Bite Me
Page 34
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Dez looked at some papers she held in her hand. Melanie Kowalski. Nice little sheet you have here, Mel. She looked up, studied Melly. Have you been drinking, Miss Kowalski? Because according to what Ive read here, the judge
All right, all right! Melly crossed her arms over her chest. Ill clean up her apartment. Then, quite suddenly, she burst into tears. I just dont know why youre all being so mean to me!
It was quick, what Vic saw. But he knew hed seen it. The way Mellys cousins had looked at her. If theyd been full-blood honey badgers, they would have torn Melly apart, destroying her for being weak.
Oooo . . . kay. Vic glanced at Dez. Why dont you and Crush take the ladies to Livys apartment?
Youve got it.
Vic caught Livys arm before she could follow her cousins. Come on. Youre coming with me.
I cant, she said.
Well, you cant stay with Melly.
Fine. Then Ill go somewhere else.
Is there a reason you cant go with me?
Because at this moment, she said flatly, I can only think about wrapping my hands around your scrawny neck and choking you until you pass out or die.
Frowning, Vic brushed his free hand against his neck. I dont think anyones ever said I had a scrawny neck. Even when I was a baby. In grade school, they called me Big Neck Vic.
Its not you, Livy admitted. Im just projecting my feelings for my cousin onto you, which Ill admit is hardly fair. But Im . . . unbelievably tense.
Vic thought about that a moment. Tense? So tense that if some tourist came up to you and asked you how to catch the J Train, youre likely to beat them to death in the street?
Livy shrugged. Probably.
Vic opened the passenger door. Then you better get in.
Yeah, but
In. My scrawny neck can handle you . . . but some poor full-human just visiting for the day? He or she would probably not be so lucky. So get your ass in the car.
I guess you have a point. Livy walked toward the car.
So where are we going? Your house? she asked.
No. Someplace else. Youll like it.
Livy started to get in the SUV, but stopped, looked at Vic. I . . . appreciate all this, but Im still not ready to talk about
Im taking you someplace where you can relax. Thats it. Besides, Im not really in the mood to fix a bunch of badger holes in my house.
Her smilewas small, but there. And he was surprised how much he needed to see that smile.
CHAPTER 12
When Livy woke up, she had no idea where she was.
Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she tried to focus on the sights out her window. After a few minutes of staring, Livy finally asked Vic, Where the hell are we?
Massachusetts.
Livys head snapped around. Were where?
The great state of Massachusetts.
He sounded so damn cheerful about it, she wanted to deck him.
Why are we in the great state of Massachusetts?
I was trying to think of where I could take you that you could relax. I thought about Lake Baikal.
Lake Baikal? Livy gawked at the man. In Siberia?
Yeah. But that would be a lot of travel.
Before Livy could respond to that ridiculous statement, he pulled up to a roadblock manned by several uniformed police.
Great, Livy muttered. More cops.
Deputies, Vic corrected. And be nice.
Vic stopped his SUV and rolled down the window. One of the deputies walked over, rested his forearm against the window frame, and leaned down to look inside. Because he had to lean way down, and his head nearly filled the entire open window . . . Livy knew this was a bear. One of those bears who had to live out in the middle of nowhere because their ginormous head would freak out the everyday full-human schoolchild.
You brought me to bear territory? Livy asked.
Vic shrugged. Its one of the few places in the world I feel completely comfortable. And I assume if I feel comfortable, youll feel comfortable with me.
And that logic works for you?
For the moment.
The deputy eyed Vic, then Livy, then back to Vic.
Whatcha got there, Barinov? The deputy sniffed the air, his wide nose making a disturbing amount of noise. Dont recognize the scent. And we dont let just anybody into our little town.
This is Livy. Honey badger.
The deputys grin was wide. A honey badger? A real one? he asked with what sounded like true enthusiasm. Hey, guys, he said to the other deputies, weve got a real honey badger here!
The deputies suddenly crowded around the SUV, all of them staring into the vehicle to get a look at Livy. As if shed suddenly turned into a carnival sideshow.
