“It’s going good. He seems to be moving forward fairly well, reducing contact with his ex.”
She nods, crossing her legs and shifting towards me on the sofa. “So, he’s not really talking to her anymore?”
“Yeah, well, she’s not really talking to him either to be honest.”
“I wonder what she’ll do when he fully cuts contact, considering she doesn’t want him back but she doesn’t want him to move on.”
I ponder that. I hadn’t really thought of it. Roman has been chasing her for months, he’s been her backbone, he’s supported her even when she treated him like crap. He’s been a damned good person, so what will happen now he’s pulling back and she’s not getting all the attention she wants? Will she come on strong? Will she try and get him back just purely so she doesn’t have to be alone?
She’s definitely that kind of person.
My heart clenches, because as much as he tells me he’s over it, I know deep down he isn’t. When you break up with someone you have highs and lows, usually, right before you finally move on, you have a massive high of thinking you’re over it, then you come crashing back down, then only after that do you truly move on and accept that there is no hope for reconciliation.
Roman is on his high, partially because of me, partially because it’s been a good few months and he has had a chance to grieve some.
“Honestly,” I finally answer Matilda, “I think she will probably try, but I can’t see it lasting long. She’ll want his attention back, but she’ll still keep him at arm’s length and because of that, they’ll just repeat the same cycle.”
“Maybe he needs her to do that, though. Sometimes, especially in this case because it’s long distance, missing someone makes you put them on a pedestal. I honestly think the best thing sometimes is for them to re-attempt it or talk about re-attempting it because I believe it can be one of the only ways for people to see why it ended in the first place and actually move on properly.”
Yeah. Maybe. That thought sucks.
“If she gave in and took him back, she’d destroy him. That’s clear as day. Her feelings for him aren’t there, it would only last such a short while before she repeated the cycle. You don’t leave someone you are supposed to love and do all the things she did to him if your feelings are genuine. That’s not love. If she loved him, she wouldn’t have left in the first place, it really is that simple. Problems or not, if the love was pure, she would have told him and they would have worked through it together. That’s what couples do. No. He was a convenience for her, a way to escape reality, and the second she found someone else, she flicked him like he didn’t matter at all.”
Matilda frowns. “That’s so harsh. There are honestly no words to describe it. What sort of person is that cold? Truthfully? The worst part is, when she gets the flick from this other guy, and she will if she’s as selfish as she sounds, a hundred bucks says she considers taking him back temporarily until she finds something else to distract her.”
I frown, my heart clenching and anger bubbling in my chest. I’ll never understand it, not for as long as I live, how someone can be so utterly selfish and cruel. I don’t care if your feelings change and you do the right thing and break it off, at some point, that person was supposed to matter to you, and for that reason alone, they deserve, at the very least, a little respect.
“Oh, I have no doubt she’ll try at some point, but my guess is she won’t fully commit, she’ll just want his attention without actually giving it another go. She doesn’t love him, so she won’t want him around permanently again.”
Matilda nods. “She’s disgusting. Karma will bite her clean in the ass, and it’ll be exactly what she deserves.”
“Yeah, it will.”
“Just ... be careful, Molly. I can see you care about him, your feelings are genuine. He’s not fully past this yet, and this girl isn’t done messing with him. She seems like the type who will take and take and take until he finally gets the courage to say enough. He hasn’t done that yet, which means he’s not ready to, and that means he’s not really over it. If he was, he would have cut her out of his life.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, sighing.
“Be his friend, be there for him, but please, don’t do anything until he’s over it. You’ve just suffered through so much hurt, you’ll only create more.”
Guilt stabs me in the chest, because it’s already too late. I’ve already taken a step too close. I’ve already crossed the line.
“Yeah, I know, I’ll be careful,” I say, my voice empty, because I hate lying to my sister.
I hate it, because I know what she’s saying is true, and if I admit that to her, if I really open my heart to what’s happening, I know I’ll have to accept that she’s telling me what’s so incredibly obvious, and I’m being reckless with Roman. It’ll tell me I have to stop, to take a step back, to create distance, and right now, that’s the last thing I want.
But, I know, deep down in my heart, that he isn’t over it. I also know, even though I refuse to admit it to myself, that if she popped back now, he’d consider it, possibly even take her back. That would hurt me, more than I’m willing to admit.
So why the hell aren’t I stopping this?
Now it’s my turn to throw myself in front of the oncoming train, because that’s what I’m doing.
But I just ... can’t give up on him.
CHAPTER 16
“That asshole left you alone?” Jack asks, sitting down beside me once I’m done talking to Matilda. “Yeah.” I nod. “Thanks for covering for me while that bruise healed. If dad found out ...”
Jack takes my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t worry, I had a word to Michael. I didn’t think he’d be back anytime soon.”
I squeeze his hand back. “Thanks, Jack. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He studies me for a second, his eyes scanning my face. “You seem sad.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m fine, just deep in thought.”
“Something bothering you?”
So much is bothering me, and right now my heart feels heavy. It aches. I don’t know what to think or do. I know I have to make a choice right now—either I continue doing this with Roman, and risk getting hurt, or I put us back in the friend zone and just let that be what it is.
