At this news, Kate moved into me.
But my Keira, she moved into Vinnie.
He seemed startled for a second as she got close. His eyes had been staring at the picture, his mind elsewhere. Then he smiled a sad smile at Keira and slid his arm around her shoulders, his eyes coming to me.
“You never forget, cara,” he whispered, knowing my pain, I felt the tears sting my eyes and Kate pressed in closer. “But, with time, you learn you don’t want to.”
I nodded and, silent as usual, Joe moved in behind me, his arm sliding around my stomach, pulling me and Kate into his front, another something I didn’t fight because at that moment, I couldn’t.
“Thanks, Vinnie,” I whispered.
“You wanna talk, cara, have Cal give you my number,” he offered.
I nodded.
“I mean that, Vi,” he told me.
“Thank you.” I was still whispering.
“We’ll come down and visit soon, yes?” Theresa chimed in and I looked at her, instantly forgetting my lovely moment with Vinnie and feeling panic.
“Yeah, Aunt Theresa, that’d be good,” Joe replied, Theresa beamed and my stomach dropped. “Gotta get them home,” Joe finished, moving us to the door.
“I’ll get Mom’s purse,” Keira said then she started to move away, stopped, turned into Vinnie, gave him a hug around the middle with her cheek at his chest, tore free and started to run to our booth.
Vinnie’s eyes watched her go then they went to Joe and the gentle and content look in them made my stomach drop more.
“Don’t forget Mom’s shoes, Keirry!” Kate called. “They’re on the floor.”
“Gotcha,” Keira yelled back like they’d often been honored guests, family stopping for dinner at Uncle Vinnie’s pizzeria and they could yell at each other and run through the restaurant.
We waited for her to get back and all of them, sans Benny who was sorting out his kitchen after Vinnie had let loose in it again, walked us out to the car. We got big hugs from Vinnie, Manny and Theresa then the girls piled into the car.
As Joe opened his side after getting another back pounding from Vinnie, Vinnie still with him, their hands in a grip, Vinnie close and talking about something that looked serious but I couldn’t quite hear; Theresa caught my attention by catching my hand.
“Next time you’re here,” she started and my heart clenched because I knew there wasn’t going to be a next time, “when it’s a good time, a happy time, one you wanna remember, we’ll get your photo. Put you and the girls on the wall with the rest of the family.”
“Theresa –” I began, not knowing what to say and again pissed at Cal for putting me in that position at the same time confused why in the hell he would.
She squeezed my hand, cutting me off and whispering, “Bring him back to his family soon, yeah, cara mia?”
Shit.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. I mean, what could I do?
“Thank you,” she replied, kissed my cheek then stepped out of my door.
I turned to look at Joe who was staring down at his uncle. I saw, somewhat astonished, that Joe’s face was set tight. Vinnie’s face was pale and, I gawked, angry.
What was that all about?
“You get what I’m sayin’ to you?” I heard Joe ask quietly.
“I get it, son,” Vinnie’s voice was tense.
“Whatever it takes,” Joe finished, I knew this was the finish for I saw Vinnie nod once, his hand jerked Joe’s and then he clapped him on the shoulder, let his hand go and stepped away.
I thought I imagined the look on his face, his tense voice, when Vinnie looked at me and gave me a gentle smile.
“See you soon, Vi,” he called.
“Yeah,” I said again because there was nothing else to say.
I climbed in, Joe folded in, we slammed our doors and the girls and I waved at Vinnie, Theresa and Manny as Joe pulled away.
I thought, nursing my anger, there was no way I’d fall asleep.
But breadsticks, antipasto, great pizza, delicious cheesecake, a full bottle of wine and a weird and emotional day got the better of me and I passed out before we were out of Chicago.
I woke up with Joe’s hand at my knee, his mouth at my ear.
“Wake up, baby.”
My eyes fluttered open and I saw we were home and he was bent into my open door.
