Knox slid his hands up to her shoulders. “It’s okay to have no words right now.” When he’d first heard the news, he’d been lost for words himself. Lightly kneading her shoulders, he added, “We know Crow’s still not rogue for the simple reason that she’s alive.” A rogue would kill without thought.
“But he’s so far from stable it’s not even funny.” Harper shoved a hand through her hair. “And yet, he hasn’t made another impulsive attempt to hurt you. Delia said he would target you; that he thinks he needs to kill you to save the world.” Knox’s mouth tightened, and she tensed. “He did try to get to you again, didn’t he?”
“He tried to get into the penthouse of the same hotel again. The guards recognized and subdued him immediately, but during the struggle he conjured a gun and starting shooting at people. There were humans around, so the guards were restricted as to what they could do to detain him. He got away again.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.
He shrugged. “I wasn’t even in the building at the time. It didn’t seem worth mentioning.”
“It didn’t seem worth mentioning?” she echoed, incredulous.
“Compared to the dangerous situations I’ve known in my life, that was nothing.”
Nothing? “It was an attempt on your life. It was something. You should have told me. You said that you would tell me immediately if he made another move to hurt you.”
“Baby, I wasn’t in the hotel. Even if I had been, it wouldn’t have mattered because he didn’t get into the hotel. The struggle happened on the steps. It barely counted as an incident.”
“I don’t care. You still should have told me.”
Sighing, he smoothed his hand over his jaw. “I’m not used to this.”
“What?”
“Having someone who cares.” He liked it, but he didn’t like being unsure in any situation. “Or having to explain myself to anyone.” Settling his hands on her shoulders, he drew her close. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you straight away. If Crow makes another move, I’ll tell you instantly.”
“Even if it doesn’t seem worth mentioning to you?”
“Even then.”
After a moment, she nodded. “Fine. Back to the original subject… where’s Carla?”
“At home. She’s been checked out; she has no infections or major blood loss. Her body is healing at an accelerated rate. She’s simply not awake yet. If you want to see her —”
“Her family aren’t going to let me in their house.” And Harper couldn’t blame them for that.
“We’re their Primes. They’ll do what we tell them to do.”
“But it’s not fair of me to barge in there when they’re worried about her. I’ll wait until she’s awake. If she asks to see me, I’ll go.” It needed to be Carla’s decision, because Harper wasn’t going to just walk into the woman’s home like she had every right to be there. Not that she thought for even a second that Carla would ever request to see her, but still.
Knox kissed her forehead. “All right.”
“Do you think she’ll blame me?” Harper asked, not even sure she wanted the answer. It shouldn’t even matter, but it did.
Not wanting to hurt her but not willing to lie, Knox said, “I’d like to say no, but I have no idea. It doesn’t matter if or how many people blame you, it will never make it your fault.”
“I know that.”
“But you feel guilty.”
“It doesn’t take a genius to work out why the guy removed her reproductive organs. It was a punishment for giving birth to me, for ‘putting things in motion.’”
“Because his mind is all kinds of fucked up right now. Not because of you.”
Intellectually, she knew that, but the guilt was there all the same. Especially because… “If he’d known that she tried to abort me, maybe he’d have taken pity on her.”
The lair only knew the story that Harper had grown up believing: that Carla dumped Harper on Jolene’s doorstep when she was just a baby. Harper, being such a private person, had chosen to keep the truth quiet. The only people within the lair who knew about it were Levi, who had uncovered most of it himself, and Carla’s mate after she confessed it to him.
Harper tried to step back, but Knox’s grip on her shoulders kept her in place. “I have to get to work,” she told him. She hadn’t yet closed what she was beginning to think of as “the old studio” and she had clients coming in.
“Maybe you should take the day off.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do that. I —”
“Baby, you’ve had a shock,” he said, cupping her face. “A shock you’re not sure how to process. Take the day off,” he coaxed.
“No, really, I’ll be fine.”
“Take it off. I’ll do the same.” His demon really liked that idea, loathed to leave her. “I can work from home.”
“I can’t stay home. If I sit here all day, I’ll think about it. Over and over. And I have no right to do that, Knox. It didn’t happen to me. It happened to her. I’m not her family.”
“But you get to feel how you feel.”
“I don’t know what I feel.”
