"Mother of pearl! Did you guys think I was a slut and just hanging out with you two wall flowers in my spare time, ya know, in between tricks and what not? Why is everyone so surprised I'M A FREAKING VIRGIN? If you are so interested let me just throw out my reason and you can swallow it or choke on it okay?" She continued before they could answer. "I actually think sex is supposed to be for that one special person, and not just 'hey I love you let's do it'. I mean the one you decide to take on for life." Jen stood in the open bathroom door, wrapped in a towel.
"Are you saying you're going to wait to have sex until you're married?" Sally asked in complete shock.
"Geeze, Sally, is it really that hard to fathom? I know I joke about it a lot. I like to joke about it to see the shock on people's faces. But personally, my forever man is the only one getting a piece of all this hotness."
Jacque had just developed a newfound respect for her perverted friend. "Okay, three things. First, I'm totally digging what you're saying. I get it and I think it's great. Second, don't change. Because out of us three only you could get away with the things you say and we desperately need the comic relief. And last, I'm dying to point this out technically, Jen. You couldn't be a freaking virgin, it's an oxymoron."
"Good one, Vern." Sally bumped Jacques fist.
"I know, right?" Jacque smiled. "We learned from the best, Sal."
"You two hussies better not forget it, either," Jen growled at them.
"Are you done being mad at me?" Sally asked.
Jen glared at her for a minute. "Yeah," she said, waving her off. "I was having a really hard time staying mad anyway. I have to give you serious props for the whole 'Meet Virginia' bit, that was pure genius."
"I know." Sally dusted off each shoulder. "I got mad skills, yo."
"Had I known you were singing that because you had just found out about our perverted little friend's deep, dark secret, I seriously would have peed on myself from laughing so hard."
"So, Jen. You going to fess up to what Decebel whispered in your ear that caused you to stab the poor wolf?" Jacque asked her petulant friend.
"Where's Fane?" Jen asked, ignoring Jacque's question.
"He's sitting on the other side of that door, growling at anything and anyone that comes within a few feet of it," Jacque said, nodding her head towards said door. "Now answer the question, Jen."
Jen didn't answer right away, she wasn't sure how to answer if she was being honest with herself which was a practice that she liked to avoid because it usually lead to being reasonable, and frankly, where was the fun in that? Sally and Jacque waited patiently, not wanting to provoke Jen's as-of-late testy temper.
"I don't really knowwhat it means," Jen told them.
"Well, if you tell us we might be able to help you figure it out. You know we are good at figuring stuff out and what not."
"Oh, yes. How could I forget the mighty Sally and Jacque, super sleuthing divas," Jen said sarcastically.
"Hey, that has a ring to it," Jacque said thoughtfully.
"Jacque, focus." Sally elbowed her.
"He said," Jen began, and much to her amusement her two friends edged towards her, bodies leaning forward, hanging on her every word."You two are like two monkeys waiting for the tourist to throw you a banana peel."
"Jen, you do remember what monkeys like to throw back at those tourists, don't you? Spill it now," Sally growled.
"He dared me to give him a reason to kill someone if the time came that he called me Virginia and it no longer pertained to me." When Sally and Jacque didn't say anything, Jen looked up at them and saw that they were both wide eyed with their mouths hanging open. "Are you going to say something?"
Sally got up and began to pace the room, chewing on her bottom lip and muttering under her breath. Jacque continued to look dumbfounded.
"Hello? This is mission control calling out to all pushy, know it all friends who bullied me into telling them something I didn't understand myself and are now acting like the monkeys earlier referenced."
That effectively got Jacque to shut her mouth and finally acknowledge Jen.
"I'm sorry, I was sort of thrown off for a moment. I just can't believe he said that."
"What does it mean?" Jen asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft.
Sally looked at Jen and then at Jacque. "Does it mean what I think it means?"
"I don't know, Sal. I mean why else would he care what her virginity status was?" Jacque answered.
"Maybe it's a little sister thing, like he feels he needs to be her big brother," Sally said, nodding her head as if that would somehow make it true.
"I've seen him looking at her, and if he sees her as a little sister then Fane needs to beat the crap out of him cuz he looks like he's considering incest."
Jen watched the exchange between her two friends as they communicated as if she wasn't sitting right in front of them.
"Hey, Ricky, Lucy, I'm sitting right here. Would you please stop talking like I'm not in the room."
"Right, sorry Jen." Sally kneeled down in front of Jen and placed her hands on her knees for balance. "Jacque and I think Decebel's being possessive towards you."
