Twenty minutes later we arrived at my house. No lights were on; J definitely wasn’t home. I didn’t move to unbuckle my belt, and Blade turned to me. “You sure you don’t want me to take you to my place?”
I undid my belt. “No, I’m going to wait here until he comes home and then we’re going to have it out.”
He nodded and got out of the car. I waited because I knew that he liked to open my door. A moment later he came around to my side, and then we headed inside together. I switched on lights and made my way to the kitchen. Blade joined me a couple of minutes later; he’d inspected the house first which was something he always did.
I eyed him. “No boogiemen?”
He ignored me. “You gonna tell me what the fuck happened tonight?”
I indicated that we should sit, and when we were both settled, I said, “It’s not just tonight.”
He reached his arm up and rubbed the back of his neck as he studied me. Then he brought his arm down, rested it on the table, and leant forward. “Madison, you call me at midnight, distressed and crying. You don’t tell me what’s wrong, except to ramble on about J being an asshole. Then you beg me to come and pick you up. I get there and see that Scott was already on the scene but you’ve chosen to go home with me over him. That tells me that something fucked up has happened. And I want to know what it is, because I sure as fuck want to have a word with whoever upset you.”
“It’s J,” I began, but started crying so didn’t continue.
“What did he do?” he asked, his voice calm but firm.
I wiped my eyes and got my tears under control. Lifting my face to his, I said, “He was supposed to drop me off and pick me up, but he changed the plans at the last minute and got Scott to drop me off. He didn’t even tell me; Scott just turned up. Then he didn’t come to get me, and Scott said he’d take me home. When I rang J to see where he was, Griff answered the phone and told me that J had passed out drunk at the clubhouse.”
Blade’s body tensed and he balled his hand into a fist. “I thought you two were good; thought you were talking marriage.”
I nodded. “So did I, but J’s slowly pulled away from me since he got back. We seem to have hit crisis point this week, and now he’s avoiding me.”
“You’ve got no idea why?”
“No, he keeps telling me it’s club problems but I don’t think there are any real club problems. I think it’s something to do with Dad.”
Blade frowned momentarily. “You mentioned that you’re going to have it out with him. Possibly not a good idea when he’s drunk or hungover.”
He was right, but I was so upset, angry and desperate for answers that I didn’t think I could wait till he sobered up. “I know,” I said softly, the tears threatening to fall again.
He watched me thoughtfully. “You’re not being you,” he stated.
“Huh?” I didn’t understand what he meant.
“I haven’t known you that long, but I’ve worked out that you’re a hothead. You’re very passionate, and your mouth goes off before your brain kicks into gear sometimes. And yet, you’ve let these problems with J go on for weeks without sorting it out. That doesn’t seem like something you would do, babe. What gives?”
“I’m trying to change, trying to be better. I’m trying not to nag him about sharing stuff with me because it’s caused us problems in the past.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“No, what?”
“No, you don’t change who you are for someone. Those things I mentioned about you are you, Madison. The people who have chosen to love you have also chosen to accept those things. So, fuck it, you don’t change for any-fucking-one.”
I just sat there and stared at him. “But I really did cause problems in our relationship when I nagged him to tell me stuff.”
“It takes two people to fuck up a relationship, not one. Sure, you don’t need to nag him about shit, but babe, when the man you love is pulling back, there’s a reason, and you have every fucking right to ask for that reason. And to keep asking until you get an honest answer.”
I thought about what he’d said and I realised he was right. I’d wasted so much time and let J slowly slip through my fingers. This shit needed sorting out and I was going to do it; to hell with what J thought of me nagging him on this.
I wiped the leftover tears off my cheek, and smiled at Blade. “Okay, I’m going to sort this out with him tomorrow. Thank you.”
He nodded. “Good.”
***
Jason
I sat at the clubhouse bar and drank my coffee. Stalling. Time was ticking and I needed to go home and face Madison. I’d fucked up last night and now I had to try and put it right.
“So, you still haven’t gone home?”
I turned to see Blade enter the room, a look of complete contempt on his face.
“None of your business, Blade,” I muttered.