She is just the cutest little thing, the first deputy said. Then he reached the longest arm Livy had ever seen on a human being across the cab and attempted to coochie-coo her face.
All right, all right! Melly crossed her arms over her chest. Ill clean up her apartment. Then, quite suddenly, she burst into tears. I just dont know why youre all being so mean to me!
It was quick, what Vic saw. But he knew hed seen it. The way Mellys cousins had looked at her. If theyd been full-blood honey badgers, they would have torn Melly apart, destroying her for being weak.
Oooo . . . kay. Vic glanced at Dez. Why dont you and Crush take the ladies to Livys apartment?
Youve got it.
Vic caught Livys arm before she could follow her cousins. Come on. Youre coming with me.
I cant, she said.
Well, you cant stay with Melly.
Fine. Then Ill go somewhere else.
Is there a reason you cant go with me?
Because at this moment, she said flatly, I can only think about wrapping my hands around your scrawny neck and choking you until you pass out or die.
Frowning, Vic brushed his free hand against his neck. I dont think anyones ever said I had a scrawny neck. Even when I was a baby. In grade school, they called me Big Neck Vic.
Its not you, Livy admitted. Im just projecting my feelings for my cousin onto you, which Ill admit is hardly fair. But Im . . . unbelievably tense.
Vic thought about that a moment. Tense? So tense that if some tourist came up to you and asked you how to catch the J Train, youre likely to beat them to death in the street?
Livy shrugged. Probably.
Vic opened the passenger door. Then you better get in.
Yeah, but
In. My scrawny neck can handle you . . . but some poor full-human just visiting for the day? He or she would probably not be so lucky. So get your ass in the car.
I guess you have a point. Livy walked toward the car.
So where are we going? Your house? she asked.
No. Someplace else. Youll like it.
Livy started to get in the SUV, but stopped, looked at Vic. I . . . appreciate all this, but Im still not ready to talk about
Im taking you someplace where you can relax. Thats it. Besides, Im not really in the mood to fix a bunch of badger holes in my house.
Her smilewas small, but there. And he was surprised how much he needed to see that smile.
CHAPTER 12
When Livy woke up, she had no idea where she was.
Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she tried to focus on the sights out her window. After a few minutes of staring, Livy finally asked Vic, Where the hell are we?
Massachusetts.
Livys head snapped around. Were where?
The great state of Massachusetts.
He sounded so damn cheerful about it, she wanted to deck him.
Why are we in the great state of Massachusetts?
I was trying to think of where I could take you that you could relax. I thought about Lake Baikal.
Lake Baikal? Livy gawked at the man. In Siberia?
Yeah. But that would be a lot of travel.
Before Livy could respond to that ridiculous statement, he pulled up to a roadblock manned by several uniformed police.
Great, Livy muttered. More cops.
Deputies, Vic corrected. And be nice.
Vic stopped his SUV and rolled down the window. One of the deputies walked over, rested his forearm against the window frame, and leaned down to look inside. Because he had to lean way down, and his head nearly filled the entire open window . . . Livy knew this was a bear. One of those bears who had to live out in the middle of nowhere because their ginormous head would freak out the everyday full-human schoolchild.
You brought me to bear territory? Livy asked.
Vic shrugged. Its one of the few places in the world I feel completely comfortable. And I assume if I feel comfortable, youll feel comfortable with me.
And that logic works for you?
For the moment.
The deputy eyed Vic, then Livy, then back to Vic.
Whatcha got there, Barinov? The deputy sniffed the air, his wide nose making a disturbing amount of noise. Dont recognize the scent. And we dont let just anybody into our little town.
This is Livy. Honey badger.
The deputys grin was wide. A honey badger? A real one? he asked with what sounded like true enthusiasm. Hey, guys, he said to the other deputies, weve got a real honey badger here!
The deputies suddenly crowded around the SUV, all of them staring into the vehicle to get a look at Livy. As if shed suddenly turned into a carnival sideshow.
She is just the cutest little thing, the first deputy said. Then he reached the longest arm Livy had ever seen on a human being across the cab and attempted to coochie-coo her face.