Binding the Shadows
Page 76

It took several moments to sink in. “So I don’t have another being inside me?”
“You are something new that has never been seen.”
I squeezed my eyes shut in despair.
“My concern is for your immediate safety,” Priya said. “If the Moonchild part of you is strengthening, and your mother’s control over you with it, then you need to find a way to stop it from developing. Or a way to unmake it.”
I thought of what I saw when I was poking around inside Yvonne. “If the spell she used to create me is like the spell to create Earthbounds, it is impossible. Demon souls are fused inside human bodies. I can’t get rid of the Moonchild part of me unless I kill myself.”
He grasped my shoulders firmly. “You are not like the Kerubs. You are something very different. All magick can be unmade, or at least lessened. Start with the ritual your parents used to conceive you and work backwards.”
“I don’t know the spell! No one in my order knows it. They kept it secret. The only person who knew about it is dead. It’s lost—gone.”
“They did not invent the ritual,” Priya said softly. “They found it somewhere. Go to your order. Trace their path. Find the ritual. Once you have it, I am certain that we can uncover a way to undo what has been done or, at the very least, cut her bond to you.”
A growing hopelessness weighed me down. I wanted it all to go away. I wanted the small life I’d built. I wanted to be me.
I just didn’t know who that was anymore.
“This is impossible,” I whispered.
“Nothing is impossible, especially for you. You will find a way. And I will help you. I will be your scout, and I will help to protect those you love. The demon boy that is bound to you, I can feel his bond. I can appear to him as I appear to you. If he is in danger, I will cross the veil to protect him. Show him my sigil. He can call me.”
“Oh, God.”
“But you must act quickly. She has bragged that her connection to you may be strong enough in a matter of days or weeks.”
“Strong enough for what?”
Priya’s bare torso crackled.
“No, no, no!” I cried. “Don’t leave me. I need you.”
“I cannot stay.”
“What if she finds you? She’ll hurt you, too.”
“I am careful. At the moment she does not know I am alive or that we have bonded again. I have a new body. It is serving me well. But it does not serve me here, and I must leave.” His wings snapped open, blocking out the filtered moonlight. All I could see were two glossy eyes and the silver glint of his teeth. “Sleep in the daytime only. Do not relax your guard at night. Steel your emotions. Learn to hide your thoughts and create lies in your head—if she manages to connect with you again, you will need that skill before you find the Moonchild ritual.”
“Priya!”
“You need magical protection from her,” he insisted. “Go to your order. If they cannot help you solve the problem, their magicians can shield you until we can find a solution. I will return.” Without another word, he snapped away, disappearing in front of my face. Leaving me alone.
Alone and faced with the abysmal thought of going into hiding again.
I was a fool to think I could ever stop running.
I could never have a normal life. Everything I had was lost before I ever found it.
I didn’t go back to sleep that night. Instead, I walked the meandering road down Lon’s cliff, past Mr. and Mrs. Holiday’s cabin, to the beach. Foxglove kindly escorted me. I watched her sleek Labrador body exploring the driftwood-strewn sand as I sat on some big rocks where Lon and Jupe and I had once built a small bonfire. And I thought.
And thought.
I remembered my parents talking about some old grimoires they’d found in France that contained the ritual they used to conceive me. God only knew where those books were now. Destroyed, maybe. Brought over to the states? My occult order had taken over my parents’ house in Florida after I’d let Nivella take them to the Æthyr. Maybe the Caliph had found something in the house that could be helpful.
It was all such a fucking long shot.
But what else could I do? Sit around until I eventually hurt someone I cared about?
Then I thought of Dare. I couldn’t just run off to Florida and leave Lon and Jupe unprotected when that man was going around killing people who’ve looked at him crooked.
Couldn’t stay. Couldn’t leave. I didn’t know what I was going to do.
I sat thinking for hours. At some point before dawn, Foxglove ran back up the beach path toward the house and returned a couple of minutes later with Lon. I watched his fiery halo flickering across the dark beach as he approached. When he caught up to me, he sat down on the rock next to me. He didn’t ask me why I was out there. He merely pulled me into his arms and said, “Show me what’s wrong and we will fix it.”
• • •
Daylight crept over the beach. Feeling fairly confident I was out of my mom’s foul reach, Lon and I made the trek back up to the house. We hadn’t solved my problem, but at least Lon knew everything. And at that point I was exhausted and spent, and knew I needed to force myself to get rest sometime that day if I was going to stay up all night. I’d watched enough Freddy Krueger movies with Jupe to know that sleep depravation always came back to bite you on the ass.
“Get in bed and sleep,” Lon said. “Rose and Adella will be back from the hospital in a few hours. I need to get some work done, but I’ll come upstairs and wake you when they come.”