She called to me.
Feelings I’d long forgotten awoke with an interest in her.
But why?
Two men walked toward her, and I watched her change. Shoulders drew up, pace slowed, eyes down as her body went rigid as if bracing herself. From what? An attack?
It was subtle. So subtle, most wouldn’t even notice.
But I did, and so did the beast.
She was nothing, no one, but she seemed a mystery I wanted to unravel.
But not. Because nothing good came from me having an interest in anything.
As soon as she passed them, her demeanor returned. Another man came by, and she relaxed.
I wanted her.
The beast wanted her. Some unknown girl, if even for just a taste. Just a small, tiny taste.
The chains that held me in check began to loosen, and just as I was about to launch myself at her, a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Nathan,” Jack said, breaking me from the siren’s song. His brow scrunched as he looked at me. “Are you all right, son?”
I rubbed at my neck as I tried to get a grip, an understanding of what just happened to me. I’d become completely unhinged by a woman in a parking lot who never even met my gaze.
“I’m fine. Just…lost in thought.” And possibly going out of my mind.
I glanced back at her to find a woman now walking with her, unaware of me or my internal struggle. Unaware of my strange behavior.
I had no clue what came over me, but it was apparent I needed to stay as far from her as I could. Which would be easy. All I had to do was stay away from Jack’s office.
“What did you want to talk about?”
Jack gave me a kind smile. “We’ll talk about it over lunch, but I’d like you to come work for me.”
My eyes widened, my dick twitching at the thought of seeing that strange girl again.
I shook my head. “No.”
Jack pursed his lips and sighed. “Come on. I’ll convince you over lunch.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but what harm could come from listening to his offer?
A short drive in his car and we were at a pub I hadn’t been to since I met him for lunch four years prior. The inside was packed, but there was still some outdoor seating. While it was hot, it wasn’t too hot.
“How are you feeling?” Jack asked once we were seated, menus in hand.
My right leg bounced in agitation. I hated being out, and even more so with someone I loved. And while Jack’s hair may have gone completely white over the last few years, I knew they knew what he was to me.
“Like shit.” No sense in saying I was fine.
“Migraines still causing you problems?” he asked.
I scoffed at him. “Jack, if it was just migraines, I could deal, but I’m in pain every single moment of the day. A good day for me is for it to be a low hum that I might be able to ignore.”
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, earning a glare from the woman next to me. What the fuck ever.
“I have a proposition for you.”
I shook my head and released the smoke. “No.”
“You met with me. You might as well hear it.”
I shook my head, my jaw tensing as I glanced around. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Nate…”
“It’s not safe. I can’t…I won’t be responsible…” A wave of nausea rolled over me as flashes of Grace popped into the forefront of my mind.
“You’re not responsible for what happened to Grace. They are.”
I shook my head. “It’s my fault, Jack. I should be with them, but instead, I’m fucking walking on this fucking planet like the fucking bionic man, trapped in hell when I should be six feet under. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead.”
He pursed his lips, his brow scrunching as he linked his fingers in front of him. Looking up, he steeled his blue eyes to mine. “Then everyone would be safe? Is that why you’re saying that?”
My jaw ticked, and I gave a small nod. “It’s the truth.”
He blew out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “No, it’s your paranoia. Nate, I’m worried about you. This isn’t what Grace would want for you.”
“Grace would want to not be…” Fuck, I couldn’t even say the word with her name. My wife was dead, but Grace… she was still alive, even if it was only in my cold, dead heart.
“My daughter may be dead, but my son is sitting in front of me, and he needs help,” Jack said, his hand reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He pulled an envelope out from inside his suit jacket and placed it on the table in front of me. “I have a position that I think would be good for you.”
I shook my head. There was no way. I couldn’t do it. Leaning forward, I rested my forearms on the table. “Jack, I can’t go back into the courtroom. I tried, remember?” It was a fucking disaster. I lasted two weeks after the accident. After that was when I pulled away. I sold our house, all of our things, and did my best to stay away from everyone I loved.
“This isn’t litigation.”
Not litigation? I quirked a brow at him. “What, you want me to be fucking support?”
“Transactional attorney,” he said, confirming my suspicion. “You’ll mostly be going through contracts to make sure there are no loopholes and everything is correct. Secluded, only a client here and there as you explain to them what they see as a foreign language.”
I took another drag and held it in. It wasn’t the position for me, but then again, I was far off from the man I was.
“Sounds like busy work.”
“What else are you doing with your time?”
Fuck, he got me there.
The waiter took our order of drinks and food, giving me a buffer of time, but that didn’t stop Jack from staring me down.
“My license lapsed, and I haven’t done continuing education in years. There’s just no way.”
Jack held up his hand. “I’m not talking about now. The position is currently filled.”
I scrunched my brow and let out a stunted laugh. “Then why are you offering it up?”
“Because I hope that I will have grounds to fire her soon or that she will quit.”
“That bad? How long has she been in the position?” I asked.
“Four years, but between the two of them, I’d much rather keep the other woman who’s been doing it two years.”
