I smiled into the phone. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I’ve been worried sick the entire time you were gone. I was afraid it’d turn out like last time. They did you dirty with how they made you look on TV, you know. All my friends kept saying, ‘that’s not your Annabelle Tucker.’ And I’d always tell them, no, it’s not. They’re making her look like a tramp for ratings because she’s pretty –“
“Mom,” I protested. God, this was why I didn’t call her right away. She’d been so excited and proud when I’d made it on the last show…until it started showing. “The new show hasn’t even aired yet. They could make me out to be some sort of huge jerk this time. Let’s not get too excited just yet.”
“A huge jerk with a million dollars? No, they’ll make you look good if you’re the winner.”
She had a point.
“I just hope you learned your lesson from last time, that’s all,” my mother said, that disapproving ‘mom’ tone in her voice. “No hooking up with men on TV, no matter how pretty their hair is.”
I winced. “Gee, thanks, Mom. Did I mention Kip was on there again, too?”
She gasped. “Did you knee him in the family jewels?”
“No,” I said smugly. “Better than that, I got him voted out.”
“Well,” she said reluctantly. “That’s almost as good as a knee to the groin.”
“Mom, you’re so bloodthirsty.” I couldn’t help but smile, though. Good old mom.
“He did my baby wrong,” she grumped. “I hope you stayed away from the men this time.”
Again, I winced. Count on mom to hit the nail on the head. “Well…now that you mention it—“
“Oh, Annabelle, you didn’t. After last time?”
“We were just friends in game! Nothing more! I promise. It’s not like last time.” My face was a humiliating flush of heat. “And he’s nothing like the other guy.”
“Is that who you’re waiting on to call?”
I was silent. Okay, so it was.
“Oh, Annabelle,” my mom said again, clearly disappointed. “This isn’t different than last time. You’re still waiting for a man to call. Didn’t I tell you? Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, honey?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes at the phone again, not that Mom could see it. “I’m an adult, Mom. I know what I’m doing.”
“But honey, you’re just so trusting,” she complained. “This is just like that time in high school—“
“Mom, enough,” I said, putting a firm note in my voice. “How’s Dad? How was his fishing trip? What about Kimmie and her boyfriend?”
With a distraction to gossip about, my mother launched into a recap of my family’s latest escapades while I pretended to listen and made appropriate noises.
Truth be told, I was a little worried. Jendan and I had parted at the airport amidst several last quick, stolen kisses. We’d exchanged phone numbers, and promised to call each other. I, sticking to the age old rules of womanhood, didn’t call him first. He needed to make the first move, because I’d been burned like that before.
Except it had been four days and he hadn’t called.
So I really wasn’t sure what to think. I thought about texting him, but would that seem desperate? Or just friendly? But I kept thinking about how Kip had treated me before and…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t reach out to Jendan first. He had to come to me.
He would come to me, wouldn’t he?
The first day, I excused it. The second, I figured he was just busy.
But as the third and fourth days crept around and I hadn’t had so much as a smiley-face text? My heart began to ache again. Not just that I’d been used, but that it had been Jendan – funny, kind, good guy Jendan – who I’d trusted and had abused that trust all over again.
I’d never learn, would I? Tears pricked my eyes. The thought of Jendan using me just like Kip had hurt more than I could bear.
“Don’t you think so, honey? Annabelle?”
I blinked rapidly, swallowing hard to make my voice seem normal. “Hmm? Yep,” I replied, not even knowing what we were talking about. “Listen Mom, let me let you go, okay? I need to run some errands.”
“Okay, sweetie. Love you! Stay safe!”
“Love you too,” I said, and hung up. But I didn’t get up. Instead, I curled up on the couch and hugged one of my old, worn out throw pillows and let myself have a good cry.
I’d wanted Jendan to be different, damn it. Special. Turned out he was just like Kip – a user. I’d denied it for four days, but I had to accept the fact that he’d been interested only in an island hookup, and I’d fallen for the wrong man yet again.
Except this time, I’d fallen harder. I’d been wounded when Kip had used me and tossed me aside, but the real wound had come from how he’d humiliated me on television. That had been a small wound with salt rubbed in it.
