Animal Dreams
Page 90
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"Is there something I can do?" he asks finally. "I know she has friends in the Ministry of Agriculture. Do they know?"
"Everyone knows. Our Ministry of Agriculture, your Ministry of Agriculture." There is a pause. "You understand that this occurs every day. We're a nation of bereaved families. The only difference this time is that it happens to be an American. It happens to be Hallie." The voice weakens again, and he waits, and it goes on. "We sent a telegram to your President and the NBC. We think if they are embarrassed enough by their contras, they could do something."
If they are embarrassed enough.
"Wait. Let me take down the number where you are. So I can call you tomorrow."
"I'm in the office of a church in Managua. Nobody here knows anything. You can call the Ministry of Agriculture if you want. Or your President. He is the responsible party."
He understands that she is being as helpful as she can. She is a kind, tired voice. He doesn't want her to hang up, because then his life will begin. There is a pause while she talks to someone else who is there with her, and then she returns to him and says, "I'm sorry."
"Is there anything more? Besides waiting?"
"I'm sorry. There is nothing."
Carefully he puts down the receiver and looks at the air in front of the window in this empty room. The dust. He listens inside himself for a long time before he understands that it's the teakettle that is screaming.
Chapter 21
COSIMA
21 The Tissue of Hearts
Hallie was somebody's prisoner. Whether my eyes were open or closed, I saw her with a white cloth tied tightly over her mouth. That's the only image that would ever come.
If she couldn't scream, I did. I was in every way unreasonable, especially with the kids at school. Even at the time, I was lucid enough to be thankful that Rita had dropped out. One member of my family had already yelled at her; she didn't have to know that neither one of us had all our tires on the road.
The students had tried to be cooperative. They went to Tucson to assist the Stitch and Bitch Club, as I'd requested, and found the city to be a superb adventure. They discovered a video arcade; Raymo sweet-talked more than ten young women into buying pinatas; there were rumors that Connie Munoz gave Hector Jones a hand job in the back seat of the bus on the way home. What did I expect? They were teenagers. I knew that, but still I screamed at them because Black Mountain was poisoning their mother's milk and all they cared about was sex and a passing grade.
I had rational intentions. I talked about evapotranspiration and rain forests and oxygen in the biosphere, how everything was connected. The last virgin timber cleared and milled to make way for a continent of landfills choking on old newspapers. It was a poetic lecture. Marta made the mistake of asking me how much of this poetry was going to be on the test.
I glowered. "Your life is the test. If you flunk this one, you die."
The whole front row looked stunned. Their pens stopped moving.
"What you people learn for a test you forget the next day. That's bullshit. That's a waste of your brains and my time. If I can't teach you something you'll remember, then I haven't even been here this year." I crossed my arms and glared at them. "You kids think this pollution shit is not your problem, right? Somebody will clean up the mess. It's not your fault. Well, your attitude stinks. You're as guilty as anybody. Do you, or do you not, think the world was put here for you to use?"
Nobody was fool enough to answer. I observed during the long silence that half the kids in the room were wearing stone-washed jeans. I yanked up Hector Jones by the arm and made an example of him. I have to admit I disliked Hector partially for unfair reasons: his father was a former hoodlum named Simon Bolivar Jones who'd been noticeably unkind to me in school.
"Stand up here," I said. "Show everybody your jeans. Nice, right? Turn around. Nice ass, Hector. Wonderful jeans. They were half worn out before you bought them, right?" I smacked Hector lightly on the butt and let him sit down.
"You know how they make those? They wash them in a big machine with this special kind of gravel they get out of volcanic mountains. The prettiest mountains you ever saw in your life. But they're fragile, like a big pile of sugar. Levi Strauss or whoever goes in there with bulldozers and chainsaws and cuts down the trees and rips the mountainside to hell, so that all us lucky Americans can wear jeans that look like somebody threw them in the garbage before we got them."
"Trees grow back," Raymo said. Raymo was a brave young man.
"Everyone knows. Our Ministry of Agriculture, your Ministry of Agriculture." There is a pause. "You understand that this occurs every day. We're a nation of bereaved families. The only difference this time is that it happens to be an American. It happens to be Hallie." The voice weakens again, and he waits, and it goes on. "We sent a telegram to your President and the NBC. We think if they are embarrassed enough by their contras, they could do something."
If they are embarrassed enough.
"Wait. Let me take down the number where you are. So I can call you tomorrow."
"I'm in the office of a church in Managua. Nobody here knows anything. You can call the Ministry of Agriculture if you want. Or your President. He is the responsible party."
He understands that she is being as helpful as she can. She is a kind, tired voice. He doesn't want her to hang up, because then his life will begin. There is a pause while she talks to someone else who is there with her, and then she returns to him and says, "I'm sorry."
"Is there anything more? Besides waiting?"
"I'm sorry. There is nothing."
Carefully he puts down the receiver and looks at the air in front of the window in this empty room. The dust. He listens inside himself for a long time before he understands that it's the teakettle that is screaming.
Chapter 21
COSIMA
21 The Tissue of Hearts
Hallie was somebody's prisoner. Whether my eyes were open or closed, I saw her with a white cloth tied tightly over her mouth. That's the only image that would ever come.
If she couldn't scream, I did. I was in every way unreasonable, especially with the kids at school. Even at the time, I was lucid enough to be thankful that Rita had dropped out. One member of my family had already yelled at her; she didn't have to know that neither one of us had all our tires on the road.
The students had tried to be cooperative. They went to Tucson to assist the Stitch and Bitch Club, as I'd requested, and found the city to be a superb adventure. They discovered a video arcade; Raymo sweet-talked more than ten young women into buying pinatas; there were rumors that Connie Munoz gave Hector Jones a hand job in the back seat of the bus on the way home. What did I expect? They were teenagers. I knew that, but still I screamed at them because Black Mountain was poisoning their mother's milk and all they cared about was sex and a passing grade.
I had rational intentions. I talked about evapotranspiration and rain forests and oxygen in the biosphere, how everything was connected. The last virgin timber cleared and milled to make way for a continent of landfills choking on old newspapers. It was a poetic lecture. Marta made the mistake of asking me how much of this poetry was going to be on the test.
I glowered. "Your life is the test. If you flunk this one, you die."
The whole front row looked stunned. Their pens stopped moving.
"What you people learn for a test you forget the next day. That's bullshit. That's a waste of your brains and my time. If I can't teach you something you'll remember, then I haven't even been here this year." I crossed my arms and glared at them. "You kids think this pollution shit is not your problem, right? Somebody will clean up the mess. It's not your fault. Well, your attitude stinks. You're as guilty as anybody. Do you, or do you not, think the world was put here for you to use?"
Nobody was fool enough to answer. I observed during the long silence that half the kids in the room were wearing stone-washed jeans. I yanked up Hector Jones by the arm and made an example of him. I have to admit I disliked Hector partially for unfair reasons: his father was a former hoodlum named Simon Bolivar Jones who'd been noticeably unkind to me in school.
"Stand up here," I said. "Show everybody your jeans. Nice, right? Turn around. Nice ass, Hector. Wonderful jeans. They were half worn out before you bought them, right?" I smacked Hector lightly on the butt and let him sit down.
"You know how they make those? They wash them in a big machine with this special kind of gravel they get out of volcanic mountains. The prettiest mountains you ever saw in your life. But they're fragile, like a big pile of sugar. Levi Strauss or whoever goes in there with bulldozers and chainsaws and cuts down the trees and rips the mountainside to hell, so that all us lucky Americans can wear jeans that look like somebody threw them in the garbage before we got them."
"Trees grow back," Raymo said. Raymo was a brave young man.
