Alpha Divided
Page 30
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“Then you shouldn’t have let the witches in,” someone shouted. “Even with the sponsor.”
“—more than it already has been,” Donovan continued like nothing had been said. “Unless it’s your turn to speak, you will be silent.” The last word was so loud, so sharp, that I flinched. His power that backed the command was meant for all the Weres. He turned to me, and his face softened. “Sorry about that.” His t’s had become harder, which meant even if his face was kind, he wasn’t over his anger. “We’ll have the questions now. A warnin’ to all of you, best to stay on topic. Any judgments in your questions and you’ll be cut off. Identify yourself before asking, too. The lass is new and won’t know your names.”
It was quiet for a long time, and then the old man from the cabin stood up.
“I’m Muraco, alpha of the Andes clan, with a question for Teresa. We’ve heard a lot of people talking about you. What I’d like to know is how you felt about becoming the wolf?”
I hadn’t been expecting that kind of question. I’d thought this was going to be more of an interrogation.
I couldn’t lie—they’d smell it—so I had to be honest, but I wasn’t going to sway anyone to my side with the truth. I cleared my throat. “I didn’t want to be a wolf and I didn’t like that I’d been bitten.” I paused, waiting for something, but it was so quiet, all I could hear was the crackling of the fire. “I didn’t know that werewolves existed before I moved here. I didn’t even know that I was a bruja and that was why I could see what I see. So, it was shocking when I woke up at St. Ailbe’s.” I went into the whole running away thing, and why I’d done that. It had been an adjustment, and I hoped that they’d understand or at least sympathize with the drastic changes I’d gone through. “So, it took me a while not to be afraid of my wolf. Now, asking me how I currently feel about becoming a wolf—I love it. I love shifting. I love it here. I love my mate, my friends, and my pack. I don’t want to leave.”
Dastien got the next question—about his level of control. I got one about what my powers were exactly, and then one about my interactions with la Aquelarre.
Then, someone asked me what I thought about Luciana and my relationship with her. “If being cursed by Luciana is a sign of a good relationship, then I’d say we were on the best of terms. I don’t trust her and I certainly don’t like her. You heard what she said. She wants to control me. She made it perfectly clear that she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that when she cursed me.” There were some murmurs, and I was sure I’d get some questions about that before I was done, but for now, most were quiet. “As much as I would like to learn about being a bruja, I can’t. Not from her.”
I hadn’t really realized that I wanted to learn until I said the words. After helping Meredith, I knew that I couldn’t avoid that part of me anymore. I had to be able to use the gifts that I’d been given. I had to do better. Be better.
A bunch of people shouted questions all at once and I blinked through the heat of the fire. It seemed like with every question I answered, there were twenty more. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle this.
I think Donovan’s about to call this to an end, Dastien said.
You think?
Yeah. Look at his hands.
They were fisted by his sides. His knuckles were white, and a fine sheen of fur covered over their tops.
He’s itching to. He wanted to cancel the Tribunal from the start.
I’d known that, but it didn’t change where we were today. It might be too late for us.
Yes.
“—your turn to say something,” Donovan said.
Everyone was staring at me. Shit. I had to stop tuning out when I talked to Dastien through our bond.
That’s your cue.
Right. I got out my notecards. My hands shook as I flipped through them. The words seemed to blend together, and I couldn’t make sense of them. The paper crinkled as I flipped through them again, and I realized this was dumb. I didn’t need the cards. I just had to speak from the heart.
I tossed them in the fire and watched as the cards curled, the flames licking along the edges until they were totally consumed.
This was it. Time for me to defend myself.
I cleared my throat, wishing I had a glass of water before I started. “I know that I’ve caused quite a stir since I showed up here. Believe me, no one expected me to be here less than me.” I blew out a breath. “But now that I’m here, I don’t want to leave. I know rules were broken, and that I lost my temper a bit with Imogene. It was wrong, and I was fighting the change. I’m not anymore. I’ve accepted my wolf, the pack, and my mate. I’d love it if I was accepted in return.” I paused, trying to think of what I should say next. “Even if I wanted to feel bad about not joining the coven, I don’t. Maybe it was a disservice to them that I was bitten, but I don’t know how my life could be other than the way it is.” I couldn’t apologize for something I didn’t feel. “I would apologize to Imogene for attacking her, but I was told that fights among students was a thing of the norm around here. She was digging through my things making insane accusations, and I lost my temper. I was new to being a wolf, and it was an adjustment. However, when she attacked me, after participating in a coup to take down this very pack, I didn’t call a Tribunal on her. I forgave her and asked that the pack give her a second chance. I hope that some of you will remember that. Will put yourselves in my shoes. And when you’re thinking about what to do with me and Dastien, it’d be great if you could remember that we can’t go back in time. This—me being bitten—can’t be undone. We can only move forward. And for me, that means I’m both wolf and witch. Luciana is hanging on to the fact that she can separate me from the wolf, but each of you should know how impossible that is.” I glanced around the pack, hoping to see some kind of agreement, but got nothing. A sea of faces stared back at me. “I—” I cleared my throat. “I wanted to also make it known that I’m not completely unreasonable. I don’t want anyone else hurt because of the choices that Dastien and I have made. Just know that any type of permanent separation will not be entertained by either of us.” That was backed with just a little taste of power. I didn’t want to push them, but if I gave them a little bit of weakness, they’d exploit it for sure.