The wound from Jendan was like the Grand Canyon. My heart felt shattered, as well as my trust. It’d be almost impossible to get over him, and in six months, I’d have to relive it all over again when the show started airing.
That just made me weep harder.
I cried for hours on the couch, for my broken heart and my dashed hopes, and for Jendan and the man I’d thought he was. Eventually, I fell asleep, clutching the pillow and wishing it were a certain stunt man.
A knock on the front door of my apartment woke me from my sleep. Groggy, I sat up on the couch and wiped at the strands of hair stuck to the sides of my face. My eyes felt swollen and scratchy from my crying, and I was pretty sure I looked like a ripe mess, dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt.
Then again, did it matter what I looked like? No one was around to see me except whoever was at the door, and it was probably UPS or the landlord. With a grumble, I dragged myself off the couch. “Coming.”
With a yawn, I kept the chain on the door and opened it a crack.
Familiar gray eyes crinkled and smiled back at me from the other side. “Hello, beautiful.”
My eyes widened.
He shifted on his feet, then glanced down the hallway. “Your neighbors are giving me the stink eye. Can I come in?”
The walls were thin – they’d probably heard me crying. At least someone was on my side. I frowned at Jendan. I didn’t know what to think of this. “No. What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?”
Most importantly, why the hell hadn’t he called?
He looked surprised at my refusal. The charming grin faded a little. “I missed you, Annabelle. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I contacted the casting department and got your information. I’ve been packing up my stuff in LA for the last few days. I’m taking a hiatus from the stunt man shit for a while. Let my MCL heal up fully. Thought I’d come and visit. See if you and I could…make something…of us.” His words got slower as he spoke, his face more solemn. “But maybe I was wrong…”
I was silent, processing the information. He was here to visit?
Jendan gestured at the hall. “You know what? I think I’ll just go. It was nice seeing you, Annabelle. You look…great.” A faint smile touched his mouth again. Then, he gave me an awkward wave and turned to leave.
“I’ve been worried sick the entire time you were gone. I was afraid it’d turn out like last time. They did you dirty with how they made you look on TV, you know. All my friends kept saying, ‘that’s not your Annabelle Tucker.’ And I’d always tell them, no, it’s not. They’re making her look like a tramp for ratings because she’s pretty –“
“Mom,” I protested. God, this was why I didn’t call her right away. She’d been so excited and proud when I’d made it on the last show…until it started showing. “The new show hasn’t even aired yet. They could make me out to be some sort of huge jerk this time. Let’s not get too excited just yet.”
“A huge jerk with a million dollars? No, they’ll make you look good if you’re the winner.”
She had a point.
“I just hope you learned your lesson from last time, that’s all,” my mother said, that disapproving ‘mom’ tone in her voice. “No hooking up with men on TV, no matter how pretty their hair is.”
I winced. “Gee, thanks, Mom. Did I mention Kip was on there again, too?”
She gasped. “Did you knee him in the family jewels?”
“No,” I said smugly. “Better than that, I got him voted out.”
“Well,” she said reluctantly. “That’s almost as good as a knee to the groin.”
“Mom, you’re so bloodthirsty.” I couldn’t help but smile, though. Good old mom.
“He did my baby wrong,” she grumped. “I hope you stayed away from the men this time.”
Again, I winced. Count on mom to hit the nail on the head. “Well…now that you mention it—“
“Oh, Annabelle, you didn’t. After last time?”
“We were just friends in game! Nothing more! I promise. It’s not like last time.” My face was a humiliating flush of heat. “And he’s nothing like the other guy.”
“Is that who you’re waiting on to call?”
I was silent. Okay, so it was.
“Oh, Annabelle,” my mom said again, clearly disappointed. “This isn’t different than last time. You’re still waiting for a man to call. Didn’t I tell you? Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, honey?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes at the phone again, not that Mom could see it. “I’m an adult, Mom. I know what I’m doing.”
