"Eva," he breathed gruffly. "Don't fight me. I can't take it."
My eyes closed. "Let me go, Gideon."
He nuzzled his cheek against mine, his breath gusting hard and fast over my ear. "I can't. I know you're disgusted by what you saw the other night...what I was doing to myself - "
"Gideon, no!" God. Did he think I left him because of that? "That's not why - "
"I'm losing my mind without you." His lips were gliding down my neck, his tongue stroking over my racing pulse. He sucked on my skin and pleasure radiated through me. "I can't think. I can't work or sleep. My body aches for you. I can make you want me again. Let me try."
Tears slipped free and ran down my face. They splashed on the upper swell of my br**sts and he licked at them, lapping them away.
How would I ever recover if he made love to me again? How would I survive if he didn't?
"I never stopped wanting you," I whispered. "I can't stop. But you hurt me, Gideon. You have the power to hurt me like no one else can."
His gaze was stark and confused on my face. "I hurt you? How?"
"You lied to me. You shut me out." I cupped his face, needing him to understand this one thing without question. "Your past doesn't have the power to push me away. Only you can do that, and you did."
"I didn't know what to do," he rasped. "I never wanted you to see me like that..."
"That's the problem, Gideon. I want to know who you are, the good and the bad, and you want to keep parts of yourself hidden from me. If you don't open up, we're going to lose each other down the road and I won't be able to take it. I'm barely surviving it now. I've crawled through the last four days of my life. Another week, a month...It'll break me to give you up."
"I can let you in, Eva. I'm trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away. You do it every time and I can't stand feeling like any moment I'm going to do or say something wrong and you're going to bolt."
His mouth was tender again as he brushed his lips back and forth over mine. I didn't argue with him. How could I, when he was right?
"I hoped you'd come back on your own," he murmured, "but I can't stay away anymore. I'll carry you out of here if I have to. Whatever it takes to get you back in the same room with me, talking this out."
My heart stuttered. "You were hoping I'd come back? I thought...You gave me back my keys. I thought we were over."
He pulled back, his face set in fierce lines. "We'll never be over, Eva."
I looked at him, my heart aching like an open wound at how beautiful he was, how broken and in pain he was - pain I'd caused to some degree.
On tiptoes, I kissed the reddened handprint I'd left on his cheek, clutching his thick silky hair in my hands.
Gideon bent his knees to align our bodies, his breathing harsh and erratic. "I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need. Anything. Just take me back."
Maybe I should have been scared by the depth of his need, but I felt the same passionate insanity for him.
Running my hands down his chest in an effort to soothe his trembling, I gave him the hard truth. "We can't seem to stop making each other miserable. I can't keep doing this to you and I can't keep going through these crazy highs and lows. We need help, Gideon. We're seriously dysfunctional."
"I saw Dr. Petersen on Friday. He's going to take me on as a patient, and - if you agree - he'll take us both on as a couple. I figured if you can trust him, I can try."
"Dr. Petersen?" I remembered the brief jolt I'd felt at seeing a black Bentley SUV when Clancy pulled away from the doctor's office. At the time, I'd told myself it was wishful thinking. After all, there were countless black SUVs in New York. "You had me followed."
His chest expanded on a deep breath. He didn't deny it.
I bit back my anger. I could only imagine how terrible it must be for him to be so dependent on something - someone - he couldn't control. What mattered most at that moment were his willingness to try and the fact that it wasn't just talk. He'd actually taken steps. "It's going to be a lot of work, Gideon," I warned him.
"I'm not afraid of work." He was touching me restlessly, his hands sliding over my thighs and bu**ocks as if caressing my bare skin was as necessary to him as breathing. "I'm only afraid of losing you."
I pressed my cheek to his. We completed each other. Even now, as his hands roamed possessively over me, I felt a thawing in my soul, the desperate relief of being held - finally - by the man who understood and satisfied my deepest, most intimate desires.
"I need you." His mouth was sliding over my cheek and down my throat. "I need to be inside you..."
"No. My God. Not here." But my protest sounded weak even to my own ears. I wanted him anywhere, anytime, any way...
