Bad Rep
Page 57
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I bit my lip to stop the tears and squeezed my eyes shut. “You text me telling me that you want to talk. I text back. And then I hear nothing. And then the whole time I'm dealing with the fact that most of my sisters now hate my guts and everyone is talking about what a skank I am. You've been miserable? Give me a damn break.” I couldn't stop the traitorous tears that escaped behind my closed eyelids.
I furiously wiped them away, hating the show of weakness in front of Jordan. I bowed my head refusing to look at him. There was absolute silence between us. I was acutely aware of Jordan's breathing and my heart pounded in my chest so hard that I was surprised it didn't come flying out and smack him in the face.
Then I felt his hands on my upper arms. His thumbs caressed my bare skin and I loathed how much I loved it. He tilted my chin so that I was looking at him. His eyes were sad as he stared down at me. “Maysie, I had no idea...” I barked out a laugh.
“Have you been living under a rock?” Jordan frowned.
“No, Garrett's house, actually. I haven't been back to my place but to get some clothes and books for class. I've been purposefully staying away from the house.”
“But, what about Olivia then?” I couldn't help the bitterness that was obvious in my question. Jordan cupped my cheek and stared me straight in the eye.
“I broke up with Olivia the night of the mixer,” he told me quietly. My heart stopped. That couldn't be true!
“But she told me you were together. And she stayed with you that night...” My voice trailed off. I was completely confused.
Jordan wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and tugged me closer. Our chests pressed against each other and our faces were less than an inch apart. I looked up at him, not knowing exactly what was happening. “She was lying, Mays. I haven't talked to Olivia in over two weeks. And I don't know where she stayed that night, but it sure as hell wasn't with me. After I texted you, I headed to Garrett's house. That's where I've been staying ever since. So I had no idea all of this was going on. I have barely talked to any of my brothers, so I didn't know shit was being said about you. But I swear to god, that crap ends now!” His face turned red and his nostrils flared. I knew he meant it.
He took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. “Why didn't you call me and tell me this was going on? Didn't you think I'd want to know?” he asked after a few minutes. I dropped my eyes, not wanting to look at him.
“Because it was my problem. And I thought you and Olivia...well you walked off with her. And then she said...” I couldn't finish. I didn't know what else to say. Jordan let out a deep breath and it fanned across my face, smelling like beer and peppermint.
“You thought I had chosen her.” His hand, still clutching around the back of my neck, tightened. “I'm such a f**king ass**le,” he growled. I couldn't help but smile.
“Yeah, you kind of are,” I agreed. Jordan tapped his forehead against mine.
“Watch it,” he warned, his eyes sparkling.
I sobered then and pulled away, forcing him to drop his hands. “Then why haven't I heard from you, Jordan?” I asked him with all the hurt I had felt the last few weeks. This time, Jordan didn't tentatively reach for me. He grabbed my arms and pulled me tightly against him. He held my face roughly between his hands and forced me to look at him. His cheeks were splotched red and his eyes snapped with a fire that threatened to engulf me.
“What are you talking about? After you sent me that text I thought I'd give you the weekend to deal with stuff. I knew you were upset and I didn't want to make it worse for you. But I drove my ass over here first thing Monday morning. But no one was here. So I waited until I had to leave for class myself. Then I came back. And came back. I've been by here at least three times a week since I last saw you! Every time, you either weren't here or Riley has empathically told me that you did not want to see me. I begged her to let me talk to you but she was pretty insistent that I needed to leave you the hell alone. And what I had to say to you couldn't be said over the phone.” I closed my eyes. Damn my well-intentioned but seriously misguided best friend.
“And what did you need to tell me that couldn't be said over the phone?” I asked, my voice weak. Jordan took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I wanted to tell you that I couldn't stop thinking about your face. That you had burrowed your way so deep into my veins that I would f**king bleed you. That if I died tomorrow, I could go a happy man for having felt your lips on my skin.”
Shit. Well, what was there to say to that? The man was a poet. It was no wonder girls practically dropped their panties in his presence.
“Just so you know, I had no idea you had been coming by,” I told him, putting my hands up to cover his as they held my face. Something instantly changed in Jordan's expression. No longer did he look fierce and angry. Now he looked relieved and almost happy.
“You didn't?” he clarified. I shook my head.
“Nope. Had no clue,” I responded, smiling a bit.