“The girls are out,” he went on and I turned to see this was true. “Get out, buddy,” he finished gently.
I exited the car and moved out of the way as Joe pushed the seat forward and then bent in. Seconds later, he moved out again with Keira in his arms.
“I get her to bed, you can deal with her, yeah?” Joe asked but didn’t wait for me to answer; he was striding to the door.
I fumbled with my purse, pulled out the remote, hitting the buttons then lamely hustled around him and unlocked it, pushing open the door as he walked through.
I tried not to let this affect me, Joe carrying Keira to bed, but it did, strong, hard, a sock to the gut, but a weirdly warm one and, even partly asleep and it being the middle of the night, it still pissed me off.
I hurried after them as best I could on my foot, catching up to them in Keira’s room after Joe had put Keira on her bed and Joe walked by me as I walked into her room. His eyes caught mine but he kept going and I closed the door halfway and went to my daughter who always slept like a log. I took off her shoes and struggled with her dress, so much she half-woke. Helping her, we got on her pjs and I pulled back the covers.
“Where’s Joe?” she mumbled sleepily as she settled in and I heard movement outside, footsteps, Joe and Kate.
“He’s bringing Kate in.”
Keira rolled to her side, her hands going under her cheek as she asked, mostly still asleep, “Do we have him back?”
That hit me too, a sock to the gut.
“No, baby,” I answered honestly but she didn’t hear me, she was asleep.
I pulled the covers over her, tucked them around and then bent and kissed her hair.
Then I moved out, saw Kate’s door closed and I went to it, knocking softly and going in at her call.
“Hey Mawdy,” she said, I’d caught her with her knee in the bed, she’d already changed. “Joe helped me in,” she finished as she collapsed in bed and pulled up the covers.
I moved to her and tucked them tight all around.
Then I slid her hair away from her face. “That’s good.”
“I asked him to sleep on the couch, like Mike,” she told me and I felt my body freeze then I forced it to move and I bent and kissed her hair.
But my Keira, she moved into Vinnie.
He seemed startled for a second as she got close. His eyes had been staring at the picture, his mind elsewhere. Then he smiled a sad smile at Keira and slid his arm around her shoulders, his eyes coming to me.
“You never forget, cara,” he whispered, knowing my pain, I felt the tears sting my eyes and Kate pressed in closer. “But, with time, you learn you don’t want to.”
I nodded and, silent as usual, Joe moved in behind me, his arm sliding around my stomach, pulling me and Kate into his front, another something I didn’t fight because at that moment, I couldn’t.
“Thanks, Vinnie,” I whispered.
“You wanna talk, cara, have Cal give you my number,” he offered.
I nodded.
“I mean that, Vi,” he told me.
“Thank you.” I was still whispering.
“We’ll come down and visit soon, yes?” Theresa chimed in and I looked at her, instantly forgetting my lovely moment with Vinnie and feeling panic.
“Yeah, Aunt Theresa, that’d be good,” Joe replied, Theresa beamed and my stomach dropped. “Gotta get them home,” Joe finished, moving us to the door.
“I’ll get Mom’s purse,” Keira said then she started to move away, stopped, turned into Vinnie, gave him a hug around the middle with her cheek at his chest, tore free and started to run to our booth.
Vinnie’s eyes watched her go then they went to Joe and the gentle and content look in them made my stomach drop more.
“Don’t forget Mom’s shoes, Keirry!” Kate called. “They’re on the floor.”
“Gotcha,” Keira yelled back like they’d often been honored guests, family stopping for dinner at Uncle Vinnie’s pizzeria and they could yell at each other and run through the restaurant.
We waited for her to get back and all of them, sans Benny who was sorting out his kitchen after Vinnie had let loose in it again, walked us out to the car. We got big hugs from Vinnie, Manny and Theresa then the girls piled into the car.
