Beyond the Consequences
Page 48
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The sadness or fear he’d seen when their eyes first met dissipated as she gazed upward and her cheeks lifted. “You’re not upset?”
Tony put her down, reached for her hand, and led her to the balcony sofa. Though concerns and questions flooded his mind, once he and Claire were seated, Tony reached out and covered her midsection. “You’re sure? We have a baby in there?”
Claire nodded and smiled as a tear trickled down her cheek. “We do. I mean the home pregnancy test said we do. I haven’t called the doctor. I wanted to tell you first.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I wanted to tell you in person. I think I was afraid that you’d be upset.”
“Upset?” he asked.
“Yes.” She looked down at his hand still resting on her tummy and covered it with her own. “We were supposed to wait.”
He reached gently for her chin. “Well, I don’t think I could be upset. I mean, if this happened that night in New York, we’re equally responsible.” He sat taller. “And the way I see it, Mrs. Rawlings, we have a new little Rawlings who wants to enter this world. There’s nothing in that sentence that could make me upset.”
As their lips touched and her petite body moved closer, Tony tasted her salty tears and the rest of the world disappeared. The gleeful noises from the play yard no longer registered, nor did the gentle summer breeze or streaming evening sunshine. Tony’s world was only her: his wife, happy and content in his arms when moments earlier she’d been upset. When their connection finally broke, he heard the words that washed over him, filling him like nothing else.
“I love you so much. I imagined your reaction many ways, but this was better than anything I ever envisioned.”
“Tomorrow we’re going to your doctor. Let me know the time, and I’ll be there.”
Claire giggled as she wiped her cheek. “It doesn’t work that way. I have to call for an appointment. They probably won’t be able to get me in for a few days.”
He bowed his head until their foreheads touched. “Tomorrow. I want you seen tomorrow.” Tony was sure his tone left no room for debate. He’d be happy to use it on some unsuspecting receptionist if necessary. “Do you want me to call?”
Her eyes closed and head moved from side to side. “Oh, no. I don’t want that. I’ll call.”
“And tomorrow…”
“Yes, Tony, tomorrow. I’ll call you after I talk to the office and you can meet me there.”
“I’ll meet both of you there.”
Her neck straightened. “I’m capable of driving.”
As she spoke, his grin returned. “I wasn’t speaking of Roach or Taylor, though you know I prefer that.” His hand returned to her midsection. “I meant you and our little one.”
The colorful water continued to ebb and flow as Tony imagined the baby growing within his wife. In time it would change her as Nichol had done. He remembered how radiant she looked—well, up until the end of Nichol’s pregnancy. Then Claire looked miserable. Since that evening when he learned of their impending arrival, Tony’s mood had fluctuated from joy to despair, everything in between, and back to joy. Hell, with as mixed up as he felt, some days he felt as though it could be he who was pregnant. There was no question: if he could, he would. Tony refused—absolutely refused—to allow anything to harm Claire, including their child. Then he’d remember that the doctors had given their clearance. They’d proclaimed Claire healthy enough to have a child. The OB/GYN had even addressed the issue of Nichol’s birth. She didn’t expect there to be anything like that this time, but if it occurred, they had a state-of-the art hospital and a C-section would be done right away.
When he wasn’t thinking about the possible consequences of their decision, Tony concentrated on the new life, the new Rawlings. For a man who’d never expected to have children or be a father, his heart felt like it could literally burst. Never had he imagined the joy of children—the joy of a family. What he and Claire shared was nothing like what he’d known as a child, and at times it was overwhelming. Truthfully, the overabundance of love Tony felt for the tiny being that at this point was only evidenced by a blue plus sign on a white stick and the doctor’s confirmation even surprised him.
Tony now understood that he’d wasted too much of his life trying to make the Rawls in him and his past proud, trying to achieve acceptance from a ghost. Then again, was that true? If he hadn’t had the obsession, if he hadn’t spent his first forty-plus years righting unexplained wrongs, then he wouldn’t have waited for the woman before him, the one floating with a suddenly mischievous smile. His cheeks rose as he wondered what she was thinking. No, he’d never again regret the years he lost. If he did, he’d regret the life he now had, and that wasn’t possible.
Removing his jacket, Tony flung it over his shoulder and moved closer to the pool’s edge. With each step, he wondered how to get Claire’s attention. With her ears submersed, she probably wouldn’t hear him. Should he splash her? The idea of removing his clothes and diving into the water was appealing, but times had changed. For one thing, there was Nichol. As much as Tony doubted that she’d awaken and make her way down to the pool, he didn’t want to take the chance. The other difference was the woman who dominated his thoughts and currently his vision. His wife deserved better than to be seen on estate security in a compromising position.
