Before I Wake
Page 17
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Probably, I admitted. But whats the point? Scooping popcorn and selling tickets for minimum wage feels like a waste of time now.
Tods brows rose. Its not like either of us is short on time.
I know, but I dont want to spend eternity wearing red polyester and smelling like fake butter. Too late, I realized he was doing that very thing, only his uniform shirt was blue and he finished his shifts at the pizza place smelling like grease and pepperoni. Because the reaper gig didnt pay in human currency and without cash, he couldnt pay for his cell phone, or food and clothes he didnt technically need, or the in-public date we kept promising ourselves.
You obviously dont want to spend eternity doing chemistry homework, either. Tod slid the necklace onto the comforter between us, then flipped the textbook closed and set it on the floor. I take it your return to class was less than triumphant?
I rolled onto my back with a sigh. Today sucked. No way around it. Between the stares, the gossip, and the inappropriate questions, school felt more like a three-ring circus than an institute of learning. Three different people actually asked to see my scar. Can you believe that?
Cant say I blame them. As scars go, its pretty damn sexy. Tod grinned and pushed the hem of my shirt up to expose the straight, pinkish line of raised tissue on my stomach. His fingers traced it slowly and chills gathered just below my navel. Then he lowered his head and followed that line again with a series of soft kisses. I closed my eyes and gripped handfuls of my comforter, and those chills at my center became a fire that burned deep inside me.
Suddenly that scar was my very favorite part of my body.
No fair, I moaned. Only you could make me love the wound that killed me.
Never underestimate the therapeutic power of a few well-placed kisses, he mumbled against my skin.
I laughed and pulled him up until our mouths met. Mmm If Id known the afterlife could be this yummy, I might have tried to expedite the process.
Tod pulled away, frowning. Thats not funny.
What, you can make death jokes, but I cant? His morbid sense of humor used to worry me, but now I understood it. Eternity is hard to face when you cant find anything to laugh about. Yet jokes couldnt hide the truth. I was conscious, and warm, andpreserved. But I wasnt alive, and I never would be again. Faking it was the best I could do. He and I had that in common.
I would have done anything to keep you from dying. Tod slid one hand slowly down my arm, leaving a trail of chills in its wake. This would have been just as amazing while you were alive.
That wasnever part of the plan, I said. We just didnt know it. Not until hed seen my name on the list of souls scheduled to be reaped. And because Id already had my one allowed death-date exchange, there was nothing Tod, or my dad, or anyone else, could do to save me. Besides, there are advantages to the afterlife. For instance, if I were to do this I pushed him gently but firmly onto his back, then I straddled him no one could see us unless we wanted them to. And we did not.
A valid point He reached for my hips, and I hated both layers of clothing between us almost as much as I loved the look in his eyes, part surprise, part heat, and no hint of an objection.
And if I were to do this I leaned forward and kissed the edge of his jaw, and Tod groaned as my shift in position created a delicious friction between us and you were to make that sound you just made, no one could hear you unless you wanted to be heard.
His hands tightened on my hips, pressing me tighter into him as my lips trailed down his jaw toward his neck, over the pale, late-night stubble hed died with. What happened to the good little girl who blushed and covered her face at the thought of what youre doing right now?
She died, I whispered into his ear.
That girl had felt alive with every breath shed taken, even knowing shed soon breathe her last. This onethe restored meonly felt alive when she experienced very strong emotions, which Madeline had assured me was perfectly normal. And so far the only strong emotions I actually enjoyed were the ones I felt when I was with Tod.
Why? You like the good girl better? I asked.
I know her better. Tods hand slid up my back beneath my shirt. But this ones certainly making me wish Id shown up for invisi-lunch. Hed texted me halfway through lunch to say he couldnt make it.
I laughed, then rolled off of him and onto my side, watching his profile from inches away. What could possibly compete with the lure of cafeteria food, adolescent conversation, and hostile company?
I spent two hours trying to question reapers without sounding like I was questioning them. What do you think it says about us as a group, that every reaper I know is either irritable, egotistical, voyeuristic, or some combination of the three?
That you fit in well?
Ha, ha.
So, had any of them seen Thane?
