Before I Wake
Page 14
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All right, back the hell off! a familiar voice shouted as I jerked my arm free from whoeverd pulled it. I looked up to see Sabine staring down the boldest of my new friends. I knew by the almost liquid depths of her black, black eyes that she was unleashing their own fears on them, literally scaring them away.
Sabine was a Nightmare. For real. Though the politically correct term was mara, the old-fashioned one fit better, in my opinion. She could read peoples fears and weave nightmares from them, then feed from her victims in their sleep.
Creepy? Yeah. Especially when shed tried to use her mara abilities and appetite to scare me away from Nash. But in that moment, in the quad, I was more than grateful for the rescue from someone Id considered my nemesis a few short months earlier.
Thanks, I said when the last of the vultures was gone, and when I looked up again, Nash stood behind Sabine. Watching me. It killed me that I couldnt tell what he was thinking or feeling, though I completely understood why he would control the telltale swirling in his irises around me now.
Bastards have no self-respect, Sabine muttered as the last of the crowd dissipated. Even I dont feed off the weak or the injured.
I decided not to waste my breath telling her I was neither weak nor injuredphysically, anyway. Will you stay and eat with me? I asked, glancing from Sabine to Nash, who closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then met my gaze again. I brought burgers.
Free food was usually enough to tempt Sabine, but Nash was another story.
Is he here? Nash asked, and I realized that was the first time Id heard his voice since the day I died.
He was Tod, of course.
Not yet, but you could stay till he gets here. Or you could just stay. You have every right to hate us both, but this doesnt have to be Words failed me when the thought behind them trailed into nothing.
Doesnt have to be what, Kaylee? Nash demanded softly. Awkward and painful? Because if you know of some other way for me to view the fact that my brother stole my girlfriend, who then framed me for her murder, Im willing to listen.
But I didnt. That was all true, and trying to defend either of us would only have made Nash angrier.
He started to turn away, and I stood, hyperaware of all the eyes watching us. Please, stay, I said, and he stopped. Please, just Maybe we could start again? I said, so that only he and Sabine could hear. I know we cant erase everything that went wrong between us, but maybe we could kind of turn the page and start on a fresh one. Tabula rasa.
Nash glanced at Sabine, who shrugged, then they both sat. And I realized I had no idea what to say. My plan ended with beggingthem both to sit with me, because I hadnt really expected that to work.
Um, Em and her boyfriend will be here any minute, which will probably put an end to genuine conversation, but How are you? I asked, pulling burgers from the grease-stained bag. His recovery from frost addiction had suffered a recent relapse and Harmony had said that kicking the habit a second time was even harder, because withdrawal was more severe.
Do you even eat anymore? Nash asked, ignoring my question entirely.
I dont have to, but, yeah, I can. I handed him a burger and a carton of fries, and Sabine helped herself to the bag, impatient as always. Nash, Im so sorry.
You already said that, Sabine said, folding the wrapper back from her burger. You said it a lot, actually. Which supports my theory that apologies are basically pointless. They dont fix anything, right? Thats why I rarely bother.
An apology isnt a Band-Aid, I insisted. Its an expression of regret.
Not that that matters. Nashs voice was deep and angry. He hadnt touched his food. Half these assholes still think I stabbed you, Kaylee. How is it that I stayed away from you, just like you told me to, yet I still wound up arrested and charged with killing you?
I didnt have any choice. That was the truth, and I needed him to believe that worse than Id ever needed anything from him. Beck said hed rape and kill Em and Sophie if I didnt cooperate. I couldnt let that happen. Hed already hurt so many. The memory chilled me, which made it hard to keep my heart beating, in a body that was already reluctant to cooperate. But I fixed it. I told the police you werent even there.
You got the charges dropped, but you cant take back what you did, Nash insisted, and he was right. I was convicted in the court of public opinion the minute they handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the police car. In front of my mother. How are you going to undo that?
I dont know. Tears burned at the back of my eyes and I fought to keep them from falling. I hadnt even known I could still cry, but there they were, and suddenly I felt just as powerless in death as Id been in life. Ill tell people. Ill say whatever you want. IllIll do an interview for the school paper, if thatll help. Chelseas been bugging me to
Forget about it. Nash picked up his burger and tore half the wrapper from it, but he looked like the thought of eating made him sick. Just dont talk about it, and maybe thisll all go away. Eventually.
