seeing her take care of Becca reminds me so much of Mom. She’s grown into herself, and I fall deeper every day. It’s almost as if all roads in my life were leading to her.” He buried his face in his coffee, ready for them to tear him apart for his poetry.
Instead, they both shared a sigh. “Yep, you got it bad,” Dalton declared. “Raven drove me to highs and lows I’d never experienced. But I can’t imagine a day without her. She makes me whole.”
“Morgan was such a pain in the ass,” Cal said fondly. “She wrecked me. But it was fucking awesome, and I never want to be my old self again.”
Tristan swallowed a lump of emotion, then cleared his throat. “Thanks, guys. I needed to hear that.”
“We’ll back you up, bro,” Dalton said. “Just don’t get impatient. Sometimes women need lots of time to settle things in their minds before their hearts catch up.”
Tristan stared at his brother. He’d always been the closet poet in the group. “That was really sweet.”
“Thanks. Now give me my fucking coffee. I have to get a refill now, and I’ll be forced to answer some wedding questions that scare the hell out of me.”
Tristan and Cal laughed as Dalton snatched his mug back and the door clattered behind him.
His brothers were right. He’d court her slow and steady, in the old-fashioned way. But he wasn’t backing off with the sex. It was the best way to remind her they were meant to be together, so he’d grab every opportunity to bond her to him, until she stopped being spooked and realized the same truth he did.
They were meant to have a second chance.
chapter twelve
Sydney picked her way across the job site, her work boots crunching over wood fragments, twisted metal, and various items of junk. Sawdust flew madly in the air, and the sound of power saws, drills, and hammers rose to her ears. “Syd! I need to know if we’re keeping this wall or if you changed the plans?”
“Hey, there’s a back order on those tiles for the kitchen—did you talk to Tony?”
“Got another dumpster coming in—this all has to be moved.”
“Sydney, we found some mold problems in the basement—you need to come take a look.”
Holy shit. She was never going to be able to pull this off.
It was total chaos. She’d been at job sites before but never with eight houses and never being the main lead. Swallowing back pure panic, she schooled her features into a confident expression¸ gripped her clipboard like a lifeline, and tried to figure out who to answer first.
Tristan was deep in a conversation regarding a plumbing problem with the bathroom renovation, so she gave him a short nod of acknowledgment and headed to the basement to tackle the mold. The next few hours flew by in a mad rush as three houses were prepped and pulled apart and various crises were put to rest.
Temporarily.
The majority of workers finally trudged off-site in clumps, and she headed to the back bedroom to grab a moment of quiet.
What if she couldn’t do this?
What if she failed?
She’d always been a perfectionist, and running the office was her safe haven. She was the queen and always felt completely in control. This project was hitting all her buttons, and the voices slithered in her head, questioning whether she had the talent to deliver Adam all these houses, completely renovated, on time and on budget.
“I fell apart. I couldn’t deal with my feelings for Sydney because I was so enraged at Dad, and all I wanted to do was get out of Harrington. I began pulling away from her, and we ended up fighting a lot. All I could think about was getting out on my own to see what I could accomplish.”
Dalton nodded. “That’s how I felt when I fled to California. I needed that break.”
“Sydney didn’t want to go. I asked her, but her grandmother was in the hospital, and she wanted to stay. The thing is, I realized besides the constant fighting and age difference, she was happy in Harrington. She liked her job and her life. I was the one who craved a new start. Eventually things got so crappy, I left without her.”
“Makes sense,” Cal said. “I wonder if that’s why she got married so fast after you two broke up.”
The scar still throbbed, but Tristan understood so much more now. “I actually came back to town right before her wedding,” he admitted. “I tried to stop her. Asked her to come to New York with me again.”
“What happened?” Dalton asked.
“She said no. Said I’d never told her I loved her or offered her anything to fight for. She was right, even though I didn’t want to believe that for a long time. We both screwed up, but I want a second chance. We’ve changed. Looking back, I doubt it would’ve worked between us during that time. She’s still the woman I want, and I’m tired of fighting it. I just have to convince her to trust me and take the leap.”
