Beautiful Player
Page 45
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“When you ended things with them,” Sara prompted.
Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.
“Oh,” I said, scratching my jaw. “I haven’t technically ended things.”
“So, you’re hung up on Hanna, but you haven’t let your other two lovers know that you have sincere feelings for someone else?”
I picked up my beer, stared down into it. It wasn’t just the hassle of going through the awkward let’s-end-this conversation with Kitty and Kristy. If I was honest with myself, it was also partly about the security of the distraction they could provide if this whole thing with Hanna went downhill. That sounded like a dick move even to me.
“Not yet,” I admitted. “It’s all so casual. Who knows if a conversation is really needed?”
Chloe leaned forward, setting her bottle down and waiting until I looked her in the eye. “Will, I love you. I really do. You are going to be a part of our wedding; you will be a part of our family. I want the best things in the world to happen to you.” She narrowed her eyes at me, and I felt my balls crawl up into my body. “But I still wouldn’t tell a girlfriend of mine to take a chance with you. I’d tell her she should let you f**k her brains out, but keep her emotions out of it because you are a clueless little shit.”
I winced, kind of chuckled, and shook my head. “That’s refreshingly honest.”
“I’m being serious. Yes, you’re always open with your sex buddies. No, you don’t have anything to hide. But what’s your thing against relationships?”
Throwing my hands in the air, I said, “I don’t have anything against relationships!”
Sara jumped in, saying, “You assume from day one that you won’t want anything more than convenient sex,” before continuing more gently, “and let me tell you, from a woman’s point of view? When you’re younger you want the boy who knows how to play the game but when you’re older you want the man who knows when it’s not a game anymore. You don’t even know that yet, and you’re, what? Thirty-one? Hanna may be young in years, but she’s an old soul, and she’s going to quickly figure out that your model isn’t the right one for her. You’re teaching Hanna how to balance multiple lovers but you should be teaching her what it feels like to be loved.”
I smiled at her, and then rubbed my face with both hands, groaning, “Did you guys come over here to lecture me?”
Sara said, “No,” at the same time that Chloe said, “Yes.”
Finally, Sara laughed and said, “Yes.” She leaned forward to put her hand on my knee. “You’re just so clueless, Will. You’re like our adorable, derpy mascot.”
“That is awful,” I said, laughing. “Don’t ever repeat that.”
We all turned back to the basketball game. It wasn’t awkward. I didn’t feel defensive. I knew they were right; I just wasn’t sure what I could actually do about any of it, seeing as how Hanna was out with f**king Dylan. It was fantastic for me to be able to admit that I wanted more with her, and that I didn’t want her out with another guy, but it one hundred percent did not matter as long as Hanna and I were on different pages about it. And the truth was, I wanted her to f**k only me, but I didn’t really want things between us to change.
Did I?
I picked up my phone, checking to see if I’d somehow missed a text from her in the past two minutes.
“Jesus, Will. Just f**king text her!” Chloe said, throwing a napkin at me.
I stood abruptly, less to comply with Chloe’s bossy shit and more to just move. What was Hanna doing right now? Where were they? It was almost nine. Shouldn’t they be done with dinner by now?
Actually, given his track record, she was probably at home . . . unless they were at his place?
I felt my eyes go wide. Was it possible she was in his bed? Having sex with him? I closed them just as fast, jaw bulging as I remembered how she felt beneath me, her curves, the feeling of her knees pressed to my sides. And to think she might be with that weaselly kid? Naked?
Fuck that.
Turning, I walked down the hall toward my bedroom, stopping when my phone buzzed in my palm. I don’t think even my knee-jerk reflex was as fast as my reaction to the lit screen. But it was only Max.
Your girl is here at the restaurant with me and Ben. Nicely done on the Project Hanna, Will. She looks bloody hot.
I groaned, leaning against the wall in my hallway as I typed. Is she kissing the kid?
No, Max replied. She keeps checking her phone though. Stop texting her, you little shit. She’s “exploring life” right now, remember.
Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.
“Oh,” I said, scratching my jaw. “I haven’t technically ended things.”
“So, you’re hung up on Hanna, but you haven’t let your other two lovers know that you have sincere feelings for someone else?”
I picked up my beer, stared down into it. It wasn’t just the hassle of going through the awkward let’s-end-this conversation with Kitty and Kristy. If I was honest with myself, it was also partly about the security of the distraction they could provide if this whole thing with Hanna went downhill. That sounded like a dick move even to me.
“Not yet,” I admitted. “It’s all so casual. Who knows if a conversation is really needed?”
Chloe leaned forward, setting her bottle down and waiting until I looked her in the eye. “Will, I love you. I really do. You are going to be a part of our wedding; you will be a part of our family. I want the best things in the world to happen to you.” She narrowed her eyes at me, and I felt my balls crawl up into my body. “But I still wouldn’t tell a girlfriend of mine to take a chance with you. I’d tell her she should let you f**k her brains out, but keep her emotions out of it because you are a clueless little shit.”
I winced, kind of chuckled, and shook my head. “That’s refreshingly honest.”
“I’m being serious. Yes, you’re always open with your sex buddies. No, you don’t have anything to hide. But what’s your thing against relationships?”
Throwing my hands in the air, I said, “I don’t have anything against relationships!”
Sara jumped in, saying, “You assume from day one that you won’t want anything more than convenient sex,” before continuing more gently, “and let me tell you, from a woman’s point of view? When you’re younger you want the boy who knows how to play the game but when you’re older you want the man who knows when it’s not a game anymore. You don’t even know that yet, and you’re, what? Thirty-one? Hanna may be young in years, but she’s an old soul, and she’s going to quickly figure out that your model isn’t the right one for her. You’re teaching Hanna how to balance multiple lovers but you should be teaching her what it feels like to be loved.”
I smiled at her, and then rubbed my face with both hands, groaning, “Did you guys come over here to lecture me?”
Sara said, “No,” at the same time that Chloe said, “Yes.”
Finally, Sara laughed and said, “Yes.” She leaned forward to put her hand on my knee. “You’re just so clueless, Will. You’re like our adorable, derpy mascot.”
“That is awful,” I said, laughing. “Don’t ever repeat that.”
We all turned back to the basketball game. It wasn’t awkward. I didn’t feel defensive. I knew they were right; I just wasn’t sure what I could actually do about any of it, seeing as how Hanna was out with f**king Dylan. It was fantastic for me to be able to admit that I wanted more with her, and that I didn’t want her out with another guy, but it one hundred percent did not matter as long as Hanna and I were on different pages about it. And the truth was, I wanted her to f**k only me, but I didn’t really want things between us to change.
Did I?
I picked up my phone, checking to see if I’d somehow missed a text from her in the past two minutes.
“Jesus, Will. Just f**king text her!” Chloe said, throwing a napkin at me.
I stood abruptly, less to comply with Chloe’s bossy shit and more to just move. What was Hanna doing right now? Where were they? It was almost nine. Shouldn’t they be done with dinner by now?
Actually, given his track record, she was probably at home . . . unless they were at his place?
I felt my eyes go wide. Was it possible she was in his bed? Having sex with him? I closed them just as fast, jaw bulging as I remembered how she felt beneath me, her curves, the feeling of her knees pressed to my sides. And to think she might be with that weaselly kid? Naked?
Fuck that.
Turning, I walked down the hall toward my bedroom, stopping when my phone buzzed in my palm. I don’t think even my knee-jerk reflex was as fast as my reaction to the lit screen. But it was only Max.
Your girl is here at the restaurant with me and Ben. Nicely done on the Project Hanna, Will. She looks bloody hot.
I groaned, leaning against the wall in my hallway as I typed. Is she kissing the kid?
No, Max replied. She keeps checking her phone though. Stop texting her, you little shit. She’s “exploring life” right now, remember.