"It has to be here," he muttered, dropping to his knees. "It has to be now."
He chafed my skin ripping the lace of my panties away; then he shoved my skirts to my waist and licked my cleft, his tongue parting my folds to stroke over my throbbing clit.
I gasped and tried to recoil, but there was nowhere to go. Not with the door at my back and a grimly determined Gideon in front, one hand keeping me pinned while the other lifted my left leg over his shoulder, opening me to his ardent mouth.
My head thudded against the glass, heat pulsing through my blood from the point where his tongue was driving me mad. My leg flexed against his back, urging him closer, my hands cupping his head to hold him still as I rocked into him. Feeling the rough satin strands of his hair against my sensitive inner thighs was its own provocation, heightening my awareness of everything around me...
We were in Gideon's parents' house, in the midst of a party attended by dozens of famous people, and he was on his knees, growling his hunger as he licked and sucked my slick, aching cleft. He knew just how to get to me, knew what I liked and needed. He had an understanding of my nature that went above and beyond his incredible oral skills. The combination was devastating and addicting.
My body shook, my eyelids heavy from the illicit pleasure. "Gideon...You make me come so hard."
His tongue rubbed over and over the clenching entrance to my body, teasing me, making me grind shamelessly into his working mouth. His hands cupped my bare butt, kneading, urging me onto his tongue as he thrust it inside me. There was reverence in the greedy way he enjoyed me, the unmistakable sense that he worshipped my body, that pleasuring it and taking pleasure from it was as vital to him as the blood in his veins.
"Yes," I hissed, feeling the orgasm building. I was buzzed by champagne and the heated scent of Gideon's skin mixed with my own arousal. My br**sts strained within the increasingly too-tight confines of my strapless bra, my body trembling on the edge of a desperately needed orgasm. "I'm so close."
A movement on the far side of the room caught my eye and I froze, my gaze locking with Magdalene's. She stood just inside the door, halted midstride, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the back of Gideon's moving head.
But he was either oblivious or too impassioned to care. His lips circled my cl*t and his cheeks hallowed. Sucking rhythmically, he massaged the hypersensitive knot with the tip of his tongue.
My eyes closed. "Let me go, Gideon."
He nuzzled his cheek against mine, his breath gusting hard and fast over my ear. "I can't. I know you're disgusted by what you saw the other night...what I was doing to myself - "
"Gideon, no!" God. Did he think I left him because of that? "That's not why - "
"I'm losing my mind without you." His lips were gliding down my neck, his tongue stroking over my racing pulse. He sucked on my skin and pleasure radiated through me. "I can't think. I can't work or sleep. My body aches for you. I can make you want me again. Let me try."
Tears slipped free and ran down my face. They splashed on the upper swell of my br**sts and he licked at them, lapping them away.
How would I ever recover if he made love to me again? How would I survive if he didn't?
"I never stopped wanting you," I whispered. "I can't stop. But you hurt me, Gideon. You have the power to hurt me like no one else can."
His gaze was stark and confused on my face. "I hurt you? How?"
"You lied to me. You shut me out." I cupped his face, needing him to understand this one thing without question. "Your past doesn't have the power to push me away. Only you can do that, and you did."
"I didn't know what to do," he rasped. "I never wanted you to see me like that..."
"That's the problem, Gideon. I want to know who you are, the good and the bad, and you want to keep parts of yourself hidden from me. If you don't open up, we're going to lose each other down the road and I won't be able to take it. I'm barely surviving it now. I've crawled through the last four days of my life. Another week, a month...It'll break me to give you up."
"I can let you in, Eva. I'm trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away. You do it every time and I can't stand feeling like any moment I'm going to do or say something wrong and you're going to bolt."
His mouth was tender again as he brushed his lips back and forth over mine. I didn't argue with him. How could I, when he was right?
"I hoped you'd come back on your own," he murmured, "but I can't stay away anymore. I'll carry you out of here if I have to. Whatever it takes to get you back in the same room with me, talking this out."
My heart stuttered. "You were hoping I'd come back? I thought...You gave me back my keys. I thought we were over."
He pulled back, his face set in fierce lines. "We'll never be over, Eva."
