Bad Rep
Page 108
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And then he turned and walked out the door and out of my life. For good this time. Because I knew without a doubt that Jordan Levitt was done. There would be no begging or pleading for me to come back to him. What we had was over.
I stood there, stock still, unable to move. “You stupid, stupid, idiot,” Riley muttered before resuming her task. I had nothing to say. So I ran back down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door. Throwing myself on my bed, I burrowed under the covers, never wanting to get up again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Picking yourself up after hitting rock bottom is a daunting task. One that I wasn't entirely sure I was capable of. After my relationship with Jordan tanked so miserably, I was stuck in this strange holding pattern. Caught in the vicious cycle of avoidance and denial, I tried to sleep my life away, refusing to get up for class and only rarely to eat.
After two weeks of this, Gracie, Vivian and Riley held an intervention. They each informed me that if I didn't snap out of it, they would personally call my parents and send me home with a one way bus ticket.
That had done it. I may have been clinically depressed but hell if I'd be depressed at home. Heck, I'd probably off myself just to get out of seeing my parent's wonderful disapproval. So I sucked it up for my friends' sake and slowly rejoined the land of the living.
It was rough. It took time. But gradually I started reintegrating myself back into society. It was early November already. School would be breaking for Thanksgiving soon and then after that our month long winter holiday. I was planning to go home with Riley for Thanksgiving, not that my parents seemed to be bothered that I wouldn't be heading to South Carolina for the holidays.
I started to find things to look forward to again. I got my act together and started working my tail off in my classes. I think I spent more time in the library than anywhere else for the next few weeks. I stopped hiding out in my apartment. I stopped hiding all together.
Sure, the looks hadn't stopped. I still heard the whispers but I was working really hard on not letting them drive me any more insane than they already had. Living in a fish bowl was uncomfortable but that was the price you pay for notoriety.
The Chi Delta girls continued to treat me as though I had the plague. And I knew for a fact that they were the biggest culprits in keeping the rumors circulating. I would have thought that after being disgracefully kicked out of my sorority and ending things with the resident heartthrob himself, it would have cooled things a bit. But Olivia and Milla still threw daggers whenever they could.
Trying to be the bigger person was quickly getting on my nerves. Whiny, pathetic Maysie had to take a hike. Because bad ass, low bullshit tolerance, Maysie was back in force. It sucked that it took losing Jordan for me to realize that life was too short to worry so much about what everyone else thought. That what I thought was what truly mattered. But it was a lesson better learned now than not at all.
So I was taking my life back. One nasty look at a time.
Up first, the pretentious duo in my Shakespeare and Chaucer class, aka Cyndy and Aimee. We continued to have to work in our assigned groups for class assignments and they still treated me like I was something they scrapped off the bottom of their shoes. Their looks of disgust and pointed glares, while before would have made me want to curl into a ball, now just pissed me off.
Charlie had at least stopped his outright leering. But it did little to alleviate the awkwardness within the group. One afternoon we were working on a group essay that had to be completed by the end of class. I was writing down ideas the others were tossing around when Cyndy clicked her tongue in annoyance.
I looked up and raised my eyebrows. “Yes?” I asked less than patiently. Cyndy slid a look to Aimee who smirked.
“I didn't say anything about using the theme of time and seasons in the Knight's Tale. I think that's a little obvious for this class. You know, something you'd find in SparksNotes or something.” Aimee snickered at Cyndy's dig.
Charlie looked uncomfortable but didn't say anything. I gritted my teeth and held out my pen. “Would you prefer to write this stuff down? I mean since your ideas are so superior to mine,” I said with sarcastic politeness.
Cyndy widened her eyes in mock surprise. “I'm not trying to be rude or anything, Maysie. I mean, I know that's probably the best you can come up with. But some of us take this class seriously and would like a passing grade.” She gave me a patronizing smile.
I slowly put the pen down on my desk and folded my hands over the paper. I leveled both Cyndy and Aimee with a hard look. “Okay. It's no big mystery that you don't like me,” I began.
Cyndy peered down her nose at me. “Yeah, no mystery there,” she said condescendingly.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, let me try this again. I really don't give a f**k what you think about me. Sorry that I actually have a life that involves a bit more than sitting on my couch, eating ice cream and watching PBS while pontificating to my only friend about how morally superior I think I am. See, some of us live our lives and enjoy them. If you spent as much time actually getting to know people instead of judging them, you'd find that you're no better than anyone else. So you tell me why in the hell would I waste one second of my time worrying if two sad and lonely bitches liked me? And, let me make myself crystal clear. If you have nothing more to offer this group than your bad attitudes, then you can do Charlie and I a favor and keep your mouths shut. Because some of us would like to do our work and spend less time listening to your condescending bullshit.” I gave them both a bright smile before turning to Charlie, who sat there with his mouth hanging open.