“But honey, you’re just so trusting,” she complained. “This is just like that time in high school—“
“Mom, enough,” I said, putting a firm note in my voice. “How’s Dad? How was his fishing trip? What about Kimmie and her boyfriend?”
With a distraction to gossip about, my mother launched into a recap of my family’s latest escapades while I pretended to listen and made appropriate noises.
Truth be told, I was a little worried. Jendan and I had parted at the airport amidst several last quick, stolen kisses. We’d exchanged phone numbers, and promised to call each other. I, sticking to the age old rules of womanhood, didn’t call him first. He needed to make the first move, because I’d been burned like that before.
Except it had been four days and he hadn’t called.
So I really wasn’t sure what to think. I thought about texting him, but would that seem desperate? Or just friendly? But I kept thinking about how Kip had treated me before and…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t reach out to Jendan first. He had to come to me.
He would come to me, wouldn’t he?
The first day, I excused it. The second, I figured he was just busy.
But as the third and fourth days crept around and I hadn’t had so much as a smiley-face text? My heart began to ache again. Not just that I’d been used, but that it had been Jendan – funny, kind, good guy Jendan – who I’d trusted and had abused that trust all over again.
I’d never learn, would I? Tears pricked my eyes. The thought of Jendan using me just like Kip had hurt more than I could bear.
“Don’t you think so, honey? Annabelle?”
I blinked rapidly, swallowing hard to make my voice seem normal. “Hmm? Yep,” I replied, not even knowing what we were talking about. “Listen Mom, let me let you go, okay? I need to run some errands.”
“Okay, sweetie. Love you! Stay safe!”
“Love you too,” I said, and hung up. But I didn’t get up. Instead, I curled up on the couch and hugged one of my old, worn out throw pillows and let myself have a good cry.
I’d wanted Jendan to be different, damn it. Special. Turned out he was just like Kip – a user. I’d denied it for four days, but I had to accept the fact that he’d been interested only in an island hookup, and I’d fallen for the wrong man yet again.
Except this time, I’d fallen harder. I’d been wounded when Kip had used me and tossed me aside, but the real wound had come from how he’d humiliated me on television. That had been a small wound with salt rubbed in it.
The wound from Jendan was like the Grand Canyon. My heart felt shattered, as well as my trust. It’d be almost impossible to get over him, and in six months, I’d have to relive it all over again when the show started airing.
That just made me weep harder.
I cried for hours on the couch, for my broken heart and my dashed hopes, and for Jendan and the man I’d thought he was. Eventually, I fell asleep, clutching the pillow and wishing it were a certain stunt man.
A knock on the front door of my apartment woke me from my sleep. Groggy, I sat up on the couch and wiped at the strands of hair stuck to the sides of my face. My eyes felt swollen and scratchy from my crying, and I was pretty sure I looked like a ripe mess, dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt.
Then again, did it matter what I looked like? No one was around to see me except whoever was at the door, and it was probably UPS or the landlord. With a grumble, I dragged myself off the couch. “Coming.”
With a yawn, I kept the chain on the door and opened it a crack.
Familiar gray eyes crinkled and smiled back at me from the other side. “Hello, beautiful.”
My eyes widened.
He shifted on his feet, then glanced down the hallway. “Your neighbors are giving me the stink eye. Can I come in?”
The walls were thin – they’d probably heard me crying. At least someone was on my side. I frowned at Jendan. I didn’t know what to think of this. “No. What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?”
Most importantly, why the hell hadn’t he called?
He looked surprised at my refusal. The charming grin faded a little. “I missed you, Annabelle. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I contacted the casting department and got your information. I’ve been packing up my stuff in LA for the last few days. I’m taking a hiatus from the stunt man shit for a while. Let my MCL heal up fully. Thought I’d come and visit. See if you and I could…make something…of us.” His words got slower as he spoke, his face more solemn. “But maybe I was wrong…”
I was silent, processing the information. He was here to visit?
Jendan gestured at the hall. “You know what? I think I’ll just go. It was nice seeing you, Annabelle. You look…great.” A faint smile touched his mouth again. Then, he gave me an awkward wave and turned to leave.
