Angelfire
Page 37

"We'l talk about this tomorrow," my mom said, putting an exhausted hand to her forehead. "You're going to be grounded."
"Mrs. Monroe," Kate interjected, stepping forward, "it was al my fault. I brought the alcohol."
My mom tsk ed. I didn't want Kate to get any of the heat. I wanted to scream that at the top of my lungs and tel everyone what had real y happened, but I couldn't, and that made me feel even crazier inside.
"I'm not your mother, Kate," my mom began, "but the same goes for you and Landon. If you need help, cal me. I don't want to have to worry about you two, either. El ie's enough to drive me insane."
Kate smiled weakly. "Thanks, Mrs. Monroe."
"Is there anyone left?" I asked, fearing the walk of shame back into my house.
"Josie and her friends went home a little while ago," Mom said. "Her mom is very worried about you. I'l have to give her a cal before I fal asleep."
I nodded and laid my cheek on Kate's shoulder. "I'm real y, really tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed."
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Kate asked.
I smiled. "Yeah, that'd be great."
I said good-bye to Landon, who hugged me again, taking a little too long for my comfort. Things would be weird between us.
Kate and I headed upstairs to my bedroom. I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas while she watched TV
in my room. When I came out, I pul ed out another pair of pajamas for her and hung my dress up, even though it was destroyed. What a waste.
"I'l hop into the shower real y quick and be right out," Kate said. "I feel so gross from dancing al night."
"Okay," I said absently, plopping down on my bed and taking up the remote to flip through channels.
A minute or two after Kate had disappeared from the bedroom, I heard a voice behind me.
"Hey," Wil said as he climbed in through my window. I jumped to my feet, mortified, my eyes popping wide.
"What are you doing in here?" I said in a raspy whisper. "I wa s joking about coming in through the windows! I can't believe you're in my room. My parents are right down the hal , and Kate could be back any minute. Not to mention my dad is crazy. What if you got caught? He has a gun, you know."
He scoffed and leaned back against the wal , crossing his arms over his chest.
"Why are you here, Wil ?" I asked, watching him careful y. He stepped forward, sucking in his upper lip for a moment. The tiny glimpse of his tongue as he did so was very distracting. "I need to tel you something."
"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" I asked as he sat down on the bed and I sat beside him.
"No, it can't. I should've told you before, but you didn't remember, and I wasn't sure when it would've been right to tel you."
"Why?" I asked impatiently. "I'm not sure there could be much else you could say to me that would shock me."
"The night you died," he said, speaking slowly. "I wasn't there."
"I know."
"You do?"
"The day before my birthday, I had a nightmare, or a memory, of my own death," I said. "I remembered looking for you. That night I wasn't real y afraid of Ragnuk. I was afraid because I didn't know where you were."
His gaze fel away, his expression pained. "I'm so sorry I couldn't reach you in time."
"Why? Why did you leave me?"
"Bastian."
"Bastian? What does he have to do with it?"
Wil looked back at me, his gaze intense and ful of agony.
"Ragnuk had been ordered to hunt you down, and Bastian's other thugs got me first. They held me and tortured me. I couldn't escape. When . . . when Ragnuk returned, I knew it was al over. He laid you down in front of me, and you were . . . you were gone. I managed to escape then, because I knew I had to live. I had to be there when you came back. You died alone, but I wouldn't let you come back alone."
"Wil ," I said, not knowing what else to say, "it's not your fault."
"But it is," he said, shaking his head. "You die over and over and over again, and I try to save you, but I always fail. It's never enough."
"Wil ," I said again, and my heart fil ed with so much sadness, I couldn't take it. My hand cupped his cheek softly. His own hand covered mine and he leaned into my palm, closing his eyes. It was the first real emotion he'd shown to me, like he was letting me see his soul for the first time. The embrace made me wonder what he truly felt beneath the stoic, battle-hardened exterior. He stayed there for so long that I lost track of time. Then swiftly, painful y, he pul ed away and stood, leaving me feeling empty and longing.
"I have to go," he said, letting his gaze fal away. "She's coming."
I said nothing back, but only stared at him as he appeared to vanish into thin air.
The next moment Kate came in through my bedroom door, rubbing a towel through her hair. "Who were you talking to?" she asked, giving me a weird look.
"Oh, no one," I said and leaped to my feet, my heart suddenly pounding as if it had missed a few beats and were trying to make up for it. I sat back down on my bed. Wil had left so quickly that I felt unfulfil ed; it seemed there was stil so much to say, but I'd have to keep it al inside. I had a feeling there was much more he wanted to say to me, too.