As Joe opened his side after getting another back pounding from Vinnie, Vinnie still with him, their hands in a grip, Vinnie close and talking about something that looked serious but I couldn’t quite hear; Theresa caught my attention by catching my hand.
“Next time you’re here,” she started and my heart clenched because I knew there wasn’t going to be a next time, “when it’s a good time, a happy time, one you wanna remember, we’ll get your photo. Put you and the girls on the wall with the rest of the family.”
“Theresa –” I began, not knowing what to say and again pissed at Cal for putting me in that position at the same time confused why in the hell he would.
She squeezed my hand, cutting me off and whispering, “Bring him back to his family soon, yeah, cara mia?”
Shit.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. I mean, what could I do?
“Thank you,” she replied, kissed my cheek then stepped out of my door.
I turned to look at Joe who was staring down at his uncle. I saw, somewhat astonished, that Joe’s face was set tight. Vinnie’s face was pale and, I gawked, angry.
What was that all about?
“You get what I’m sayin’ to you?” I heard Joe ask quietly.
“I get it, son,” Vinnie’s voice was tense.
“Whatever it takes,” Joe finished, I knew this was the finish for I saw Vinnie nod once, his hand jerked Joe’s and then he clapped him on the shoulder, let his hand go and stepped away.
I thought I imagined the look on his face, his tense voice, when Vinnie looked at me and gave me a gentle smile.
“See you soon, Vi,” he called.
“Yeah,” I said again because there was nothing else to say.
I climbed in, Joe folded in, we slammed our doors and the girls and I waved at Vinnie, Theresa and Manny as Joe pulled away.
I thought, nursing my anger, there was no way I’d fall asleep.
But breadsticks, antipasto, great pizza, delicious cheesecake, a full bottle of wine and a weird and emotional day got the better of me and I passed out before we were out of Chicago.
I woke up with Joe’s hand at my knee, his mouth at my ear.
“Wake up, baby.”
My eyes fluttered open and I saw we were home and he was bent into my open door.
“The girls are out,” he went on and I turned to see this was true. “Get out, buddy,” he finished gently.
I exited the car and moved out of the way as Joe pushed the seat forward and then bent in. Seconds later, he moved out again with Keira in his arms.
“I get her to bed, you can deal with her, yeah?” Joe asked but didn’t wait for me to answer; he was striding to the door.
I fumbled with my purse, pulled out the remote, hitting the buttons then lamely hustled around him and unlocked it, pushing open the door as he walked through.
I tried not to let this affect me, Joe carrying Keira to bed, but it did, strong, hard, a sock to the gut, but a weirdly warm one and, even partly asleep and it being the middle of the night, it still pissed me off.
I hurried after them as best I could on my foot, catching up to them in Keira’s room after Joe had put Keira on her bed and Joe walked by me as I walked into her room. His eyes caught mine but he kept going and I closed the door halfway and went to my daughter who always slept like a log. I took off her shoes and struggled with her dress, so much she half-woke. Helping her, we got on her pjs and I pulled back the covers.
“Where’s Joe?” she mumbled sleepily as she settled in and I heard movement outside, footsteps, Joe and Kate.
“He’s bringing Kate in.”
Keira rolled to her side, her hands going under her cheek as she asked, mostly still asleep, “Do we have him back?”
That hit me too, a sock to the gut.
“No, baby,” I answered honestly but she didn’t hear me, she was asleep.
I pulled the covers over her, tucked them around and then bent and kissed her hair.
Then I moved out, saw Kate’s door closed and I went to it, knocking softly and going in at her call.
“Hey Mawdy,” she said, I’d caught her with her knee in the bed, she’d already changed. “Joe helped me in,” she finished as she collapsed in bed and pulled up the covers.
I moved to her and tucked them tight all around.
Then I slid her hair away from her face. “That’s good.”
“I asked him to sleep on the couch, like Mike,” she told me and I felt my body freeze then I forced it to move and I bent and kissed her hair.
