All or Nothing at All
Page 54

He turned. Even mussed and wrinkled and dead tired, he retained an aura of competence and sexuality that reached across the room and grabbed her. Their connection had never been the problem between them. Unfortunately, now it made everything so much harder. His face was calmly set, with an implacable determination in his amber eyes that froze her in sheer fear.
“We’re going to get married.”
It took a few moments for his announcement to register. She figured she’d just heard wrong. “We’re going to what?”
“Get married. It’s the only way to ensure Becca gets the family and support she needs. It’s cruel to rip either one of us away at this point. This way it’s a win-win for her.”
The kitchen spun, and she grabbed on to the edge of the counter. “Tristan, you must be joking. Or drunk. Or delusional. You’re not thinking clearly about what you just proposed.”
“Oh, but I am.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, cocked his hip, and stared at her. The heat and tenderness were gone. In their place were an icy resolution and faint distaste for his proposal. “We’re going to face Becca and give her the happy news. I’ll let you tell her how and why any way you wish, as long as the bottom line is we’ll be getting married and completing our family.”
Anger snapped up from her core, and she lowered her voice to a furious whisper. “We are not about to tell my daughter anything today. This is a delicate situation, and she needs to be thought of first. We need to plan when and how we’ll tell her, and I’m open to feedback. But nothing will be happening right now. Things are too raw. We’re not ready, and neither is she.”
“Oh, I’m ready.” She flinched at the cutting edge of his voice. “I don’t intend to wait another year to be with my daughter. And we will get married, Syd. That’s the only solution to this.”
“You’re not thinking clearly! It’ll never work. She’ll know we’re miserable and unhappy and lying about our relationship. Kids can sense that. She’ll only be more confused!”
“Not if we commit to giving her what she deserves. A real marriage. We both focus on creating a stable, happy home life. We’re not strangers. It’s worth the sacrifice for Becca.”
She wondered if she’d just dropped into an alternate universe where arranged marriages were the norm. The idea of living with this man on a daily basis was impossible. Sleeping with him. Eating breakfast. Wearing old pajamas while she watched television. Those were the types of activities you did with a man you trusted and loved. There was no way they could pretend on such a scale. She’d go mental. She’d become . . . broken.
“It won’t work,” she repeated again. “We can’t live together, Tristan. That type of give-and-take in a marriage, raising a child, isn’t something you can just fake.”
“I don’t intend anything to be fake.” He narrowed his gaze. “We’ll mean every word of those vows we share. I intend to be faithful, show you respect, protect you and Becca, and provide a secure, nurturing environment. And you will do the same.”
She had a crazy urge to laugh at the ridiculousness, but knowing he was dead serious stole away all humor. Oh, God, she couldn’t do this. He stated his intentions like a Boy Scout or military person serving his country. Not like a husband, or a man who wanted to spend his life with a woman he loved.
Because he didn’t love her.
Not anymore.
Maybe not ever. He’d never been able to say the words, no matter how intimate their time was together.
“You can’t just bully me into a marriage. Listen, we don’t need to rush into anything. We’ll talk and decide the right time to tell Becca. Couples deal with two-parent households all the time, and Becca will understand. You can have plenty of time with her—pick her up from school, take her for sleepovers, a weekend getaway. Anything you need.”
“What I need is to be with her every single day.” The implacable determination carved out in his features told her he wouldn’t change his mind. “I need to make up for what was taken away from me. And you will marry me, Sydney. One way or another.”
“You have no right,” she breathed in horror.
“Oh, but I do. You lost all your rights the moment you played God and kept me from making my own choice.” A flick of temper leaked through the armor, but it was quickly brought under control. “You don’t get to say no to this.”
“And if I do?”
He poured his cup of coffee, lifted it to his lips, and took a lingering sip. “I take Becca from you. I hire the best legal team imaginable and make your life a living hell. I let the court decide who’ll be the better parent. How does that sound?”
Her teeth rattled together like a poor imitation of a skeleton. If she hadn’t been sitting, she would’ve sunk to the floor, boneless with fear. He wasn’t making idle threats. Tristan never did. No, he was ruthless when he came to a decision, whether it be leaving for New York, walking away from a deal, or doling out punishment to those who wronged him. This was a man who trusted with his whole soul, but once betrayed, he locked the door and threw away the key.
She’d lost him forever.
The pain of such a loss was still secondary to the idea Becca could be dragged through a custody suit. Nothing was worth that.
Not even living in a sham of a marriage with a man she still loved.
“You would do that?” she asked quietly. “Even if it would tear Becca apart?”
His jaw clenched. His eyes were flat and devoid of all emotion.
“Yes.”
She shuddered, wrapping her arms tight around her body. He’d do it. He wouldn’t want to hurt Becca, but he was desperate. Betrayed. Savage. The worst was the empty vastness between them, reminding her the man she’d fallen for was no longer here. The one who’d taken his place was ruthless. “Don’t do this to us,” she whispered. “You’ll destroy everything.”
“You already did.” He set his coffee down. “I want to hear you say the words. Say you agree.”
“If you do this, you’ll be giving up the opportunity to marry for love. Do you really want to wake up one day and feel trapped by your decision? Feel as if you missed out on an unknown future because of responsibility? You don’t need to do this. We can work it out some other way if you give it a chance.”