“It is my business, asshole, when it involves my sister. She phoned me crying her fucking eyes out last night. You need to get your shit together and sort out the mess you’ve created.”
I undid my belt. “No, I’m going to wait here until he comes home and then we’re going to have it out.”
He nodded and got out of the car. I waited because I knew that he liked to open my door. A moment later he came around to my side, and then we headed inside together. I switched on lights and made my way to the kitchen. Blade joined me a couple of minutes later; he’d inspected the house first which was something he always did.
I eyed him. “No boogiemen?”
He ignored me. “You gonna tell me what the fuck happened tonight?”
I indicated that we should sit, and when we were both settled, I said, “It’s not just tonight.”
He reached his arm up and rubbed the back of his neck as he studied me. Then he brought his arm down, rested it on the table, and leant forward. “Madison, you call me at midnight, distressed and crying. You don’t tell me what’s wrong, except to ramble on about J being an asshole. Then you beg me to come and pick you up. I get there and see that Scott was already on the scene but you’ve chosen to go home with me over him. That tells me that something fucked up has happened. And I want to know what it is, because I sure as fuck want to have a word with whoever upset you.”
“It’s J,” I began, but started crying so didn’t continue.
“What did he do?” he asked, his voice calm but firm.
I wiped my eyes and got my tears under control. Lifting my face to his, I said, “He was supposed to drop me off and pick me up, but he changed the plans at the last minute and got Scott to drop me off. He didn’t even tell me; Scott just turned up. Then he didn’t come to get me, and Scott said he’d take me home. When I rang J to see where he was, Griff answered the phone and told me that J had passed out drunk at the clubhouse.”
Blade’s body tensed and he balled his hand into a fist. “I thought you two were good; thought you were talking marriage.”
I nodded. “So did I, but J’s slowly pulled away from me since he got back. We seem to have hit crisis point this week, and now he’s avoiding me.”
“You’ve got no idea why?”
“No, he keeps telling me it’s club problems but I don’t think there are any real club problems. I think it’s something to do with Dad.”
Blade frowned momentarily. “You mentioned that you’re going to have it out with him. Possibly not a good idea when he’s drunk or hungover.”
He was right, but I was so upset, angry and desperate for answers that I didn’t think I could wait till he sobered up. “I know,” I said softly, the tears threatening to fall again.
He watched me thoughtfully. “You’re not being you,” he stated.
“Huh?” I didn’t understand what he meant.
“I haven’t known you that long, but I’ve worked out that you’re a hothead. You’re very passionate, and your mouth goes off before your brain kicks into gear sometimes. And yet, you’ve let these problems with J go on for weeks without sorting it out. That doesn’t seem like something you would do, babe. What gives?”
“I’m trying to change, trying to be better. I’m trying not to nag him about sharing stuff with me because it’s caused us problems in the past.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“No, what?”
“No, you don’t change who you are for someone. Those things I mentioned about you are you, Madison. The people who have chosen to love you have also chosen to accept those things. So, fuck it, you don’t change for any-fucking-one.”
I just sat there and stared at him. “But I really did cause problems in our relationship when I nagged him to tell me stuff.”
“It takes two people to fuck up a relationship, not one. Sure, you don’t need to nag him about shit, but babe, when the man you love is pulling back, there’s a reason, and you have every fucking right to ask for that reason. And to keep asking until you get an honest answer.”
I thought about what he’d said and I realised he was right. I’d wasted so much time and let J slowly slip through my fingers. This shit needed sorting out and I was going to do it; to hell with what J thought of me nagging him on this.
I wiped the leftover tears off my cheek, and smiled at Blade. “Okay, I’m going to sort this out with him tomorrow. Thank you.”
He nodded. “Good.”
***
Jason
I sat at the clubhouse bar and drank my coffee. Stalling. Time was ticking and I needed to go home and face Madison. I’d fucked up last night and now I had to try and put it right.
“So, you still haven’t gone home?”
I turned to see Blade enter the room, a look of complete contempt on his face.
“None of your business, Blade,” I muttered.
“It is my business, asshole, when it involves my sister. She phoned me crying her fucking eyes out last night. You need to get your shit together and sort out the mess you’ve created.”