I looked at him, my heart aching like an open wound at how beautiful he was, how broken and in pain he was - pain I'd caused to some degree.
On tiptoes, I kissed the reddened handprint I'd left on his cheek, clutching his thick silky hair in my hands.
Gideon bent his knees to align our bodies, his breathing harsh and erratic. "I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need. Anything. Just take me back."
Maybe I should have been scared by the depth of his need, but I felt the same passionate insanity for him.
Running my hands down his chest in an effort to soothe his trembling, I gave him the hard truth. "We can't seem to stop making each other miserable. I can't keep doing this to you and I can't keep going through these crazy highs and lows. We need help, Gideon. We're seriously dysfunctional."
"I saw Dr. Petersen on Friday. He's going to take me on as a patient, and - if you agree - he'll take us both on as a couple. I figured if you can trust him, I can try."
"Dr. Petersen?" I remembered the brief jolt I'd felt at seeing a black Bentley SUV when Clancy pulled away from the doctor's office. At the time, I'd told myself it was wishful thinking. After all, there were countless black SUVs in New York. "You had me followed."
His chest expanded on a deep breath. He didn't deny it.
I bit back my anger. I could only imagine how terrible it must be for him to be so dependent on something - someone - he couldn't control. What mattered most at that moment were his willingness to try and the fact that it wasn't just talk. He'd actually taken steps. "It's going to be a lot of work, Gideon," I warned him.
"I'm not afraid of work." He was touching me restlessly, his hands sliding over my thighs and bu**ocks as if caressing my bare skin was as necessary to him as breathing. "I'm only afraid of losing you."
I pressed my cheek to his. We completed each other. Even now, as his hands roamed possessively over me, I felt a thawing in my soul, the desperate relief of being held - finally - by the man who understood and satisfied my deepest, most intimate desires.
"I need you." His mouth was sliding over my cheek and down my throat. "I need to be inside you..."
"No. My God. Not here." But my protest sounded weak even to my own ears. I wanted him anywhere, anytime, any way...
"It has to be here," he muttered, dropping to his knees. "It has to be now."
He chafed my skin ripping the lace of my panties away; then he shoved my skirts to my waist and licked my cleft, his tongue parting my folds to stroke over my throbbing clit.
I gasped and tried to recoil, but there was nowhere to go. Not with the door at my back and a grimly determined Gideon in front, one hand keeping me pinned while the other lifted my left leg over his shoulder, opening me to his ardent mouth.
My head thudded against the glass, heat pulsing through my blood from the point where his tongue was driving me mad. My leg flexed against his back, urging him closer, my hands cupping his head to hold him still as I rocked into him. Feeling the rough satin strands of his hair against my sensitive inner thighs was its own provocation, heightening my awareness of everything around me...
We were in Gideon's parents' house, in the midst of a party attended by dozens of famous people, and he was on his knees, growling his hunger as he licked and sucked my slick, aching cleft. He knew just how to get to me, knew what I liked and needed. He had an understanding of my nature that went above and beyond his incredible oral skills. The combination was devastating and addicting.
My body shook, my eyelids heavy from the illicit pleasure. "Gideon...You make me come so hard."
His tongue rubbed over and over the clenching entrance to my body, teasing me, making me grind shamelessly into his working mouth. His hands cupped my bare butt, kneading, urging me onto his tongue as he thrust it inside me. There was reverence in the greedy way he enjoyed me, the unmistakable sense that he worshipped my body, that pleasuring it and taking pleasure from it was as vital to him as the blood in his veins.
"Yes," I hissed, feeling the orgasm building. I was buzzed by champagne and the heated scent of Gideon's skin mixed with my own arousal. My br**sts strained within the increasingly too-tight confines of my strapless bra, my body trembling on the edge of a desperately needed orgasm. "I'm so close."
A movement on the far side of the room caught my eye and I froze, my gaze locking with Magdalene's. She stood just inside the door, halted midstride, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the back of Gideon's moving head.
But he was either oblivious or too impassioned to care. His lips circled my cl*t and his cheeks hallowed. Sucking rhythmically, he massaged the hypersensitive knot with the tip of his tongue.
