Angelfire
Page 96

I woke again in the bed at the motel, and within moments of my opening my eyes, Wil was leaning close to me. I pul ed the quilt tighter and leaned toward his warmth.
"Do you want to take a shower?" he asked, brushing the hair from my face.
"No." My voice cracked pitiful y. I didn't want to bring up what had happened on the ship after Bastian had left, because I was worried that it hadn't been a dream. But even if it had real y happened, what would it mean? It wasn't even conceivable. How could I be an angel?
"We have to leave in an hour for the airport. Nathaniel is returning the truck before we check out."
I examined my blood-caked skin and clothes and decided a shower was a good idea after al . I sat up slowly, zombielike, and staggered to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and undressed, turned the hot water on, and climbed in, pul ing the curtain shut. The water washed down my body, smearing blood, dirt, and unidentifiable grime. I smel ed like fish and blood. My legs gave out, and I slid down the shower wal until I sat at the bottom of the tub and the water poured over my head. I cried.
water poured over my head. I cried.
I heard a knock at the door.
A few moments later, Wil cal ed gently, "El ie?"
I said nothing.
"Do you need anything?"
I was glad he didn't ask if I was al right. If he had, I might have been too strongly tempted to rip his tongue out. I heard his back slide down the door and the soft thump as he sat down. "I know how you're feeling," he said. I stared at the rust-colored water streaking into the drain as the shower splattered me like hot rain.
"We've both felt this a mil ion times before," he continued.
"The helplessness, the desolation, the feeling--the knowing--that the end is coming. We'l get through this."
"Bastian is stil going to come for me," I said at last, my voice empty and dry. "He won't give up."
"El ie," he said, his voice firmer, "we didn't lose. Yeah, we got pretty banged up, but we won. The Enshi is at the bottom of the ocean. It would take a miracle to keep that thing intact, let alone retrieve it. As far as we know, they wouldn't even know how to open the sarcophagus and awaken it. It's destroyed and it'l never awaken."
"But Michael said that Bastian would get it back."
He was quiet for a moment. "He must be wrong. If he's not, then we wil stop Bastian before he awakens the Enshi."
Wil 's words gave me little hope. Bastian didn't have the Enshi, and we stil had a long way to go. Was whatever lay sealed inside that sarcophagus real y capable of destroying my soul? I didn't want to die, but I was more afraid of not even passing on. How did Wil and Nathaniel deal with knowing they would just end after death? If the Enshi got hold of me, what would it be like to have my soul eaten?
"El ie?"
I stood up and finished washing my hair. When I stepped out and dried off, I wrapped the towel around me. I opened the door to see Wil sitting on the other side, turning his head to look up at me. He stood and faced me, his gaze lingering on the damp cotton towel tucked tightly around me.
"I'm not finished fighting," I said shakily. "I don't want that monster to destroy my soul or anyone else's. I can't let Michael down. No price is too great to pay to prevent that."
Wil smiled, and the hope that fil ed his eyes made the glimmer inside me a little stronger. "It'l be al right," he said. He edged closer to me, and my back touched the cold wal . Though I no longer felt embarrassment around him, I did tremble the closer he got to me. I wasn't simply attracted to him the way I had been a month before. I was in love with him now, and when he was this close, the thought of him touching my bare skin stirred more than just emotions within me. When his hand touched my arm, a tremor ran through me and I sank deeper into the wal just to hold myself up. I forced out the memory of Michael's warning. I did belong to Wil . I loved him and I was his.
"I'l protect you," he said softly into my cheek. "I won't let anything happen to you."
I wanted to believe him and I tried. The horrible image of Ivar's half-torn shoulder flashed across my mind, and I looked away.
"What is it?" His face was ful of pain suddenly as he sensed my apprehension in that strange way our centuriesold bond al owed. I spoke slowly, careful y choosing my words, watching his face for a reaction. "When I came up from the hold, I saw Ivar's shoulder. Did you do that?"
His eyes held mine for a moment, the pause lasting painful y long. He chewed his upper lip and let his forehead rest against the wal next to me before he answered. "Yes."
"You almost ripped her entire arm off. How are we supposed to be things that fight for good if we can be just as terrible as the monsters we fight?"
He closed his eyes and took a breath. "A reaper's power is great. It doesn't matter who we serve, the angels or the Fal en. But it's the way we choose to use it that makes the impact. I serve you, my angel, my Gabriel, my El ie. You're stronger than I am. What I've seen you do is beyond anything I could have imagined."
My heart sank. "Don't tel me that."
"You will remember."
"I already scare the hel out of myself," I confessed. "I don't want to scare you, too."
He smiled, but just a little. "I'm used to it."
"I'm not exactly used to it." An invisible weight pressed on my shoulders, making me tired.