I stood there, stock still, unable to move. “You stupid, stupid, idiot,” Riley muttered before resuming her task. I had nothing to say. So I ran back down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door. Throwing myself on my bed, I burrowed under the covers, never wanting to get up again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Picking yourself up after hitting rock bottom is a daunting task. One that I wasn't entirely sure I was capable of. After my relationship with Jordan tanked so miserably, I was stuck in this strange holding pattern. Caught in the vicious cycle of avoidance and denial, I tried to sleep my life away, refusing to get up for class and only rarely to eat.
After two weeks of this, Gracie, Vivian and Riley held an intervention. They each informed me that if I didn't snap out of it, they would personally call my parents and send me home with a one way bus ticket.
That had done it. I may have been clinically depressed but hell if I'd be depressed at home. Heck, I'd probably off myself just to get out of seeing my parent's wonderful disapproval. So I sucked it up for my friends' sake and slowly rejoined the land of the living.
It was rough. It took time. But gradually I started reintegrating myself back into society. It was early November already. School would be breaking for Thanksgiving soon and then after that our month long winter holiday. I was planning to go home with Riley for Thanksgiving, not that my parents seemed to be bothered that I wouldn't be heading to South Carolina for the holidays.
I started to find things to look forward to again. I got my act together and started working my tail off in my classes. I think I spent more time in the library than anywhere else for the next few weeks. I stopped hiding out in my apartment. I stopped hiding all together.
Sure, the looks hadn't stopped. I still heard the whispers but I was working really hard on not letting them drive me any more insane than they already had. Living in a fish bowl was uncomfortable but that was the price you pay for notoriety.
The Chi Delta girls continued to treat me as though I had the plague. And I knew for a fact that they were the biggest culprits in keeping the rumors circulating. I would have thought that after being disgracefully kicked out of my sorority and ending things with the resident heartthrob himself, it would have cooled things a bit. But Olivia and Milla still threw daggers whenever they could.
Trying to be the bigger person was quickly getting on my nerves. Whiny, pathetic Maysie had to take a hike. Because bad ass, low bullshit tolerance, Maysie was back in force. It sucked that it took losing Jordan for me to realize that life was too short to worry so much about what everyone else thought. That what I thought was what truly mattered. But it was a lesson better learned now than not at all.
So I was taking my life back. One nasty look at a time.
Up first, the pretentious duo in my Shakespeare and Chaucer class, aka Cyndy and Aimee. We continued to have to work in our assigned groups for class assignments and they still treated me like I was something they scrapped off the bottom of their shoes. Their looks of disgust and pointed glares, while before would have made me want to curl into a ball, now just pissed me off.
Charlie had at least stopped his outright leering. But it did little to alleviate the awkwardness within the group. One afternoon we were working on a group essay that had to be completed by the end of class. I was writing down ideas the others were tossing around when Cyndy clicked her tongue in annoyance.
I looked up and raised my eyebrows. “Yes?” I asked less than patiently. Cyndy slid a look to Aimee who smirked.
“I didn't say anything about using the theme of time and seasons in the Knight's Tale. I think that's a little obvious for this class. You know, something you'd find in SparksNotes or something.” Aimee snickered at Cyndy's dig.
Charlie looked uncomfortable but didn't say anything. I gritted my teeth and held out my pen. “Would you prefer to write this stuff down? I mean since your ideas are so superior to mine,” I said with sarcastic politeness.
Cyndy widened her eyes in mock surprise. “I'm not trying to be rude or anything, Maysie. I mean, I know that's probably the best you can come up with. But some of us take this class seriously and would like a passing grade.” She gave me a patronizing smile.
I slowly put the pen down on my desk and folded my hands over the paper. I leveled both Cyndy and Aimee with a hard look. “Okay. It's no big mystery that you don't like me,” I began.
Cyndy peered down her nose at me. “Yeah, no mystery there,” she said condescendingly.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, let me try this again. I really don't give a f**k what you think about me. Sorry that I actually have a life that involves a bit more than sitting on my couch, eating ice cream and watching PBS while pontificating to my only friend about how morally superior I think I am. See, some of us live our lives and enjoy them. If you spent as much time actually getting to know people instead of judging them, you'd find that you're no better than anyone else. So you tell me why in the hell would I waste one second of my time worrying if two sad and lonely bitches liked me? And, let me make myself crystal clear. If you have nothing more to offer this group than your bad attitudes, then you can do Charlie and I a favor and keep your mouths shut. Because some of us would like to do our work and spend less time listening to your condescending bullshit.” I gave them both a bright smile before turning to Charlie, who sat there with his mouth hanging open.