"That's your sleuthing in action? Really? Well bloody hell, why dont you guys go clear up the mystery behind Stonehenge seeing as how ya'll are so good at figuring things out and all."
"Are you saying you're going to wait to have sex until you're married?" Sally asked in complete shock.
"Geeze, Sally, is it really that hard to fathom? I know I joke about it a lot. I like to joke about it to see the shock on people's faces. But personally, my forever man is the only one getting a piece of all this hotness."
Jacque had just developed a newfound respect for her perverted friend. "Okay, three things. First, I'm totally digging what you're saying. I get it and I think it's great. Second, don't change. Because out of us three only you could get away with the things you say and we desperately need the comic relief. And last, I'm dying to point this out technically, Jen. You couldn't be a freaking virgin, it's an oxymoron."
"Good one, Vern." Sally bumped Jacques fist.
"I know, right?" Jacque smiled. "We learned from the best, Sal."
"You two hussies better not forget it, either," Jen growled at them.
"Are you done being mad at me?" Sally asked.
Jen glared at her for a minute. "Yeah," she said, waving her off. "I was having a really hard time staying mad anyway. I have to give you serious props for the whole 'Meet Virginia' bit, that was pure genius."
"I know." Sally dusted off each shoulder. "I got mad skills, yo."
"Had I known you were singing that because you had just found out about our perverted little friend's deep, dark secret, I seriously would have peed on myself from laughing so hard."
"So, Jen. You going to fess up to what Decebel whispered in your ear that caused you to stab the poor wolf?" Jacque asked her petulant friend.
"Where's Fane?" Jen asked, ignoring Jacque's question.
"He's sitting on the other side of that door, growling at anything and anyone that comes within a few feet of it," Jacque said, nodding her head towards said door. "Now answer the question, Jen."
Jen didn't answer right away, she wasn't sure how to answer if she was being honest with herself which was a practice that she liked to avoid because it usually lead to being reasonable, and frankly, where was the fun in that? Sally and Jacque waited patiently, not wanting to provoke Jen's as-of-late testy temper.
"I don't really knowwhat it means," Jen told them.
"Well, if you tell us we might be able to help you figure it out. You know we are good at figuring stuff out and what not."
"Oh, yes. How could I forget the mighty Sally and Jacque, super sleuthing divas," Jen said sarcastically.
"Hey, that has a ring to it," Jacque said thoughtfully.
"Jacque, focus." Sally elbowed her.
"He said," Jen began, and much to her amusement her two friends edged towards her, bodies leaning forward, hanging on her every word."You two are like two monkeys waiting for the tourist to throw you a banana peel."
"Jen, you do remember what monkeys like to throw back at those tourists, don't you? Spill it now," Sally growled.
"He dared me to give him a reason to kill someone if the time came that he called me Virginia and it no longer pertained to me." When Sally and Jacque didn't say anything, Jen looked up at them and saw that they were both wide eyed with their mouths hanging open. "Are you going to say something?"
Sally got up and began to pace the room, chewing on her bottom lip and muttering under her breath. Jacque continued to look dumbfounded.
"Hello? This is mission control calling out to all pushy, know it all friends who bullied me into telling them something I didn't understand myself and are now acting like the monkeys earlier referenced."
That effectively got Jacque to shut her mouth and finally acknowledge Jen.
"I'm sorry, I was sort of thrown off for a moment. I just can't believe he said that."
"What does it mean?" Jen asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft.
Sally looked at Jen and then at Jacque. "Does it mean what I think it means?"
"I don't know, Sal. I mean why else would he care what her virginity status was?" Jacque answered.
"Maybe it's a little sister thing, like he feels he needs to be her big brother," Sally said, nodding her head as if that would somehow make it true.
"I've seen him looking at her, and if he sees her as a little sister then Fane needs to beat the crap out of him cuz he looks like he's considering incest."
Jen watched the exchange between her two friends as they communicated as if she wasn't sitting right in front of them.
"Hey, Ricky, Lucy, I'm sitting right here. Would you please stop talking like I'm not in the room."
"Right, sorry Jen." Sally kneeled down in front of Jen and placed her hands on her knees for balance. "Jacque and I think Decebel's being possessive towards you."
"That's your sleuthing in action? Really? Well bloody hell, why dont you guys go clear up the mystery behind Stonehenge seeing as how ya'll are so good at figuring things out and all."