She nods, crossing her legs and shifting towards me on the sofa. “So, he’s not really talking to her anymore?”
“Yeah, well, she’s not really talking to him either to be honest.”
“I wonder what she’ll do when he fully cuts contact, considering she doesn’t want him back but she doesn’t want him to move on.”
I ponder that. I hadn’t really thought of it. Roman has been chasing her for months, he’s been her backbone, he’s supported her even when she treated him like crap. He’s been a damned good person, so what will happen now he’s pulling back and she’s not getting all the attention she wants? Will she come on strong? Will she try and get him back just purely so she doesn’t have to be alone?
She’s definitely that kind of person.
My heart clenches, because as much as he tells me he’s over it, I know deep down he isn’t. When you break up with someone you have highs and lows, usually, right before you finally move on, you have a massive high of thinking you’re over it, then you come crashing back down, then only after that do you truly move on and accept that there is no hope for reconciliation.
Roman is on his high, partially because of me, partially because it’s been a good few months and he has had a chance to grieve some.
“Honestly,” I finally answer Matilda, “I think she will probably try, but I can’t see it lasting long. She’ll want his attention back, but she’ll still keep him at arm’s length and because of that, they’ll just repeat the same cycle.”
“Maybe he needs her to do that, though. Sometimes, especially in this case because it’s long distance, missing someone makes you put them on a pedestal. I honestly think the best thing sometimes is for them to re-attempt it or talk about re-attempting it because I believe it can be one of the only ways for people to see why it ended in the first place and actually move on properly.”
Yeah. Maybe. That thought sucks.
“If she gave in and took him back, she’d destroy him. That’s clear as day. Her feelings for him aren’t there, it would only last such a short while before she repeated the cycle. You don’t leave someone you are supposed to love and do all the things she did to him if your feelings are genuine. That’s not love. If she loved him, she wouldn’t have left in the first place, it really is that simple. Problems or not, if the love was pure, she would have told him and they would have worked through it together. That’s what couples do. No. He was a convenience for her, a way to escape reality, and the second she found someone else, she flicked him like he didn’t matter at all.”
Matilda frowns. “That’s so harsh. There are honestly no words to describe it. What sort of person is that cold? Truthfully? The worst part is, when she gets the flick from this other guy, and she will if she’s as selfish as she sounds, a hundred bucks says she considers taking him back temporarily until she finds something else to distract her.”
I frown, my heart clenching and anger bubbling in my chest. I’ll never understand it, not for as long as I live, how someone can be so utterly selfish and cruel. I don’t care if your feelings change and you do the right thing and break it off, at some point, that person was supposed to matter to you, and for that reason alone, they deserve, at the very least, a little respect.
“Oh, I have no doubt she’ll try at some point, but my guess is she won’t fully commit, she’ll just want his attention without actually giving it another go. She doesn’t love him, so she won’t want him around permanently again.”
Matilda nods. “She’s disgusting. Karma will bite her clean in the ass, and it’ll be exactly what she deserves.”
“Yeah, it will.”
“Just ... be careful, Molly. I can see you care about him, your feelings are genuine. He’s not fully past this yet, and this girl isn’t done messing with him. She seems like the type who will take and take and take until he finally gets the courage to say enough. He hasn’t done that yet, which means he’s not ready to, and that means he’s not really over it. If he was, he would have cut her out of his life.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, sighing.
“Be his friend, be there for him, but please, don’t do anything until he’s over it. You’ve just suffered through so much hurt, you’ll only create more.”
Guilt stabs me in the chest, because it’s already too late. I’ve already taken a step too close. I’ve already crossed the line.
“Yeah, I know, I’ll be careful,” I say, my voice empty, because I hate lying to my sister.
I hate it, because I know what she’s saying is true, and if I admit that to her, if I really open my heart to what’s happening, I know I’ll have to accept that she’s telling me what’s so incredibly obvious, and I’m being reckless with Roman. It’ll tell me I have to stop, to take a step back, to create distance, and right now, that’s the last thing I want.
But, I know, deep down in my heart, that he isn’t over it. I also know, even though I refuse to admit it to myself, that if she popped back now, he’d consider it, possibly even take her back. That would hurt me, more than I’m willing to admit.
So why the hell aren’t I stopping this?
Now it’s my turn to throw myself in front of the oncoming train, because that’s what I’m doing.
But I just ... can’t give up on him.
CHAPTER 16
“That asshole left you alone?” Jack asks, sitting down beside me once I’m done talking to Matilda. “Yeah.” I nod. “Thanks for covering for me while that bruise healed. If dad found out ...”
Jack takes my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t worry, I had a word to Michael. I didn’t think he’d be back anytime soon.”
I squeeze his hand back. “Thanks, Jack. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He studies me for a second, his eyes scanning my face. “You seem sad.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m fine, just deep in thought.”
“Something bothering you?”
So much is bothering me, and right now my heart feels heavy. It aches. I don’t know what to think or do. I know I have to make a choice right now—either I continue doing this with Roman, and risk getting hurt, or I put us back in the friend zone and just let that be what it is.
