Beauty from Love
Page 46
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She takes the glass and looks at it. “What’s in it?”
“I have no idea. It just looks like water to me.”
She brings it to her nose for a sniff. “I smell something familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.” She brings the glass to her mouth and takes a tiny sip. “It’s not terrible. There’s a little tanginess with something sweet—maybe a touch of honey.” She takes another sip. “I don’t care if it’s bad if it helps this feeling go away. I hate being nauseated.”
“What about some toast?” I want her to eat because she doesn’t need to lose another ounce. I worry she and the baby aren’t getting what they need.
“Maybe a little later.” Not what I want to hear.
“Promise me you’ll try.”
“I will.” She puts her hand on my arm. “Don’t worry, McLachlan. I’ll feel better in a few hours and I’ll eat something then. I’m not going to let the baby starve.”
I hate not being able to help her. “I can’t control this situation and it makes me feel helpless. I take care of you—it’s what I do—but I’m not able to with this.”
“This will pass in a few weeks and I’ll eat you out of house and home. I’ll probably gain way too much weight and get lots of stretch marks. You’ll wish I had morning, noon, and night sickness.”
“Never. I want you and this baby to have the nourishment you need.”
Laurelyn sips on her drink until she has about half of it down—and it stays. It’s mainly water, I think, but it makes me feel better to see her at least get a little hydration.
It’s a slow process but she gets out of bed to shower and dress for her appointment. We somehow manage to get out the door at a decent time. Despite her present condition, she looks beautiful and I can’t stop looking over at her as I drive.
“What is it?”
“You’re beautiful and I love looking at you.”
“Well, find a time to look when you’re not driving.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
We do the necessary paperwork as we sit in the waiting room, but we don’t get called to an exam room for an hour and a half. “Waiting this long is fucking ridiculous.”
She turns and gives me the shut the hell up face. I know it well. “I’m seeing an obstetrician. She has to leave the office to go deliver babies at the hospital. That’s nonnegotiable so expect delays. We’ll get our turn at making people wait when she comes to deliver this one.”
L pees in a cup, gets weighed, and has her blood taken. All of that happens before she’s even put in the exam room. “What else are they gonna do to you?”
She starts taking off her clothes to change into a patient gown. “I’m sure I’m getting a Pap smear since it’s my first visit. She’ll probably feel around to make sure everything is in good working order and I’m hoping for an ultrasound. I really want to see the baby.”
She sits on the exam table and we wait some more—long enough for the doc to deliver at least a dozen babies. I’m becoming very irritable and L knows it. “Be patient, McLachlan.”
“You shouldn’t have to sit and wait like this. You haven’t had anything to eat and it’s well past lunch now.”
She opens her mouth to reply—or argue—but doesn’t when the doctor finally comes into the exam room. “Hello, Mrs. McLachlan. I’m Dr. Sommersby. I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long. I don’t usually run so behind but I had two deliveries this morning and one was twins so it took longer.”
“It’s not a problem.” Yes, it is. I won’t have L sitting for hours like this every time she has an appointment.
They talk a few minutes about things I know nothing about as she feels L’s breasts. That’s awkward, having another woman touch my wife like that, but I guess it would be worse if it were a man. Dr. Sommersby asks L to slide down on the table and her feet are placed in metal footrests. I hear a lot of clanking and keep my place in the chair by her head. I don’t even want to know what’s going on under that drape. “Everything looks good. Now let’s take a look with the ultrasound so we can document how far along you are.”
This makes L very happy. And me. I want to see the baby and know everything is all right as well.
The doctor squeezes gel on L’s belly and spreads it around. She takes notice of her navel piercing. “That’s very pretty but I recommend you change it out to something flexible when you get a little further along. Sometimes these stiff rings leave ugly scars.”
“I expected you to tell me I had to take it out.”
“I’m pretty lax on most things, but I do want it out on delivery day in case of emergency. It’s terrible trying to get those things out when everyone is scrambling around in a mad rush.” An emergency—I hadn’t considered anything like that happening. I guess no one goes in to have a baby and thinks something bad will happen to them.
I take Laurelyn’s hand in mine as Dr. Sommersby adjusts her glasses and straightens the monitor screen of the ultrasound for a better view. She moves the probe one way and then another. I can’t guess what she’s seeing but for me, I see nothing but white noise on a black screen. “I was hoping we could see something with an abdominal scan but you’re too early. We’ll need to do a transvaginal.” She returns the probe in her hand to the machine and exchanges it for one that looks like a huge dildo. What the fuck is she gonna do with that?
My thought isn’t quite completed when she rolls a condom over it and I find out. “Relax your legs and let them fall apart, Laurelyn.” Her hand and the dildo disappear under L’s gown. “This doesn’t hurt but it does feel full, especially if your bladder isn’t empty.”
L looks at me with large eyes and takes a deep breath before releasing it. She makes a face that tells me she’s uncomfortable and squeezes my hand. “Whew! That’s a lot of pressure.”
“Hang in there, Laurelyn. It’ll get better once I stop moving the transducer … which should be right about … now.”
Laurelyn sighs a breath of relief. Her grip on my hand relaxes but it trembles as she searches the screen, waiting for the doctor to say something. Anything.
“This is just a two-dimensional ultrasound so the picture isn’t the best. I basically only want to document the gestation. We’ll do a three-dimensional when you’re further along and have something to see that you’d recognize.” She finally points to the screen. “Looks like you’re six weeks, give or take a couple of days. This big dark area is your uterus and that white circle is the sac. And if you’ll look right here …” She adjusts for a better look and points to a white area. “There’s your baby.”