“—more than it already has been,” Donovan continued like nothing had been said. “Unless it’s your turn to speak, you will be silent.” The last word was so loud, so sharp, that I flinched. His power that backed the command was meant for all the Weres. He turned to me, and his face softened. “Sorry about that.” His t’s had become harder, which meant even if his face was kind, he wasn’t over his anger. “We’ll have the questions now. A warnin’ to all of you, best to stay on topic. Any judgments in your questions and you’ll be cut off. Identify yourself before asking, too. The lass is new and won’t know your names.”
It was quiet for a long time, and then the old man from the cabin stood up.
“I’m Muraco, alpha of the Andes clan, with a question for Teresa. We’ve heard a lot of people talking about you. What I’d like to know is how you felt about becoming the wolf?”
I hadn’t been expecting that kind of question. I’d thought this was going to be more of an interrogation.
I couldn’t lie—they’d smell it—so I had to be honest, but I wasn’t going to sway anyone to my side with the truth. I cleared my throat. “I didn’t want to be a wolf and I didn’t like that I’d been bitten.” I paused, waiting for something, but it was so quiet, all I could hear was the crackling of the fire. “I didn’t know that werewolves existed before I moved here. I didn’t even know that I was a bruja and that was why I could see what I see. So, it was shocking when I woke up at St. Ailbe’s.” I went into the whole running away thing, and why I’d done that. It had been an adjustment, and I hoped that they’d understand or at least sympathize with the drastic changes I’d gone through. “So, it took me a while not to be afraid of my wolf. Now, asking me how I currently feel about becoming a wolf—I love it. I love shifting. I love it here. I love my mate, my friends, and my pack. I don’t want to leave.”
Dastien got the next question—about his level of control. I got one about what my powers were exactly, and then one about my interactions with la Aquelarre.
Then, someone asked me what I thought about Luciana and my relationship with her. “If being cursed by Luciana is a sign of a good relationship, then I’d say we were on the best of terms. I don’t trust her and I certainly don’t like her. You heard what she said. She wants to control me. She made it perfectly clear that she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that when she cursed me.” There were some murmurs, and I was sure I’d get some questions about that before I was done, but for now, most were quiet. “As much as I would like to learn about being a bruja, I can’t. Not from her.”
I hadn’t really realized that I wanted to learn until I said the words. After helping Meredith, I knew that I couldn’t avoid that part of me anymore. I had to be able to use the gifts that I’d been given. I had to do better. Be better.
A bunch of people shouted questions all at once and I blinked through the heat of the fire. It seemed like with every question I answered, there were twenty more. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle this.
I think Donovan’s about to call this to an end, Dastien said.
You think?
Yeah. Look at his hands.
They were fisted by his sides. His knuckles were white, and a fine sheen of fur covered over their tops.
He’s itching to. He wanted to cancel the Tribunal from the start.
I’d known that, but it didn’t change where we were today. It might be too late for us.
Yes.
“—your turn to say something,” Donovan said.
Everyone was staring at me. Shit. I had to stop tuning out when I talked to Dastien through our bond.
That’s your cue.
Right. I got out my notecards. My hands shook as I flipped through them. The words seemed to blend together, and I couldn’t make sense of them. The paper crinkled as I flipped through them again, and I realized this was dumb. I didn’t need the cards. I just had to speak from the heart.
I tossed them in the fire and watched as the cards curled, the flames licking along the edges until they were totally consumed.
This was it. Time for me to defend myself.
I cleared my throat, wishing I had a glass of water before I started. “I know that I’ve caused quite a stir since I showed up here. Believe me, no one expected me to be here less than me.” I blew out a breath. “But now that I’m here, I don’t want to leave. I know rules were broken, and that I lost my temper a bit with Imogene. It was wrong, and I was fighting the change. I’m not anymore. I’ve accepted my wolf, the pack, and my mate. I’d love it if I was accepted in return.” I paused, trying to think of what I should say next. “Even if I wanted to feel bad about not joining the coven, I don’t. Maybe it was a disservice to them that I was bitten, but I don’t know how my life could be other than the way it is.” I couldn’t apologize for something I didn’t feel. “I would apologize to Imogene for attacking her, but I was told that fights among students was a thing of the norm around here. She was digging through my things making insane accusations, and I lost my temper. I was new to being a wolf, and it was an adjustment. However, when she attacked me, after participating in a coup to take down this very pack, I didn’t call a Tribunal on her. I forgave her and asked that the pack give her a second chance. I hope that some of you will remember that. Will put yourselves in my shoes. And when you’re thinking about what to do with me and Dastien, it’d be great if you could remember that we can’t go back in time. This—me being bitten—can’t be undone. We can only move forward. And for me, that means I’m both wolf and witch. Luciana is hanging on to the fact that she can separate me from the wolf, but each of you should know how impossible that is.” I glanced around the pack, hoping to see some kind of agreement, but got nothing. A sea of faces stared back at me. “I—” I cleared my throat. “I wanted to also make it known that I’m not completely unreasonable. I don’t want anyone else hurt because of the choices that Dastien and I have made. Just know that any type of permanent separation will not be entertained by either of us.” That was backed with just a little taste of power. I didn’t want to push them, but if I gave them a little bit of weakness, they’d exploit it for sure.