Dalton grinned and motioned to his ripped shirt. “Seems like you got a great head start.”
“Coming from the man whore of the century,” Tristan said, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, not anymore. Raven has made me a changed man, but it was a long road. I had to learn to forgive both of us for the past, and sometimes that screws you up. But I always felt like you and Sydney belonged to each other.”
Cal nodded. “Agreed. You both going to be able to work together so closely while building a personal relationship? Want me or Dalton or Morgan to step in and help?”
“No, I think it will be a good thing for us. Force her to deal with me on a daily basis without running.”
“You really are serious about her,” Cal said thoughtfully. “Just a few weeks ago, you were against promoting her to CFO. Now you want to embark on a relationship. What happened to make you change?”
Tristan tried to express his emotions without getting too touchy-feely and embarrassing all of them. “I kept her at a distance because I was afraid. She made me feel things I wasn’t comfortable with. I hated thinking about how things ended with us, but in the past weeks, I’ve felt different when I’m around her. It’s hard to explain. When I watched her negotiate with Cushman, and the way she’d been handling her CFO position, I respected the hell out of her. And seeing her take care of Becca reminds me so much of Mom. She’s grown into herself, and I fall deeper every day. It’s almost as if all roads in my life were leading to her.” He buried his face in his coffee, ready for them to tear him apart for his poetry.
Instead, they both shared a sigh. “Yep, you got it bad,” Dalton declared. “Raven drove me to highs and lows I’d never experienced. But I can’t imagine a day without her. She makes me whole.”
“Morgan was such a pain in the ass,” Cal said fondly. “She wrecked me. But it was fucking awesome, and I never want to be my old self again.”
Tristan swallowed a lump of emotion, then cleared his throat. “Thanks, guys. I needed to hear that.”
“We’ll back you up, bro,” Dalton said. “Just don’t get impatient. Sometimes women need lots of time to settle things in their minds before their hearts catch up.”
Tristan stared at his brother. He’d always been the closet poet in the group. “That was really sweet.”
“Thanks. Now give me my fucking coffee. I have to get a refill now, and I’ll be forced to answer some wedding questions that scare the hell out of me.”
Tristan and Cal laughed as Dalton snatched his mug back and the door clattered behind him.
His brothers were right. He’d court her slow and steady, in the old-fashioned way. But he wasn’t backing off with the sex. It was the best way to remind her they were meant to be together, so he’d grab every opportunity to bond her to him, until she stopped being spooked and realized the same truth he did.
They were meant to have a second chance.
chapter twelve
Sydney picked her way across the job site, her work boots crunching over wood fragments, twisted metal, and various items of junk. Sawdust flew madly in the air, and the sound of power saws, drills, and hammers rose to her ears. “Syd! I need to know if we’re keeping this wall or if you changed the plans?”
“Hey, there’s a back order on those tiles for the kitchen—did you talk to Tony?”
“Got another dumpster coming in—this all has to be moved.”
“Sydney, we found some mold problems in the basement—you need to come take a look.”
Holy shit. She was never going to be able to pull this off.
It was total chaos. She’d been at job sites before but never with eight houses and never being the main lead. Swallowing back pure panic, she schooled her features into a confident expression¸ gripped her clipboard like a lifeline, and tried to figure out who to answer first.
Tristan was deep in a conversation regarding a plumbing problem with the bathroom renovation, so she gave him a short nod of acknowledgment and headed to the basement to tackle the mold. The next few hours flew by in a mad rush as three houses were prepped and pulled apart and various crises were put to rest.
Temporarily.
The majority of workers finally trudged off-site in clumps, and she headed to the back bedroom to grab a moment of quiet.
What if she couldn’t do this?
What if she failed?
She’d always been a perfectionist, and running the office was her safe haven. She was the queen and always felt completely in control. This project was hitting all her buttons, and the voices slithered in her head, questioning whether she had the talent to deliver Adam all these houses, completely renovated, on time and on budget.