Feelings I’d long forgotten awoke with an interest in her.
But why?
Two men walked toward her, and I watched her change. Shoulders drew up, pace slowed, eyes down as her body went rigid as if bracing herself. From what? An attack?
It was subtle. So subtle, most wouldn’t even notice.
But I did, and so did the beast.
She was nothing, no one, but she seemed a mystery I wanted to unravel.
But not. Because nothing good came from me having an interest in anything.
As soon as she passed them, her demeanor returned. Another man came by, and she relaxed.
I wanted her.
The beast wanted her. Some unknown girl, if even for just a taste. Just a small, tiny taste.
The chains that held me in check began to loosen, and just as I was about to launch myself at her, a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Nathan,” Jack said, breaking me from the siren’s song. His brow scrunched as he looked at me. “Are you all right, son?”
I rubbed at my neck as I tried to get a grip, an understanding of what just happened to me. I’d become completely unhinged by a woman in a parking lot who never even met my gaze.
“I’m fine. Just…lost in thought.” And possibly going out of my mind.
I glanced back at her to find a woman now walking with her, unaware of me or my internal struggle. Unaware of my strange behavior.
I had no clue what came over me, but it was apparent I needed to stay as far from her as I could. Which would be easy. All I had to do was stay away from Jack’s office.
“What did you want to talk about?”
Jack gave me a kind smile. “We’ll talk about it over lunch, but I’d like you to come work for me.”
My eyes widened, my dick twitching at the thought of seeing that strange girl again.
I shook my head. “No.”
Jack pursed his lips and sighed. “Come on. I’ll convince you over lunch.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but what harm could come from listening to his offer?
A short drive in his car and we were at a pub I hadn’t been to since I met him for lunch four years prior. The inside was packed, but there was still some outdoor seating. While it was hot, it wasn’t too hot.
“How are you feeling?” Jack asked once we were seated, menus in hand.
My right leg bounced in agitation. I hated being out, and even more so with someone I loved. And while Jack’s hair may have gone completely white over the last few years, I knew they knew what he was to me.
“Like shit.” No sense in saying I was fine.
“Migraines still causing you problems?” he asked.
I scoffed at him. “Jack, if it was just migraines, I could deal, but I’m in pain every single moment of the day. A good day for me is for it to be a low hum that I might be able to ignore.”
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, earning a glare from the woman next to me. What the fuck ever.
“I have a proposition for you.”
I shook my head and released the smoke. “No.”
“You met with me. You might as well hear it.”
I shook my head, my jaw tensing as I glanced around. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Nate…”
“It’s not safe. I can’t…I won’t be responsible…” A wave of nausea rolled over me as flashes of Grace popped into the forefront of my mind.
“You’re not responsible for what happened to Grace. They are.”
I shook my head. “It’s my fault, Jack. I should be with them, but instead, I’m fucking walking on this fucking planet like the fucking bionic man, trapped in hell when I should be six feet under. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead.”
He pursed his lips, his brow scrunching as he linked his fingers in front of him. Looking up, he steeled his blue eyes to mine. “Then everyone would be safe? Is that why you’re saying that?”
My jaw ticked, and I gave a small nod. “It’s the truth.”
He blew out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “No, it’s your paranoia. Nate, I’m worried about you. This isn’t what Grace would want for you.”
“Grace would want to not be…” Fuck, I couldn’t even say the word with her name. My wife was dead, but Grace… she was still alive, even if it was only in my cold, dead heart.
“My daughter may be dead, but my son is sitting in front of me, and he needs help,” Jack said, his hand reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He pulled an envelope out from inside his suit jacket and placed it on the table in front of me. “I have a position that I think would be good for you.”
I shook my head. There was no way. I couldn’t do it. Leaning forward, I rested my forearms on the table. “Jack, I can’t go back into the courtroom. I tried, remember?” It was a fucking disaster. I lasted two weeks after the accident. After that was when I pulled away. I sold our house, all of our things, and did my best to stay away from everyone I loved.
“This isn’t litigation.”
Not litigation? I quirked a brow at him. “What, you want me to be fucking support?”
“Transactional attorney,” he said, confirming my suspicion. “You’ll mostly be going through contracts to make sure there are no loopholes and everything is correct. Secluded, only a client here and there as you explain to them what they see as a foreign language.”
I took another drag and held it in. It wasn’t the position for me, but then again, I was far off from the man I was.
“Sounds like busy work.”
“What else are you doing with your time?”
Fuck, he got me there.
The waiter took our order of drinks and food, giving me a buffer of time, but that didn’t stop Jack from staring me down.
“My license lapsed, and I haven’t done continuing education in years. There’s just no way.”
Jack held up his hand. “I’m not talking about now. The position is currently filled.”
I scrunched my brow and let out a stunted laugh. “Then why are you offering it up?”
“Because I hope that I will have grounds to fire her soon or that she will quit.”
“That bad? How long has she been in the position?” I asked.
“Four years, but between the two of them, I’d much rather keep the other woman who’s been doing it two years.”