Tony put her down, reached for her hand, and led her to the balcony sofa. Though concerns and questions flooded his mind, once he and Claire were seated, Tony reached out and covered her midsection. “You’re sure? We have a baby in there?”
Claire nodded and smiled as a tear trickled down her cheek. “We do. I mean the home pregnancy test said we do. I haven’t called the doctor. I wanted to tell you first.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I wanted to tell you in person. I think I was afraid that you’d be upset.”
“Upset?” he asked.
“Yes.” She looked down at his hand still resting on her tummy and covered it with her own. “We were supposed to wait.”
He reached gently for her chin. “Well, I don’t think I could be upset. I mean, if this happened that night in New York, we’re equally responsible.” He sat taller. “And the way I see it, Mrs. Rawlings, we have a new little Rawlings who wants to enter this world. There’s nothing in that sentence that could make me upset.”
As their lips touched and her petite body moved closer, Tony tasted her salty tears and the rest of the world disappeared. The gleeful noises from the play yard no longer registered, nor did the gentle summer breeze or streaming evening sunshine. Tony’s world was only her: his wife, happy and content in his arms when moments earlier she’d been upset. When their connection finally broke, he heard the words that washed over him, filling him like nothing else.
“I love you so much. I imagined your reaction many ways, but this was better than anything I ever envisioned.”
“Tomorrow we’re going to your doctor. Let me know the time, and I’ll be there.”
Claire giggled as she wiped her cheek. “It doesn’t work that way. I have to call for an appointment. They probably won’t be able to get me in for a few days.”
He bowed his head until their foreheads touched. “Tomorrow. I want you seen tomorrow.” Tony was sure his tone left no room for debate. He’d be happy to use it on some unsuspecting receptionist if necessary. “Do you want me to call?”
Her eyes closed and head moved from side to side. “Oh, no. I don’t want that. I’ll call.”
“And tomorrow…”
“Yes, Tony, tomorrow. I’ll call you after I talk to the office and you can meet me there.”
“I’ll meet both of you there.”
Her neck straightened. “I’m capable of driving.”
As she spoke, his grin returned. “I wasn’t speaking of Roach or Taylor, though you know I prefer that.” His hand returned to her midsection. “I meant you and our little one.”
The colorful water continued to ebb and flow as Tony imagined the baby growing within his wife. In time it would change her as Nichol had done. He remembered how radiant she looked—well, up until the end of Nichol’s pregnancy. Then Claire looked miserable. Since that evening when he learned of their impending arrival, Tony’s mood had fluctuated from joy to despair, everything in between, and back to joy. Hell, with as mixed up as he felt, some days he felt as though it could be he who was pregnant. There was no question: if he could, he would. Tony refused—absolutely refused—to allow anything to harm Claire, including their child. Then he’d remember that the doctors had given their clearance. They’d proclaimed Claire healthy enough to have a child. The OB/GYN had even addressed the issue of Nichol’s birth. She didn’t expect there to be anything like that this time, but if it occurred, they had a state-of-the art hospital and a C-section would be done right away.
When he wasn’t thinking about the possible consequences of their decision, Tony concentrated on the new life, the new Rawlings. For a man who’d never expected to have children or be a father, his heart felt like it could literally burst. Never had he imagined the joy of children—the joy of a family. What he and Claire shared was nothing like what he’d known as a child, and at times it was overwhelming. Truthfully, the overabundance of love Tony felt for the tiny being that at this point was only evidenced by a blue plus sign on a white stick and the doctor’s confirmation even surprised him.
Tony now understood that he’d wasted too much of his life trying to make the Rawls in him and his past proud, trying to achieve acceptance from a ghost. Then again, was that true? If he hadn’t had the obsession, if he hadn’t spent his first forty-plus years righting unexplained wrongs, then he wouldn’t have waited for the woman before him, the one floating with a suddenly mischievous smile. His cheeks rose as he wondered what she was thinking. No, he’d never again regret the years he lost. If he did, he’d regret the life he now had, and that wasn’t possible.
Removing his jacket, Tony flung it over his shoulder and moved closer to the pool’s edge. With each step, he wondered how to get Claire’s attention. With her ears submersed, she probably wouldn’t hear him. Should he splash her? The idea of removing his clothes and diving into the water was appealing, but times had changed. For one thing, there was Nichol. As much as Tony doubted that she’d awaken and make her way down to the pool, he didn’t want to take the chance. The other difference was the woman who dominated his thoughts and currently his vision. His wife deserved better than to be seen on estate security in a compromising position.
