“That’s sweet, but it doesn’t help with that.” I looked down at the bulge in his pants and smiled.
He laughed lightheartedly and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “True, if you still want to take care of me after we talk, then I’ll let you.” He held me tight and I had a sick feeling in my stomach that he knew it might be the last time he held me.
***
I decided to shower before we sat down to talk. I needed to clear my head after our morning interlude in the kitchen. Jack showered after me, while I did a half ass job of blow drying my hair and threw on a little mascara. I watched in the reflection in the mirror as he came out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel. I didn’t think I would ever get used to how beautiful the man was. Everything about him was just so damn masculine and sexy. His body was worthy of worship and I knew that he worked hard at maintaining it. God just didn’t make creatures look like that, shit like that came from a lot of hours in the gym.
I was frozen in the mirror when he dropped the towel and pulled on the jeans from the night before without anything underneath. He still had a full erection and, oddly, I found it endearing that he hadn’t taken care of it in the shower. I was so caught up in feasting on his body with my eyes, that I didn’t notice he was watching me watch him through the mirror. He lifted his arms over his head to put on his shirt and all of the muscles in his shoulders and pecks flexed. “If you keep looking at me like that, we aren’t going to have that talk today.” He pulled the shirt down over his flat stomach, obscuring my view of his sexy as hell happy trail.
Shit. He had caught me when my mouth had been literally hanging open. I was just glad that I wasn’t actually drooling when I was caught. His sexy eyes were dark and I was certain he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. But I needed to have a clear head when we spoke and figure out what was going on between us. “Full of yourself aren’t you?”
I watched as he walked up behind me in the mirror and put his hands on my shoulders. His eyes never left mine in the mirror as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’d much rather be filling you baby.” His words sent a shiver down my spine and he knew my body reacted to him.
“Well let’s get this talk over with then, shall we?” I was teasing, but the smile van-ished from his face. He was nervous about our talk and it made me scared of what I was about to hear.
We sat down in the living room. I curled my feet up underneath me on the couch and he sat across from me in the chair. “So do I get ten more questions?” I tried to break the tension in the room with a teasing first question. He smiled but the smile didn’t make it up to his eyes.
“What do you know about me and my work Syd?” His voice was serious.
“Well, I know that you own 51% of the Heston Hotel chain, you pointed that out to your father backstage last week.”
“I do. My grandfather started the hotel chain and gave my father 49% when he was old enough to get involved in the business. Then when he died, he left 49% to me and 2% to my mother. We had all expected that my mother’s will would leave both my father and I each 1% when she died, so that we were equal partners, but she didn’t. She left me the 2%, giving me controlling interest in the hotels. I didn’t think she knew about my father’s affairs when she was alive, but after her will was read, I realized that she did.”
Wow, there was a lot of screwed up information there, but that didn’t sound like something that would send me running for the hills. “I take it your father wasn’t happy about your having more control of the business then him?”
“My father doesn’t like anyone but him to have any control.” Hmmm…maybe there was more there than I thought. Did he realize that the apple didn’t appear to fall far from the tree on the control issue? “Okay.” I dragged the word out, letting him know that I was waiting for more.
“The hotels aren’t my only business.” He paused and looked into my eyes. “Do you remember me telling you that I invested in a business to embarrass my father?” I shook my head, waiting for the rest.
“I own a production company.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a deep breath.
“Okay.”
My brows furrowed in confusion.
“I own the largest p**n film production company in the United States, Syd. My other business is making p**n .” He watched me intently, waiting for my reaction. My first thought was, okay, that isn’t so bad. But then memories of our past conversations came flooding back and I started to put together the pieces of the puzzle.
He had 500 to 1,000 partners? He is amazing in bed? That women, with the over the top appearance at the conference, he said he brought her to piss off his father, was she an actress? I felt the bile in my stomach rise to my throat and it stung as I opened my mouth to speak. “Have you ever been in one of the films?” I held my breath waiting for the answer.
“No.” His response was immediate and unwavering.
“Have you been with any of the actresses?”
“Yes.”
My heart clenched. “Was the woman that you were with last weekend at the conference an actress?”
“Yes.”
“Is she your girlfriend? Were you with her after you got back from Hawaii?” The thought of him being with her after the week that we had shared made me sick. The tears filled my eyes and I looked away, fighting back their escape.
“No, I didn’t lie to you. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was a teenager. And I wasn’t with her after I got back from Hawaii.”
He moved from the chair to sit next to me on the couch and I kept my head turned from him. I wanted to hide my emotions.
He took my face in his hands and gently forced me to look at him. I saw pain in his eyes when the tears started flowing from down my cheeks.
He looked into my eyes as he spoke.
“Syd, I’m not proud of who I am or things that I have done. And I know I don’t deserve you. You’re sweet and good and everything that I’m not. I tried to keep away so you wouldn’t get hurt, but I can’t help myself when it comes to you. I never wanted to be with a woman, the way I want to be with you. I want to get lay under the stars with you and talk for hours, and walk in the park holding your hand. You make me feel like I can be a better man when I’m around you.
I’m terrified of the things you make me feel and I don’t know how to control it.” I buried my head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around me while my tears turned into sobs. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, I was just so wrought with emotions and everything he had shared that I couldn’t help but explode. Jack stroked my head until I slowly calmed in his arms. “You okay baby?” He whispered.
