Ashes to Ashes
Page 23

 Jenny Han

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Poor thing.
The other four kids, three boys and one girl, have the energy of a full-blown mob.
“I know you want to kiss her, Benjamin,” the blond-haired boy says. “I saw you staring at her ass.”
“I was not,” the tall boy, Benjamin, says. And then he realizes that he’s been backed into the bushes that edge my property. The other kids quickly surround him. He wipes away some sweat from his temple with his sleeve.
I step between two of the boys and stand next to Benjamin. Even if he can’t see me, I hope he can feel me next to him. I hope he can tell he’s not alone.
The ringleader boy tips his head back and laughs. “Dude! I saw you do it! Are you calling me a liar?” He glances over at the girl standing next to him. “Betsy, he’s calling me a liar.”
Betsy doesn’t look all that into what’s happening, but she’s not exactly stopping it either. She just shrugs her shoulders.
“I’m not calling you a liar, Seth,” Benjamin says carefully. “I’m just saying that you’re wrong.”
Seth slings an arm over Betsy’s shoulder. “So if Betsy tried to kiss you, you wouldn’t do it?”
“No.”
Betsy rolls her eyes at that, and I feel the pang of hurt inside Benjamin. My hand goes to my chest, where my heart would be beating if I were alive. I can really, truly feel it. His hurt, as if it were my own. I’ve felt this way before. The first day of school when I hid in the bathroom. Kat and Lillia were both so upset, their pain radiating through the stall door.
Seth lowers his head menacingly. “So you’re saying that my girlfriend is ugly?”
“No! I’m not saying that!” Benjamin is clearly getting frustrated, and I don’t blame him. “I wouldn’t kiss her because I know Betsy’s your girlfriend.”
Seth nods to the other two boys, who suddenly produce a bunch of folded papers from their pockets. Seth takes them and holds them up, two fists full. “Then why have you been writing her love notes?”
Before he can stop himself, Benjamin looks at Betsy, slack-jawed. Like, Why? Why would you do that?
I grit my teeth. The sky darkens above us, and the wind picks up.
He pleads with Seth, “She started writing to me first!”
Seth nods. “Um, yeah, you dope. Because I told her to. We wanted to see what you would say.”
I glance at Betsy, to see if she feels even a little bit bad about what she’s done, the trouble she’s caused Benjamin, but she’s shaking her head. “Ben, I only wrote you, like, twice, and they were barely half a page. You wrote me every day, pages and pages. You’ve been obsessed with me since first grade. You even said so.”
I feel the heat behind Benjamin’s eyes that comes right before tears. His lip begins to quiver.
Don’t cry, I tell him silently, and every muscle in my body tightens up. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. They are evil. They aren’t worth your tears.
“Oh my God, look!” Seth sounds gleeful. “Crybaby’s going to cry!” He steps closer and closer to Benjamin.
I can taste it. The desperation, the humiliation. The feeling of being so alone. It’s sharp and acrid on my tongue.
I narrow my eyes on Seth and push my arm out fast. That’s all it takes for Seth to fall backward. He hits the ground hard and cracks the back of his head on the curb. It makes a sickening sound. His hands both open up, and the letters fall out.
The other boys look as shocked as he is.
I glance behind me at the tree in my yard. The sky gets darker, and the wind kicks up even more, and the bare branches above us shake and shake.
“You guys!” one of the other boys shouts. “The tree’s about to fall!”
Using my mind, I push harder and harder against the tree. The ground buckles.
“Look out!” someone shouts as the roots burst up through the dirt. Betsy screams, and the boys help Seth up and out of the way before the tree creaks over and snaps in half. The entire thing smashes through the bushes and falls across the street. That sends neighbors running out of their houses.
Benjamin looks behind him. He sees me, and his eyes go wide and scared.
He can actually see me. Just like Lillia and Kat in the bathroom.
“Don’t be afraid!” I call out. “I’m here to help you!” I will help him, because there was no one there to help me.
He takes a step backward, and then another, practically tripping over his sneakers. “Thank you,” he gasps. And then he turns and runs down the street.
“Let’s get out of here,” Betsy says, and turns to hurry down the street in the opposite direction. I lift my hand once more and use my energy to knock her forward, facedown onto the street.
She’s as guilty as the rest of them.
She screams. The boys pick her up. Betsy’s bleeding from the mouth, crying. And her hands are bright red and cut as well. She spits a tooth out into her hand.
Not so pretty anymore, are you, Betsy?
As they disappear around the corner, I realize it. This is my purpose. This is why I’m here on Jar Island. I am an avenger. An avenging angel sent down to right wrongs.
I am not weak.
I am powerful. More powerful than I know.
Me, Kat, and Lillia, we weren’t ever supposed to be a team. All along it has been my responsibility and mine alone. My purpose.
It’s why I’m drawn to Reeve. Because I have a job to do, a score to settle. And once I do, I’ll finally be free.
Chapter Twenty
LILLIA
FOR THE REST OF THE day, Alex is all I think about. I have to talk to him. I have to tell him how sorry I am.
I leave my last class a few minutes early, before the bell rings, and I race over to his class and wait outside the door. When Alex walks out, I’m standing there waiting. I feel clammy and dizzy.
His face hardens and he keeps walking. I run up to him and grab his arm. “Alex, please talk to me!”
He jerks out of my grasp. “There’s nothing to talk about.” And then he walks away, and I just stand there, my arms hugging my chest.
I’m still standing in the same place when Reeve appears next to me. “Are you okay?” he asks, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“Yes.”
Reeve looks down the hallway, in the direction where Alex walked. “I’m the dick, not you. I was his best friend. I knew how he felt about you. You’re the only girl he’s ever wanted. There’s a guy code, you know?”
I know, because there’s a girl code too, and I did the same exact thing to Rennie.