“I don’t get it. Danner said she’d send it in after the benefit.”
“Did anything happen that would make her rethink giving you a recommendation?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?” she asks again, all distrusting.
“I swear, I’ve been a freaking saint. A perfect volunteer.”
Ms. Chirazo leans back in her creaky chair. “Between this and the smoking, it’s almost like you’re trying to sabotage your chances at Oberlin.”
I shake my head emphatically. “No! I want off this island more than you know.” Except, when I say the words, I know that’s not true. I mean, I’m going to college, obviously. But after spring break, I don’t know. I was actually excited to see Jar Island again, to be home with Pat and Dad, to come to school today.
It’s crazy.
“Well, you’re almost out of time, Kat.” She points at the calendar. “That letter needs to be postmarked today if you want it included in your application. They make all their final decisions by April fifteenth.”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m on it.”
Chapter Forty-One
LILLIA
WHEN I DROVE INTO THE school parking lot this morning, there he was. Waiting for me right out front by the doors. He looked for my necklace, which I wasn’t wearing. I tried to hurry past, but he stopped me and begged me to talk to him. To let him try to explain. I kept shaking my head, and by the end of it we were both crying. Alex walked by, and I could tell he was wondering what was going on, but he kept going. The bell rang and Reeve finally let me go, but then when I walk out of first period, there he is again.
“Cho, I’m begging you,” he says. “Please, for God’s sake, talk to me.”
“I already told you I don’t want to talk to you.”
He throws his head back in frustration. “Fuck! I love you, Cho. And you love me, so let’s just—let’s just go somewhere and figure it out!”
People are slowing down and looking. They’re looking at us. I grip my books harder. “There’s nothing to figure out! Just leave me alone!” I start walking away, and Reeve runs in front of me and blocks my path. “Get out of my way,” I say.
“No. Not until we talk!”
“You never want to talk, and now all of a sudden you want to talk. Well, it’s too late, okay?” I try to move around him, but he blocks my way again.
I see Alex walking in our direction, and I think he’s just going to keep going, but then he stops short. “Dude, let her go,” he says.
Reeve’s eyes practically go black. “It was you, wasn’t it? You told her. You shady piece-of-shit motherfucker.”
“What are you talking—”
And then Reeve punches Alex in the face, so hard that Alex goes stumbling backward.
I scream, and then I run over to Alex. His nose is bleeding freely, he’s holding his arm to his face, and the blood is soaking through his shirt. “Oh my God, Alex. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I say. My hands are shaking as I fumble in my bag for a tissue, and then I try to wipe up his face, but he moves away from me.
“You’re crazy!” he yells at Reeve.
Mr. Mayurnik is already hustling Reeve away to the principal’s office.
“I’m so sorry,” I keep saying, over and over.
Chapter Forty-Two
MARY
FOR THE REST OF THE day, the fight is all anyone can talk about. I roam the halls, eavesdropping on whispered conversations, looking over the shoulders of people writing texts. Reeve sucker-punched his former best friend. Obviously Lillia was involved somehow.
But no one can figure out why.
There are plenty of guesses. Reeve cheated on Lillia. Lillia cheated on Reeve with Alex. Her father said he wasn’t good enough for her.
Every guess is bad. But not as bad as the truth.
* * *
Ashlin always asks to go to the bathroom near the end of her senior English class, which is the period right before her lunch. I know because I’ve been watching her for a few days. You’d think Mr. Malone, the teacher, would wise up or at least tell her no when he’s in the middle of discussing a passage, but he never does. I think he has a crush on her. Whenever he has the students read quietly at their desks, I’ve caught him peering over his newspaper at her. And one time, as he was walking up and down the aisles handing back a quiz, I swear I saw him peek down her shirt.
Gross.
Anyway, Ashlin spends a good fifteen minutes at the mirror fussing with her hair and touching up her makeup. She wants to make sure she looks her best, because the second the bell rings, she’s off to meet up with Derek at his locker so they can walk to the cafeteria together.
She’s in love with him. I know it because of the way she acts around him, nervous. I can feel her heart beating faster whenever he’s near her, fast like a hummingbird’s. And her speaking voice gets a lot higher pitched. And because her notebooks are full of his name, doodled over and over again. Ashlin is very good at bubble letters.
Unfortunately for her, Derek doesn’t feel the same way about her. He flirts with her and holds her hand, and he’ll sometimes carry her books for her. But I also know Derek sneaks notes to other girls in school, mainly freshmen and sophomores. He gets lots of texts from other girls too, but deletes them right away. I wasn’t sure why, but then I saw Ashlin take his phone and check it once, when he went to get a drink.
Derek is shady. Just like Reeve.
Which makes Ashlin and me kindred spirits in a way.
When an emotional connection is forged with a spirit, the apparition will reveal him- or herself in his or her most vibrant state, one that is indistinguishable from the living.
I wait in the last stall until Ashlin comes in. She pulls a paper towel from the dispenser and lays it on the sink before setting her purse down, to make sure it doesn’t get wet.
I close my eyes and concentrate really hard. I focus on Ash’s insecurities until I can feel them inside myself. It’s like two notes, and I make myself in harmony with her. It reminds me of that first time I met Kat and Lillia; it feels like that. Like we are completely in harmony with each other.
Then, when I open my eyes, everything around me seems brighter. The white porcelain of the toilet, the graffiti on the stall walls, the light coming through the frosted window.
I’m visible.
I step out of the stall, and Ashlin’s eyes move off her reflection in the mirror and onto me.