He laughed lightheartedly and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “True, if you still want to take care of me after we talk, then I’ll let you.” He held me tight and I had a sick feeling in my stomach that he knew it might be the last time he held me.
***
I decided to shower before we sat down to talk. I needed to clear my head after our morning interlude in the kitchen. Jack showered after me, while I did a half ass job of blow drying my hair and threw on a little mascara. I watched in the reflection in the mirror as he came out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel. I didn’t think I would ever get used to how beautiful the man was. Everything about him was just so damn masculine and sexy. His body was worthy of worship and I knew that he worked hard at maintaining it. God just didn’t make creatures look like that, shit like that came from a lot of hours in the gym.
I was frozen in the mirror when he dropped the towel and pulled on the jeans from the night before without anything underneath. He still had a full erection and, oddly, I found it endearing that he hadn’t taken care of it in the shower. I was so caught up in feasting on his body with my eyes, that I didn’t notice he was watching me watch him through the mirror. He lifted his arms over his head to put on his shirt and all of the muscles in his shoulders and pecks flexed. “If you keep looking at me like that, we aren’t going to have that talk today.” He pulled the shirt down over his flat stomach, obscuring my view of his sexy as hell happy trail.
Shit. He had caught me when my mouth had been literally hanging open. I was just glad that I wasn’t actually drooling when I was caught. His sexy eyes were dark and I was certain he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. But I needed to have a clear head when we spoke and figure out what was going on between us. “Full of yourself aren’t you?”
I watched as he walked up behind me in the mirror and put his hands on my shoulders. His eyes never left mine in the mirror as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’d much rather be filling you baby.” His words sent a shiver down my spine and he knew my body reacted to him.
“Well let’s get this talk over with then, shall we?” I was teasing, but the smile van-ished from his face. He was nervous about our talk and it made me scared of what I was about to hear.
We sat down in the living room. I curled my feet up underneath me on the couch and he sat across from me in the chair. “So do I get ten more questions?” I tried to break the tension in the room with a teasing first question. He smiled but the smile didn’t make it up to his eyes.
“What do you know about me and my work Syd?” His voice was serious.
“Well, I know that you own 51% of the Heston Hotel chain, you pointed that out to your father backstage last week.”
“I do. My grandfather started the hotel chain and gave my father 49% when he was old enough to get involved in the business. Then when he died, he left 49% to me and 2% to my mother. We had all expected that my mother’s will would leave both my father and I each 1% when she died, so that we were equal partners, but she didn’t. She left me the 2%, giving me controlling interest in the hotels. I didn’t think she knew about my father’s affairs when she was alive, but after her will was read, I realized that she did.”
Wow, there was a lot of screwed up information there, but that didn’t sound like something that would send me running for the hills. “I take it your father wasn’t happy about your having more control of the business then him?”
“My father doesn’t like anyone but him to have any control.” Hmmm…maybe there was more there than I thought. Did he realize that the apple didn’t appear to fall far from the tree on the control issue? “Okay.” I dragged the word out, letting him know that I was waiting for more.
“The hotels aren’t my only business.” He paused and looked into my eyes. “Do you remember me telling you that I invested in a business to embarrass my father?” I shook my head, waiting for the rest.
“I own a production company.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a deep breath.
“Okay.”
My brows furrowed in confusion.
“I own the largest p**n film production company in the United States, Syd. My other business is making p**n .” He watched me intently, waiting for my reaction. My first thought was, okay, that isn’t so bad. But then memories of our past conversations came flooding back and I started to put together the pieces of the puzzle.
He had 500 to 1,000 partners? He is amazing in bed? That women, with the over the top appearance at the conference, he said he brought her to piss off his father, was she an actress? I felt the bile in my stomach rise to my throat and it stung as I opened my mouth to speak. “Have you ever been in one of the films?” I held my breath waiting for the answer.
“No.” His response was immediate and unwavering.
“Have you been with any of the actresses?”
“Yes.”
My heart clenched. “Was the woman that you were with last weekend at the conference an actress?”
“Yes.”
“Is she your girlfriend? Were you with her after you got back from Hawaii?” The thought of him being with her after the week that we had shared made me sick. The tears filled my eyes and I looked away, fighting back their escape.
“No, I didn’t lie to you. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was a teenager. And I wasn’t with her after I got back from Hawaii.”
He moved from the chair to sit next to me on the couch and I kept my head turned from him. I wanted to hide my emotions.
He took my face in his hands and gently forced me to look at him. I saw pain in his eyes when the tears started flowing from down my cheeks.
He looked into my eyes as he spoke.
“Syd, I’m not proud of who I am or things that I have done. And I know I don’t deserve you. You’re sweet and good and everything that I’m not. I tried to keep away so you wouldn’t get hurt, but I can’t help myself when it comes to you. I never wanted to be with a woman, the way I want to be with you. I want to get lay under the stars with you and talk for hours, and walk in the park holding your hand. You make me feel like I can be a better man when I’m around you.
I’m terrified of the things you make me feel and I don’t know how to control it.” I buried my head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around me while my tears turned into sobs. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, I was just so wrought with emotions and everything he had shared that I couldn’t help but explode. Jack stroked my head until I slowly calmed in his arms. “You okay baby?” He whispered.
