Always on My Mind
Page 36
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“Not tonight, Lori.” His lungs were pumping just as hard as hers were from the run and from the struggle to keep her with him. “I know you’re not going to stay, but please don’t run from me tonight.” She made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. “Please,” he begged again, “just give me tonight.”
Maybe it was the fact that, for the second time in one night, he’d actually asked for something rather than just demanding it from her. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, like he’d be lost without her. Maybe it was the fact that their dances together had solidified something that couldn’t possibly be put into words: a connection between two people who were, whether they wanted to be or not, a perfect fit. At least for a little while—while their lives collided.
Maybe it was simply that falling in love wasn’t something Lori would ever be able to turn away from, regardless of just how much pain she knew would be coming down the pike. And maybe, just maybe, as long as she never actually confessed to him how she felt, that would make it okay to give in to what she felt for Grayson for one night, beneath the moon, with the smell of wild grass and the ocean all around them...
Chapter Seventeen
Grayson had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Lori, but it wasn’t just physical anymore, even though her beauty while she’d led the entire community in her line dancing choreography had simply stunned him all over again, as though he was seeing her for the very first time.
He wanted to hear her laugh.
He wanted to feel her breathing softly as she fell asleep against him, her head on his shoulder.
And he wanted to see her spin a little dark-haired girl around and around in circles, a girl who looked like both of them, a spitfire who would yell “No” at them just as loudly as she would declare her love before falling asleep in the home they’d made for her and her brothers and sisters.
They were all crazy dreams—especially the last one. Dreams that would never be anything more than pure fantasy...but he already knew those fantasies were what would keep him going long after she left. He also knew that keeping her hidden away on his farm for more than a stolen week or two would unfairly deprive the world of her truly special gifts.
Lori made everything finally seem real, gave meaning to what had only seemed like routine before. It was why he was afraid to put her down, to let her toes touch the ground again. If she changed her mind about tonight, then all the brilliant colors she’d painted for him since she’d blown into his life like a hurricane would turn back to gray.
Even after watching her dance, he’d been trying to keep his distance, had been telling himself he needed to do whatever it took to resist her. But then, from across the barn Eric had come for her, to dance with her, to hold her in his arms...and Grayson had simply broken. He’d had to pull her into his arms, had to give in to how good he knew it would be to waltz with her, to put his arms around her and feel her lay her cheek against his shoulder.
He knew exactly why Lori had run from the barn dance—he wasn’t the only one who had tripped and fallen into the last person on earth he should ever want to hold on to. But all the good reasons to stay away from her were lost in the visions of her laughing with men and women who never usually took to outsiders, the way every little boy and girl in the barn had fallen head over heels in love with her as she danced with them.
How could they not fall for her?
“I need to love you,” he said against her hair, still holding her so tightly, even after she’d promised not to run from him tonight.
Of course, she surprised him all over again when she wrapped her legs around his waist and held as tightly to him as he was holding her.
“Love me, Grayson.”
As he finally captured her lips, he realized she kissed the way she danced, without holding anything back. He wanted to lay her down in the grass, wanted to love her beneath the moon and the stars. But he couldn’t stand the thought of her soft skin being scratched by sticks or rocks, so even as he kissed her, he was walking back toward his truck with Lori wrapped around him.
“Riding you is so much more fun than riding a horse,” she said, laughing against his mouth.
The sound of her joy was so sweet that he couldn’t keep moving forward, couldn’t do anything but stand in the grass and wildflowers and kiss her.
“I put clean sheets on your bed today,” she informed him with a naughty little smile when he finally pulled back from her sweet lips, her gorgeous face lit by the moonlight. “Let’s go mess them up.” And then she was unwrapping her legs from around his waist, saying, “Race you to the truck,” and running off through the field.
Her long dark hair was flying out behind her as he chased her again, her limbs strong and fast as the satin of her dress tangled up in her beautiful legs, her laughter filling his heart until he was sure it was going to overflow. He reached out for her hand just as she reached back for him, and their fingers threaded together as he pulled her back into him for one more hot kiss.
He opened the passenger door of his truck for her, and this time when he helped her up, he let his hands roam across her perfect ass, which she wiggled into his palms.
“You know,” she said as he slid in behind the wheel seconds later, “I’ve never made love in a truck before.”
God, he thought as the blood rushed hotter, faster, through his veins, it was tempting. So tempting to stay right here in this dark and deserted corner where he’d parked, and drag her onto his lap, even though he had been fantasizing all week long about making love to her in his bed.
Grayson had spent the past three years controlling everything. His farm. His animals. His emotions. His needs. But now, in the span of a few seconds, it was all slipping out of his grasp.
Because the mere thought of taking Lori in his truck was so potent that he couldn’t do a damned thing to stop the Neanderthal lurking inside him from emerging to take. To claim. To possess.
By the time he had his hands on her and was dragging her onto his lap, hers were already on him, moving up his chest. “Grayson.” She breathed his name into the crook of his neck, the same place she’d licked on the ride during the storm a couple of days ago.