Seeing his usually decisive mate so unsure of herself… it pissed Knox the fuck off. “If you need a distraction, fine.” He could understand that. “Go to work. But if you need a break, take it.” He kissed her. Softly. Gently. Thoroughly. “I love you.”
“But he’s so far from stable it’s not even funny.” Harper shoved a hand through her hair. “And yet, he hasn’t made another impulsive attempt to hurt you. Delia said he would target you; that he thinks he needs to kill you to save the world.” Knox’s mouth tightened, and she tensed. “He did try to get to you again, didn’t he?”
“He tried to get into the penthouse of the same hotel again. The guards recognized and subdued him immediately, but during the struggle he conjured a gun and starting shooting at people. There were humans around, so the guards were restricted as to what they could do to detain him. He got away again.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.
He shrugged. “I wasn’t even in the building at the time. It didn’t seem worth mentioning.”
“It didn’t seem worth mentioning?” she echoed, incredulous.
“Compared to the dangerous situations I’ve known in my life, that was nothing.”
Nothing? “It was an attempt on your life. It was something. You should have told me. You said that you would tell me immediately if he made another move to hurt you.”
“Baby, I wasn’t in the hotel. Even if I had been, it wouldn’t have mattered because he didn’t get into the hotel. The struggle happened on the steps. It barely counted as an incident.”
“I don’t care. You still should have told me.”
Sighing, he smoothed his hand over his jaw. “I’m not used to this.”
“What?”
“Having someone who cares.” He liked it, but he didn’t like being unsure in any situation. “Or having to explain myself to anyone.” Settling his hands on her shoulders, he drew her close. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you straight away. If Crow makes another move, I’ll tell you instantly.”
“Even if it doesn’t seem worth mentioning to you?”
“Even then.”
After a moment, she nodded. “Fine. Back to the original subject… where’s Carla?”
“At home. She’s been checked out; she has no infections or major blood loss. Her body is healing at an accelerated rate. She’s simply not awake yet. If you want to see her —”
“Her family aren’t going to let me in their house.” And Harper couldn’t blame them for that.
“We’re their Primes. They’ll do what we tell them to do.”
“But it’s not fair of me to barge in there when they’re worried about her. I’ll wait until she’s awake. If she asks to see me, I’ll go.” It needed to be Carla’s decision, because Harper wasn’t going to just walk into the woman’s home like she had every right to be there. Not that she thought for even a second that Carla would ever request to see her, but still.
Knox kissed her forehead. “All right.”
“Do you think she’ll blame me?” Harper asked, not even sure she wanted the answer. It shouldn’t even matter, but it did.
Not wanting to hurt her but not willing to lie, Knox said, “I’d like to say no, but I have no idea. It doesn’t matter if or how many people blame you, it will never make it your fault.”
“I know that.”
“But you feel guilty.”
“It doesn’t take a genius to work out why the guy removed her reproductive organs. It was a punishment for giving birth to me, for ‘putting things in motion.’”
“Because his mind is all kinds of fucked up right now. Not because of you.”
Intellectually, she knew that, but the guilt was there all the same. Especially because… “If he’d known that she tried to abort me, maybe he’d have taken pity on her.”
The lair only knew the story that Harper had grown up believing: that Carla dumped Harper on Jolene’s doorstep when she was just a baby. Harper, being such a private person, had chosen to keep the truth quiet. The only people within the lair who knew about it were Levi, who had uncovered most of it himself, and Carla’s mate after she confessed it to him.
Harper tried to step back, but Knox’s grip on her shoulders kept her in place. “I have to get to work,” she told him. She hadn’t yet closed what she was beginning to think of as “the old studio” and she had clients coming in.
“Maybe you should take the day off.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do that. I —”
“Baby, you’ve had a shock,” he said, cupping her face. “A shock you’re not sure how to process. Take the day off,” he coaxed.
“No, really, I’ll be fine.”
“Take it off. I’ll do the same.” His demon really liked that idea, loathed to leave her. “I can work from home.”
“I can’t stay home. If I sit here all day, I’ll think about it. Over and over. And I have no right to do that, Knox. It didn’t happen to me. It happened to her. I’m not her family.”
“But you get to feel how you feel.”
“I don’t know what I feel.”
Seeing his usually decisive mate so unsure of herself… it pissed Knox the fuck off. “If you need a distraction, fine.” He could understand that. “Go to work. But if you need a break, take it.” He kissed her. Softly. Gently. Thoroughly. “I love you.”