Not that they told me. But I cant be sure, because I couldnt come right out and ask. It was probably a waste of time that would have been better spent with you. What did I miss at lunch?
Tods brows rose. Its not like either of us is short on time.
I know, but I dont want to spend eternity wearing red polyester and smelling like fake butter. Too late, I realized he was doing that very thing, only his uniform shirt was blue and he finished his shifts at the pizza place smelling like grease and pepperoni. Because the reaper gig didnt pay in human currency and without cash, he couldnt pay for his cell phone, or food and clothes he didnt technically need, or the in-public date we kept promising ourselves.
You obviously dont want to spend eternity doing chemistry homework, either. Tod slid the necklace onto the comforter between us, then flipped the textbook closed and set it on the floor. I take it your return to class was less than triumphant?
I rolled onto my back with a sigh. Today sucked. No way around it. Between the stares, the gossip, and the inappropriate questions, school felt more like a three-ring circus than an institute of learning. Three different people actually asked to see my scar. Can you believe that?
Cant say I blame them. As scars go, its pretty damn sexy. Tod grinned and pushed the hem of my shirt up to expose the straight, pinkish line of raised tissue on my stomach. His fingers traced it slowly and chills gathered just below my navel. Then he lowered his head and followed that line again with a series of soft kisses. I closed my eyes and gripped handfuls of my comforter, and those chills at my center became a fire that burned deep inside me.
Suddenly that scar was my very favorite part of my body.
No fair, I moaned. Only you could make me love the wound that killed me.
Never underestimate the therapeutic power of a few well-placed kisses, he mumbled against my skin.
I laughed and pulled him up until our mouths met. Mmm If Id known the afterlife could be this yummy, I might have tried to expedite the process.
Tod pulled away, frowning. Thats not funny.
What, you can make death jokes, but I cant? His morbid sense of humor used to worry me, but now I understood it. Eternity is hard to face when you cant find anything to laugh about. Yet jokes couldnt hide the truth. I was conscious, and warm, andpreserved. But I wasnt alive, and I never would be again. Faking it was the best I could do. He and I had that in common.
I would have done anything to keep you from dying. Tod slid one hand slowly down my arm, leaving a trail of chills in its wake. This would have been just as amazing while you were alive.
That wasnever part of the plan, I said. We just didnt know it. Not until hed seen my name on the list of souls scheduled to be reaped. And because Id already had my one allowed death-date exchange, there was nothing Tod, or my dad, or anyone else, could do to save me. Besides, there are advantages to the afterlife. For instance, if I were to do this I pushed him gently but firmly onto his back, then I straddled him no one could see us unless we wanted them to. And we did not.
A valid point He reached for my hips, and I hated both layers of clothing between us almost as much as I loved the look in his eyes, part surprise, part heat, and no hint of an objection.
And if I were to do this I leaned forward and kissed the edge of his jaw, and Tod groaned as my shift in position created a delicious friction between us and you were to make that sound you just made, no one could hear you unless you wanted to be heard.
His hands tightened on my hips, pressing me tighter into him as my lips trailed down his jaw toward his neck, over the pale, late-night stubble hed died with. What happened to the good little girl who blushed and covered her face at the thought of what youre doing right now?
She died, I whispered into his ear.
That girl had felt alive with every breath shed taken, even knowing shed soon breathe her last. This onethe restored meonly felt alive when she experienced very strong emotions, which Madeline had assured me was perfectly normal. And so far the only strong emotions I actually enjoyed were the ones I felt when I was with Tod.
Why? You like the good girl better? I asked.
I know her better. Tods hand slid up my back beneath my shirt. But this ones certainly making me wish Id shown up for invisi-lunch. Hed texted me halfway through lunch to say he couldnt make it.
I laughed, then rolled off of him and onto my side, watching his profile from inches away. What could possibly compete with the lure of cafeteria food, adolescent conversation, and hostile company?
I spent two hours trying to question reapers without sounding like I was questioning them. What do you think it says about us as a group, that every reaper I know is either irritable, egotistical, voyeuristic, or some combination of the three?
That you fit in well?
Ha, ha.
So, had any of them seen Thane?
Not that they told me. But I cant be sure, because I couldnt come right out and ask. It was probably a waste of time that would have been better spent with you. What did I miss at lunch?