Though he was on the verge of ripping off her dress, when she twined her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer with desire raging heated and wild all around them, for the moment, just holding her tight was not only enough...it was more than he’d ever thought to have.
* * *
Maybe it was the fact that, for the second time in one night, he’d actually asked for something rather than just demanding it from her. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, like he’d be lost without her. Maybe it was the fact that their dances together had solidified something that couldn’t possibly be put into words: a connection between two people who were, whether they wanted to be or not, a perfect fit. At least for a little while—while their lives collided.
Maybe it was simply that falling in love wasn’t something Lori would ever be able to turn away from, regardless of just how much pain she knew would be coming down the pike. And maybe, just maybe, as long as she never actually confessed to him how she felt, that would make it okay to give in to what she felt for Grayson for one night, beneath the moon, with the smell of wild grass and the ocean all around them...
Chapter Seventeen
Grayson had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Lori, but it wasn’t just physical anymore, even though her beauty while she’d led the entire community in her line dancing choreography had simply stunned him all over again, as though he was seeing her for the very first time.
He wanted to hear her laugh.
He wanted to feel her breathing softly as she fell asleep against him, her head on his shoulder.
And he wanted to see her spin a little dark-haired girl around and around in circles, a girl who looked like both of them, a spitfire who would yell “No” at them just as loudly as she would declare her love before falling asleep in the home they’d made for her and her brothers and sisters.
They were all crazy dreams—especially the last one. Dreams that would never be anything more than pure fantasy...but he already knew those fantasies were what would keep him going long after she left. He also knew that keeping her hidden away on his farm for more than a stolen week or two would unfairly deprive the world of her truly special gifts.
Lori made everything finally seem real, gave meaning to what had only seemed like routine before. It was why he was afraid to put her down, to let her toes touch the ground again. If she changed her mind about tonight, then all the brilliant colors she’d painted for him since she’d blown into his life like a hurricane would turn back to gray.
Even after watching her dance, he’d been trying to keep his distance, had been telling himself he needed to do whatever it took to resist her. But then, from across the barn Eric had come for her, to dance with her, to hold her in his arms...and Grayson had simply broken. He’d had to pull her into his arms, had to give in to how good he knew it would be to waltz with her, to put his arms around her and feel her lay her cheek against his shoulder.
He knew exactly why Lori had run from the barn dance—he wasn’t the only one who had tripped and fallen into the last person on earth he should ever want to hold on to. But all the good reasons to stay away from her were lost in the visions of her laughing with men and women who never usually took to outsiders, the way every little boy and girl in the barn had fallen head over heels in love with her as she danced with them.
How could they not fall for her?
“I need to love you,” he said against her hair, still holding her so tightly, even after she’d promised not to run from him tonight.
Of course, she surprised him all over again when she wrapped her legs around his waist and held as tightly to him as he was holding her.
“Love me, Grayson.”
As he finally captured her lips, he realized she kissed the way she danced, without holding anything back. He wanted to lay her down in the grass, wanted to love her beneath the moon and the stars. But he couldn’t stand the thought of her soft skin being scratched by sticks or rocks, so even as he kissed her, he was walking back toward his truck with Lori wrapped around him.
“Riding you is so much more fun than riding a horse,” she said, laughing against his mouth.
The sound of her joy was so sweet that he couldn’t keep moving forward, couldn’t do anything but stand in the grass and wildflowers and kiss her.
“I put clean sheets on your bed today,” she informed him with a naughty little smile when he finally pulled back from her sweet lips, her gorgeous face lit by the moonlight. “Let’s go mess them up.” And then she was unwrapping her legs from around his waist, saying, “Race you to the truck,” and running off through the field.
Her long dark hair was flying out behind her as he chased her again, her limbs strong and fast as the satin of her dress tangled up in her beautiful legs, her laughter filling his heart until he was sure it was going to overflow. He reached out for her hand just as she reached back for him, and their fingers threaded together as he pulled her back into him for one more hot kiss.
He opened the passenger door of his truck for her, and this time when he helped her up, he let his hands roam across her perfect ass, which she wiggled into his palms.
“You know,” she said as he slid in behind the wheel seconds later, “I’ve never made love in a truck before.”
God, he thought as the blood rushed hotter, faster, through his veins, it was tempting. So tempting to stay right here in this dark and deserted corner where he’d parked, and drag her onto his lap, even though he had been fantasizing all week long about making love to her in his bed.
Grayson had spent the past three years controlling everything. His farm. His animals. His emotions. His needs. But now, in the span of a few seconds, it was all slipping out of his grasp.
Because the mere thought of taking Lori in his truck was so potent that he couldn’t do a damned thing to stop the Neanderthal lurking inside him from emerging to take. To claim. To possess.
By the time he had his hands on her and was dragging her onto his lap, hers were already on him, moving up his chest. “Grayson.” She breathed his name into the crook of his neck, the same place she’d licked on the ride during the storm a couple of days ago.
Though he was on the verge of ripping off her dress, when she twined her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer with desire raging heated and wild all around them, for the moment, just holding her tight was not only enough...it was more than he’d ever thought to have.
* * *