“Did anything happen that would make her rethink giving you a recommendation?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?” she asks again, all distrusting.
“I swear, I’ve been a freaking saint. A perfect volunteer.”
Ms. Chirazo leans back in her creaky chair. “Between this and the smoking, it’s almost like you’re trying to sabotage your chances at Oberlin.”
I shake my head emphatically. “No! I want off this island more than you know.” Except, when I say the words, I know that’s not true. I mean, I’m going to college, obviously. But after spring break, I don’t know. I was actually excited to see Jar Island again, to be home with Pat and Dad, to come to school today.
It’s crazy.
“Well, you’re almost out of time, Kat.” She points at the calendar. “That letter needs to be postmarked today if you want it included in your application. They make all their final decisions by April fifteenth.”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m on it.”
Chapter Forty-One
LILLIA
WHEN I DROVE INTO THE school parking lot this morning, there he was. Waiting for me right out front by the doors. He looked for my necklace, which I wasn’t wearing. I tried to hurry past, but he stopped me and begged me to talk to him. To let him try to explain. I kept shaking my head, and by the end of it we were both crying. Alex walked by, and I could tell he was wondering what was going on, but he kept going. The bell rang and Reeve finally let me go, but then when I walk out of first period, there he is again.
“Cho, I’m begging you,” he says. “Please, for God’s sake, talk to me.”
“I already told you I don’t want to talk to you.”
He throws his head back in frustration. “Fuck! I love you, Cho. And you love me, so let’s just—let’s just go somewhere and figure it out!”
People are slowing down and looking. They’re looking at us. I grip my books harder. “There’s nothing to figure out! Just leave me alone!” I start walking away, and Reeve runs in front of me and blocks my path. “Get out of my way,” I say.
“No. Not until we talk!”
“You never want to talk, and now all of a sudden you want to talk. Well, it’s too late, okay?” I try to move around him, but he blocks my way again.
I see Alex walking in our direction, and I think he’s just going to keep going, but then he stops short. “Dude, let her go,” he says.
Reeve’s eyes practically go black. “It was you, wasn’t it? You told her. You shady piece-of-shit motherfucker.”
“What are you talking—”
And then Reeve punches Alex in the face, so hard that Alex goes stumbling backward.
I scream, and then I run over to Alex. His nose is bleeding freely, he’s holding his arm to his face, and the blood is soaking through his shirt. “Oh my God, Alex. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I say. My hands are shaking as I fumble in my bag for a tissue, and then I try to wipe up his face, but he moves away from me.
“You’re crazy!” he yells at Reeve.
Mr. Mayurnik is already hustling Reeve away to the principal’s office.
“I’m so sorry,” I keep saying, over and over.
Chapter Forty-Two
MARY
FOR THE REST OF THE day, the fight is all anyone can talk about. I roam the halls, eavesdropping on whispered conversations, looking over the shoulders of people writing texts. Reeve sucker-punched his former best friend. Obviously Lillia was involved somehow.
But no one can figure out why.
There are plenty of guesses. Reeve cheated on Lillia. Lillia cheated on Reeve with Alex. Her father said he wasn’t good enough for her.
Every guess is bad. But not as bad as the truth.
* * *
Ashlin always asks to go to the bathroom near the end of her senior English class, which is the period right before her lunch. I know because I’ve been watching her for a few days. You’d think Mr. Malone, the teacher, would wise up or at least tell her no when he’s in the middle of discussing a passage, but he never does. I think he has a crush on her. Whenever he has the students read quietly at their desks, I’ve caught him peering over his newspaper at her. And one time, as he was walking up and down the aisles handing back a quiz, I swear I saw him peek down her shirt.
Gross.
Anyway, Ashlin spends a good fifteen minutes at the mirror fussing with her hair and touching up her makeup. She wants to make sure she looks her best, because the second the bell rings, she’s off to meet up with Derek at his locker so they can walk to the cafeteria together.
She’s in love with him. I know it because of the way she acts around him, nervous. I can feel her heart beating faster whenever he’s near her, fast like a hummingbird’s. And her speaking voice gets a lot higher pitched. And because her notebooks are full of his name, doodled over and over again. Ashlin is very good at bubble letters.
Unfortunately for her, Derek doesn’t feel the same way about her. He flirts with her and holds her hand, and he’ll sometimes carry her books for her. But I also know Derek sneaks notes to other girls in school, mainly freshmen and sophomores. He gets lots of texts from other girls too, but deletes them right away. I wasn’t sure why, but then I saw Ashlin take his phone and check it once, when he went to get a drink.
Derek is shady. Just like Reeve.
Which makes Ashlin and me kindred spirits in a way.
When an emotional connection is forged with a spirit, the apparition will reveal him- or herself in his or her most vibrant state, one that is indistinguishable from the living.
I wait in the last stall until Ashlin comes in. She pulls a paper towel from the dispenser and lays it on the sink before setting her purse down, to make sure it doesn’t get wet.
I close my eyes and concentrate really hard. I focus on Ash’s insecurities until I can feel them inside myself. It’s like two notes, and I make myself in harmony with her. It reminds me of that first time I met Kat and Lillia; it feels like that. Like we are completely in harmony with each other.
Then, when I open my eyes, everything around me seems brighter. The white porcelain of the toilet, the graffiti on the stall walls, the light coming through the frosted window.
I’m visible.
I step out of the stall, and Ashlin’s eyes move off her reflection in the mirror and onto me.