“I have no idea. It just looks like water to me.”
She brings it to her nose for a sniff. “I smell something familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.” She brings the glass to her mouth and takes a tiny sip. “It’s not terrible. There’s a little tanginess with something sweet—maybe a touch of honey.” She takes another sip. “I don’t care if it’s bad if it helps this feeling go away. I hate being nauseated.”
“What about some toast?” I want her to eat because she doesn’t need to lose another ounce. I worry she and the baby aren’t getting what they need.
“Maybe a little later.” Not what I want to hear.
“Promise me you’ll try.”
“I will.” She puts her hand on my arm. “Don’t worry, McLachlan. I’ll feel better in a few hours and I’ll eat something then. I’m not going to let the baby starve.”
I hate not being able to help her. “I can’t control this situation and it makes me feel helpless. I take care of you—it’s what I do—but I’m not able to with this.”
“This will pass in a few weeks and I’ll eat you out of house and home. I’ll probably gain way too much weight and get lots of stretch marks. You’ll wish I had morning, noon, and night sickness.”
“Never. I want you and this baby to have the nourishment you need.”
Laurelyn sips on her drink until she has about half of it down—and it stays. It’s mainly water, I think, but it makes me feel better to see her at least get a little hydration.
It’s a slow process but she gets out of bed to shower and dress for her appointment. We somehow manage to get out the door at a decent time. Despite her present condition, she looks beautiful and I can’t stop looking over at her as I drive.
“What is it?”
“You’re beautiful and I love looking at you.”
“Well, find a time to look when you’re not driving.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
We do the necessary paperwork as we sit in the waiting room, but we don’t get called to an exam room for an hour and a half. “Waiting this long is fucking ridiculous.”
She turns and gives me the shut the hell up face. I know it well. “I’m seeing an obstetrician. She has to leave the office to go deliver babies at the hospital. That’s nonnegotiable so expect delays. We’ll get our turn at making people wait when she comes to deliver this one.”
L pees in a cup, gets weighed, and has her blood taken. All of that happens before she’s even put in the exam room. “What else are they gonna do to you?”
She starts taking off her clothes to change into a patient gown. “I’m sure I’m getting a Pap smear since it’s my first visit. She’ll probably feel around to make sure everything is in good working order and I’m hoping for an ultrasound. I really want to see the baby.”
She sits on the exam table and we wait some more—long enough for the doc to deliver at least a dozen babies. I’m becoming very irritable and L knows it. “Be patient, McLachlan.”
“You shouldn’t have to sit and wait like this. You haven’t had anything to eat and it’s well past lunch now.”
She opens her mouth to reply—or argue—but doesn’t when the doctor finally comes into the exam room. “Hello, Mrs. McLachlan. I’m Dr. Sommersby. I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long. I don’t usually run so behind but I had two deliveries this morning and one was twins so it took longer.”
“It’s not a problem.” Yes, it is. I won’t have L sitting for hours like this every time she has an appointment.
They talk a few minutes about things I know nothing about as she feels L’s breasts. That’s awkward, having another woman touch my wife like that, but I guess it would be worse if it were a man. Dr. Sommersby asks L to slide down on the table and her feet are placed in metal footrests. I hear a lot of clanking and keep my place in the chair by her head. I don’t even want to know what’s going on under that drape. “Everything looks good. Now let’s take a look with the ultrasound so we can document how far along you are.”
This makes L very happy. And me. I want to see the baby and know everything is all right as well.
The doctor squeezes gel on L’s belly and spreads it around. She takes notice of her navel piercing. “That’s very pretty but I recommend you change it out to something flexible when you get a little further along. Sometimes these stiff rings leave ugly scars.”
“I expected you to tell me I had to take it out.”
“I’m pretty lax on most things, but I do want it out on delivery day in case of emergency. It’s terrible trying to get those things out when everyone is scrambling around in a mad rush.” An emergency—I hadn’t considered anything like that happening. I guess no one goes in to have a baby and thinks something bad will happen to them.
I take Laurelyn’s hand in mine as Dr. Sommersby adjusts her glasses and straightens the monitor screen of the ultrasound for a better view. She moves the probe one way and then another. I can’t guess what she’s seeing but for me, I see nothing but white noise on a black screen. “I was hoping we could see something with an abdominal scan but you’re too early. We’ll need to do a transvaginal.” She returns the probe in her hand to the machine and exchanges it for one that looks like a huge dildo. What the fuck is she gonna do with that?
My thought isn’t quite completed when she rolls a condom over it and I find out. “Relax your legs and let them fall apart, Laurelyn.” Her hand and the dildo disappear under L’s gown. “This doesn’t hurt but it does feel full, especially if your bladder isn’t empty.”
L looks at me with large eyes and takes a deep breath before releasing it. She makes a face that tells me she’s uncomfortable and squeezes my hand. “Whew! That’s a lot of pressure.”
“Hang in there, Laurelyn. It’ll get better once I stop moving the transducer … which should be right about … now.”
Laurelyn sighs a breath of relief. Her grip on my hand relaxes but it trembles as she searches the screen, waiting for the doctor to say something. Anything.
“This is just a two-dimensional ultrasound so the picture isn’t the best. I basically only want to document the gestation. We’ll do a three-dimensional when you’re further along and have something to see that you’d recognize.” She finally points to the screen. “Looks like you’re six weeks, give or take a couple of days. This big dark area is your uterus and that white circle is the sac. And if you’ll look right here …” She adjusts for a better look and points to a white area. “There’s your baby.”