Sabine was a Nightmare. For real. Though the politically correct term was mara, the old-fashioned one fit better, in my opinion. She could read peoples fears and weave nightmares from them, then feed from her victims in their sleep.
Creepy? Yeah. Especially when shed tried to use her mara abilities and appetite to scare me away from Nash. But in that moment, in the quad, I was more than grateful for the rescue from someone Id considered my nemesis a few short months earlier.
Thanks, I said when the last of the vultures was gone, and when I looked up again, Nash stood behind Sabine. Watching me. It killed me that I couldnt tell what he was thinking or feeling, though I completely understood why he would control the telltale swirling in his irises around me now.
Bastards have no self-respect, Sabine muttered as the last of the crowd dissipated. Even I dont feed off the weak or the injured.
I decided not to waste my breath telling her I was neither weak nor injuredphysically, anyway. Will you stay and eat with me? I asked, glancing from Sabine to Nash, who closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then met my gaze again. I brought burgers.
Free food was usually enough to tempt Sabine, but Nash was another story.
Is he here? Nash asked, and I realized that was the first time Id heard his voice since the day I died.
He was Tod, of course.
Not yet, but you could stay till he gets here. Or you could just stay. You have every right to hate us both, but this doesnt have to be Words failed me when the thought behind them trailed into nothing.
Doesnt have to be what, Kaylee? Nash demanded softly. Awkward and painful? Because if you know of some other way for me to view the fact that my brother stole my girlfriend, who then framed me for her murder, Im willing to listen.
But I didnt. That was all true, and trying to defend either of us would only have made Nash angrier.
He started to turn away, and I stood, hyperaware of all the eyes watching us. Please, stay, I said, and he stopped. Please, just Maybe we could start again? I said, so that only he and Sabine could hear. I know we cant erase everything that went wrong between us, but maybe we could kind of turn the page and start on a fresh one. Tabula rasa.
Nash glanced at Sabine, who shrugged, then they both sat. And I realized I had no idea what to say. My plan ended with beggingthem both to sit with me, because I hadnt really expected that to work.
Um, Em and her boyfriend will be here any minute, which will probably put an end to genuine conversation, but How are you? I asked, pulling burgers from the grease-stained bag. His recovery from frost addiction had suffered a recent relapse and Harmony had said that kicking the habit a second time was even harder, because withdrawal was more severe.
Do you even eat anymore? Nash asked, ignoring my question entirely.
I dont have to, but, yeah, I can. I handed him a burger and a carton of fries, and Sabine helped herself to the bag, impatient as always. Nash, Im so sorry.
You already said that, Sabine said, folding the wrapper back from her burger. You said it a lot, actually. Which supports my theory that apologies are basically pointless. They dont fix anything, right? Thats why I rarely bother.
An apology isnt a Band-Aid, I insisted. Its an expression of regret.
Not that that matters. Nashs voice was deep and angry. He hadnt touched his food. Half these assholes still think I stabbed you, Kaylee. How is it that I stayed away from you, just like you told me to, yet I still wound up arrested and charged with killing you?
I didnt have any choice. That was the truth, and I needed him to believe that worse than Id ever needed anything from him. Beck said hed rape and kill Em and Sophie if I didnt cooperate. I couldnt let that happen. Hed already hurt so many. The memory chilled me, which made it hard to keep my heart beating, in a body that was already reluctant to cooperate. But I fixed it. I told the police you werent even there.
You got the charges dropped, but you cant take back what you did, Nash insisted, and he was right. I was convicted in the court of public opinion the minute they handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the police car. In front of my mother. How are you going to undo that?
I dont know. Tears burned at the back of my eyes and I fought to keep them from falling. I hadnt even known I could still cry, but there they were, and suddenly I felt just as powerless in death as Id been in life. Ill tell people. Ill say whatever you want. IllIll do an interview for the school paper, if thatll help. Chelseas been bugging me to
Forget about it. Nash picked up his burger and tore half the wrapper from it, but he looked like the thought of eating made him sick. Just dont talk about it, and maybe thisll all go away. Eventually.
