Asa
Page 40

 Jay Crownover

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I wanted to just go wait outside but figured that would be rude, so I wandered over to the fireplace and dodged Remy as she tried to tackle my knees. There were a bunch of pictures on the mantel—a few of Rule and his twin, Remy, before Remy had passed away, a bunch of the brothers and the rest of the gang from the tattoo shop. It made me happy to see that Ayden was smiling and looked really happy in every single shot she was in. There were also wedding photos and pictures of Rule and Shaw with their new baby. It was a lifetime displayed for anyone to see.
“You’ve never had a baby before. There’s a lot to learn and Shaw knows that. You and the little fella will be fine once you both start to figure things out.” Slipping into bartender advice mode was second nature and I didn’t even realize I was doing it until Rule stopped his frantic movement to stare at me.
There was some banging around in the kitchen and a few loud swearwords, then suddenly blissful silence filled the home. RJ looked up at her uncle, then to me, and clapped her little hands. She spun in a little circle and told Rule something that sounded like “all better.”
Rome came out of the kitchen with the baby. He was balancing a bottle and cooing in a deep and grumbly way that shouldn’t be soothing but apparently was to babies.
“The hole in the nipple on the bottle wasn’t big enough. He was hungry and not getting any food. He’s gonna be big and strong like all the rest of us Archers, so he needs to eat.” Rome grinned at his brother and went to hand the baby back. For a split second Rule looked like he wanted to refuse, but the emotion came and went so fast I was pretty sure I was the only one that caught it. I understood that fear.
Rule took the naked baby and settled him in the crook of his arm with a sigh. “I suck at this.”
Rome crossed his arms over his chest and leveled his brother a hard look. “No, you don’t. You need to cut yourself some slack. There is no guidebook on how to raise a kid right. It’s mostly trial and error.”
The infant gurgled up at his dad and I could swear it was Ry trying to tell his dad everything was all right. Rule lifted one of his tattooed hands and used it to softly rub over the baby’s cap of dark hair.
“I feel like I don’t get a second chance if I screw shit up.” He sounded so torn up about it that it really spoke to how much this life and this little person meant to him.
Rome walked over to where RJ was banging the remote to the TV against the floor and picked her up high over his head, making her laugh out of control.
“When we love someone there’s an endless amount of times we forgive them when they screw up. Shaw did it with you and with me. You had to figure out your issue with Mom and Dad. Thank God Cora never walked out on me when I gave her every reason to.” Rome switched his attention to me and I heard what he was saying even if he didn’t bring up Ayden’s name. “You’re gonna screw up, Rule, and so is he. You’ll both just forgive each other, keep on loving one another, and move on.” The baby let out a yawn and blinked like he was agreeing with his uncle.
Rule popped the now-empty bottle out of the baby’s mouth and shifted him to his shoulder, where he patted his back softly until a little baby belch found its way out. The baby sighed and closed his eyes.
“Thank you for coming by and not making me feel even worse than I already did.”
Rome nodded and RJ waved as we headed toward the door. I trailed behind, still caught up on the time line of love and happiness stretched out on that mantel. I don’t think Ayden and I had a single picture from our childhood. In fact the first time I could remember being in front of a camera outside of class photos in elementary school was when I got picked up for shoplifting at a gas station when I was fourteen and instead of calling the cops the store owner had snapped his own mug shot to display in a window with Do Not Serve written under it. There weren’t any snapshots of joy or happiness, which made that dark place that lurked inside me gape open even wider.
“Anytime. You know it.”
Rule rubbed a hand up and down the baby’s back and lifted his pierced eyebrow. “By the way, congratulations on the new baby …” He trailed off, leaving the “asshole” part of his statement implied in deference to the sensitive ears hovering between them.
Rome paused in pulling open the front door. “Cora told you?”
“Dude, I worked with her last time you knocked her up. I know what those mood swings and overnight double D’s mean. I’ve known for months. I was just waiting for one of you to come clean.”
Remy looked between the Archer men and widened her bright blue eyes that looked so much like her father’s. “Baby?” At least that was what I think she was saying in her own little-baby way.
Rome nodded and groaned while Rule and I laughed. “Yeah, honey, a baby.”
She just giggled and repeated the word over and over again. Rome shook his head in exasperation. “We just found out it’s a boy. Cora really wanted you and Shaw to have your moment in the new-baby sun before saying anything.”
Rule grunted and followed us out into the driveway, Ry now fully asleep and content against his chest.
“There’s enough excitement for the good things in life in this group to handle Ry and your new addition, you both shoulda known that. A boy, huh? We’re gonna run out of R names at this rate.”
Rome chuckled. “I think maybe this go around we’re gonna go with a C after Half-Pint. We’ll just have to see.”
Rome moved around the truck to get Remy situated and I moved toward the passenger side when Rule stopped me by saying my name softly.
I looked at him and was surprised at how intent and serious his icy gaze was. “You’re quick with some really good words for other people, Opie. You know just what to say and exactly how to say it. So when do you start giving yourself some of that advice?”
I frowned a little because I wasn’t following. “What do you mean?”
“I heard you finally let Royal catch you, but now that you’re on the hook, you’re flailing around like a fish out of water.”
I didn’t love how that image made me look but it was pretty damn accurate. I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck and looked down at the ground. “To be fair, I wasn’t running too far out ahead of her in the first place.”
“Doesn’t matter. Think about what you just told me. You’ve never had anything good in life before, it’s new to you, so maybe you just need to allow your own learning curve like me and the little man here. We all need a break every now and then.”