“And would you have seen me?” he whispered, inching his mouth towards mine until we were breathing each other's air. I looked into his eyes. This was the moment. The one where everything would change in an instant. How I handled the next thirty seconds was crucial. Did I back away and force myself to deny what had always been there between us? Or did I finally allow myself to accept it...and him?
I furiously wiped them away, hating the show of weakness in front of Jordan. I bowed my head refusing to look at him. There was absolute silence between us. I was acutely aware of Jordan's breathing and my heart pounded in my chest so hard that I was surprised it didn't come flying out and smack him in the face.
Then I felt his hands on my upper arms. His thumbs caressed my bare skin and I loathed how much I loved it. He tilted my chin so that I was looking at him. His eyes were sad as he stared down at me. “Maysie, I had no idea...” I barked out a laugh.
“Have you been living under a rock?” Jordan frowned.
“No, Garrett's house, actually. I haven't been back to my place but to get some clothes and books for class. I've been purposefully staying away from the house.”
“But, what about Olivia then?” I couldn't help the bitterness that was obvious in my question. Jordan cupped my cheek and stared me straight in the eye.
“I broke up with Olivia the night of the mixer,” he told me quietly. My heart stopped. That couldn't be true!
“But she told me you were together. And she stayed with you that night...” My voice trailed off. I was completely confused.
Jordan wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and tugged me closer. Our chests pressed against each other and our faces were less than an inch apart. I looked up at him, not knowing exactly what was happening. “She was lying, Mays. I haven't talked to Olivia in over two weeks. And I don't know where she stayed that night, but it sure as hell wasn't with me. After I texted you, I headed to Garrett's house. That's where I've been staying ever since. So I had no idea all of this was going on. I have barely talked to any of my brothers, so I didn't know shit was being said about you. But I swear to god, that crap ends now!” His face turned red and his nostrils flared. I knew he meant it.
He took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. “Why didn't you call me and tell me this was going on? Didn't you think I'd want to know?” he asked after a few minutes. I dropped my eyes, not wanting to look at him.
“Because it was my problem. And I thought you and Olivia...well you walked off with her. And then she said...” I couldn't finish. I didn't know what else to say. Jordan let out a deep breath and it fanned across my face, smelling like beer and peppermint.
“You thought I had chosen her.” His hand, still clutching around the back of my neck, tightened. “I'm such a f**king ass**le,” he growled. I couldn't help but smile.
“Yeah, you kind of are,” I agreed. Jordan tapped his forehead against mine.
“Watch it,” he warned, his eyes sparkling.
I sobered then and pulled away, forcing him to drop his hands. “Then why haven't I heard from you, Jordan?” I asked him with all the hurt I had felt the last few weeks. This time, Jordan didn't tentatively reach for me. He grabbed my arms and pulled me tightly against him. He held my face roughly between his hands and forced me to look at him. His cheeks were splotched red and his eyes snapped with a fire that threatened to engulf me.
“What are you talking about? After you sent me that text I thought I'd give you the weekend to deal with stuff. I knew you were upset and I didn't want to make it worse for you. But I drove my ass over here first thing Monday morning. But no one was here. So I waited until I had to leave for class myself. Then I came back. And came back. I've been by here at least three times a week since I last saw you! Every time, you either weren't here or Riley has empathically told me that you did not want to see me. I begged her to let me talk to you but she was pretty insistent that I needed to leave you the hell alone. And what I had to say to you couldn't be said over the phone.” I closed my eyes. Damn my well-intentioned but seriously misguided best friend.
“And what did you need to tell me that couldn't be said over the phone?” I asked, my voice weak. Jordan took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I wanted to tell you that I couldn't stop thinking about your face. That you had burrowed your way so deep into my veins that I would f**king bleed you. That if I died tomorrow, I could go a happy man for having felt your lips on my skin.”
Shit. Well, what was there to say to that? The man was a poet. It was no wonder girls practically dropped their panties in his presence.
“Just so you know, I had no idea you had been coming by,” I told him, putting my hands up to cover his as they held my face. Something instantly changed in Jordan's expression. No longer did he look fierce and angry. Now he looked relieved and almost happy.
“You didn't?” he clarified. I shook my head.
“Nope. Had no clue,” I responded, smiling a bit.
“And would you have seen me?” he whispered, inching his mouth towards mine until we were breathing each other's air. I looked into his eyes. This was the moment. The one where everything would change in an instant. How I handled the next thirty seconds was crucial. Did I back away and force myself to deny what had always been there between us? Or did I finally allow myself to accept it...and him?
