Better When He's Bold
Page 79
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“It’ll be all right.” I wanted to sound reassuring, but I just sounded tired and sad.
“I hope so. Things haven’t been all right in a long time.”
Hearing that twisted my guts into knots, so I tugged her closer. “I’m so sorry for that.”
She sighed and jabbed me with her elbow like we used to do when we were younger and roughhoused with one another.
“You’ve always done whatever you could to make it all seem okay, Brysen, but if no one else in the family is willing to keep up the façade, then the cracks show. It’s not your fault.”
“No, but I’m not giving up on us.”
Her mahogany eyes flashed at me. “I know you won’t.”
I guided her out of the waiting area to the front doors of the facility. It looked less like a hospital and more like a nice spa that middle-class ladies would spend an afternoon at. When we hit the parking lot I put my sunglasses on and noticed that Karsen’s gaze immediately went to the big black truck that was parked a few spaces over from my BMW.
“Why is that guy following you around again?”
She made no secret of the fact she was staring at the brute in the driver’s seat and I didn’t like the way he flashed his teeth at her like a hungry wolf. She had asked me repeatedly why the darkly brooding man and his massive truck always seemed to be around when we went anywhere, and pat answers weren’t cutting it anymore, so I told her the truth.
“Because Race is worried about me. Someone was spying on me through my old computer and then tried to hurt me after work. Race knows some pretty scary people, Booker is apparently one of them, and he’s hoping that having a pseudo bodyguard will keep my stalker at bay.”
The news about my computer had literally made me break down. I cried for an hour and then yelled at Race when he asked me who could’ve possibly downloaded the spyware onto it. If I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. After I hung up on him and then paced a hole in the floor, I started to feel guilty for taking out my frustration on the one person trying to help me out. Before I could call him and apologize, he had sent me a text with Booker’s picture attached and told me I had a new shadow. The mountain of a man was going to follow me everywhere whether I liked it or not. Then Race texted that if I ever hung up on him again, he would be at my door within ten minutes and I wouldn’t love the results. It irked me that he was threatening me, but I got where he was coming from, so I just said I was sorry and told him I couldn’t wait until he did show up at my door.
Of course, Karsen, with her romantic and unfettered mind, focused on the part of my statement that was the least important.
“So Race is like your boyfriend now?”
I cut her a sideways look and popped the locks on my car. After we slid inside and fastened our seat belts, I told her, “I don’t really think Race is the boyfriend type.”
She rolled her head to the side and looked out the passenger window. It took me a second to realize she was staring fixedly at the mirror and the truck behind us.
“But he has someone protecting you and he helped you with Mom, plus he calls and texts you all the time, and I know those nights you don’t come home after work you’re staying with him. So if he’s not your boyfriend, what is he?”
I wasn’t really sure I had an answer to that question. He was a lot of things, not just to me, but in general.
“He’s important to me and I know he cares about me. I’ve had a pretty big crush on him for a long time, but he’s from a different type of world than I am, and I’m still trying to figure out if I can fit into it.”
She turned her head back to look at me and I saw her start to pick at the threads on her jeans where there was a hole on her knee.
“Because he lives in the Point?”
I snorted. If only it was that easy to explain.
“No. Race didn’t start out in the Point, but now that he’s there, he’s kind of decided that he’s going to be in charge of what’s going on in the place. He’s not exactly a law-abiding citizen, and even though I think at his core he is a good man making hard choices, those choices suck and they affect more than just him. I’m not sure I can be part of that, even if I want to be with him.”
She shifted her gaze back to the mirror and her voice dropped.
“If he’s nice to you, takes care of you, and makes you happy, the choices he has to make that affect others shouldn’t matter. People are always hurting each other, and if you have a guy going out of his way to not hurt you, well, that’s what matters. Rich, poor, and everything in between.”
“I hope so. Things haven’t been all right in a long time.”
Hearing that twisted my guts into knots, so I tugged her closer. “I’m so sorry for that.”
She sighed and jabbed me with her elbow like we used to do when we were younger and roughhoused with one another.
“You’ve always done whatever you could to make it all seem okay, Brysen, but if no one else in the family is willing to keep up the façade, then the cracks show. It’s not your fault.”
“No, but I’m not giving up on us.”
Her mahogany eyes flashed at me. “I know you won’t.”
I guided her out of the waiting area to the front doors of the facility. It looked less like a hospital and more like a nice spa that middle-class ladies would spend an afternoon at. When we hit the parking lot I put my sunglasses on and noticed that Karsen’s gaze immediately went to the big black truck that was parked a few spaces over from my BMW.
“Why is that guy following you around again?”
She made no secret of the fact she was staring at the brute in the driver’s seat and I didn’t like the way he flashed his teeth at her like a hungry wolf. She had asked me repeatedly why the darkly brooding man and his massive truck always seemed to be around when we went anywhere, and pat answers weren’t cutting it anymore, so I told her the truth.
“Because Race is worried about me. Someone was spying on me through my old computer and then tried to hurt me after work. Race knows some pretty scary people, Booker is apparently one of them, and he’s hoping that having a pseudo bodyguard will keep my stalker at bay.”
The news about my computer had literally made me break down. I cried for an hour and then yelled at Race when he asked me who could’ve possibly downloaded the spyware onto it. If I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. After I hung up on him and then paced a hole in the floor, I started to feel guilty for taking out my frustration on the one person trying to help me out. Before I could call him and apologize, he had sent me a text with Booker’s picture attached and told me I had a new shadow. The mountain of a man was going to follow me everywhere whether I liked it or not. Then Race texted that if I ever hung up on him again, he would be at my door within ten minutes and I wouldn’t love the results. It irked me that he was threatening me, but I got where he was coming from, so I just said I was sorry and told him I couldn’t wait until he did show up at my door.
Of course, Karsen, with her romantic and unfettered mind, focused on the part of my statement that was the least important.
“So Race is like your boyfriend now?”
I cut her a sideways look and popped the locks on my car. After we slid inside and fastened our seat belts, I told her, “I don’t really think Race is the boyfriend type.”
She rolled her head to the side and looked out the passenger window. It took me a second to realize she was staring fixedly at the mirror and the truck behind us.
“But he has someone protecting you and he helped you with Mom, plus he calls and texts you all the time, and I know those nights you don’t come home after work you’re staying with him. So if he’s not your boyfriend, what is he?”
I wasn’t really sure I had an answer to that question. He was a lot of things, not just to me, but in general.
“He’s important to me and I know he cares about me. I’ve had a pretty big crush on him for a long time, but he’s from a different type of world than I am, and I’m still trying to figure out if I can fit into it.”
She turned her head back to look at me and I saw her start to pick at the threads on her jeans where there was a hole on her knee.
“Because he lives in the Point?”
I snorted. If only it was that easy to explain.
“No. Race didn’t start out in the Point, but now that he’s there, he’s kind of decided that he’s going to be in charge of what’s going on in the place. He’s not exactly a law-abiding citizen, and even though I think at his core he is a good man making hard choices, those choices suck and they affect more than just him. I’m not sure I can be part of that, even if I want to be with him.”
She shifted her gaze back to the mirror and her voice dropped.
“If he’s nice to you, takes care of you, and makes you happy, the choices he has to make that affect others shouldn’t matter. People are always hurting each other, and if you have a guy going out of his way to not hurt you, well, that’s what matters. Rich, poor, and everything in between.”
