The room fell silent when everyone retreated into their thoughts. I was mulling over the meaning of Willow’s decisions when Sheldon spoke.
“Willow, I know it couldn’t have been an easy decision. A decision none of us could have made any easier,” Sheldon directed to the rest of us, warning not to condemn too quickly. “You risked your life and your family by sharing this information for my daughter. I only hope we can help protect you and your family in return.” Sheldon met my gaze issuing a warning and I nodded my head.
“We will protect them,” Keiran agreed. “Right now, Willow is our only connection to catch them. As long as she’s alive we have a chance.”
Keiran nodded his agreement. “How long did she give you?”
“She didn’t say.”
“She just told you to kill me and nothing else?”
She merely shrugged. I could tell she just wanted it all to be over, but I couldn’t muster sympathy for her. Willow had proven a second time that she couldn’t be trusted. Instead of confiding in me, she kept it to herself and even considered going through with it. It was a struggle to remain silent, but I would get my answers and my retribution for her lies when we were alone.
If I was supposed to thank her for her mercy, she was wrong. My sister had been forgiving, but nothing in me could bring myself to forgive how she hadn’t trusted me and had intended to betray me.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
WILLOW
REGRET WAS SOMETHING I had become accustomed. Ever since I ran, I’ve lived with it every day. And now it seemed at every turn, I was adding to my list of things to regret. I saw the accusation, the anger, the distrust…
I’d made the wrong decision and paid the consequences by further damaging my friendship with Lake.
I excused myself to the bathroom when I couldn’t fake it with my head held high anymore. I splashed water on my face and pretended I wasn’t crying. I told myself I wouldn’t be a bad person and that from now on, I would only make good decisions, but I knew when I reentered reality, none of it would hold any weight.
A knock on the door jolted me out my self-loathing. I became as stiff as a board and held my breath as if the person on the other side could actually hear.
“Willow?” The feminine sound of Lake’s voice calling my name made me grip the counter. “I know you’re in there.” The doorknob turned as she knocked again.
With a deep breath and then another, I unlocked and snatched open the door. “Yes?”
“What was that down there?”
“I don’t follow,” I answered slowly.
She pushed into the bathroom and closed the door shut. “Who are you?” The pain was etched all over voice. “The Willow I know would never have kept such a dangerous secret like that and put lives in jeopardy.”
“The Willow you knew isn’t standing here. You took what was left of her when you walked away for him.”
“If you think it hurt watching me move to another school, then be thankful you never had to feel what it was like to find one day that your best friend was gone without a trace. I fucking mourned you, Willow. I didn’t leave because I preferred him. I left because I needed him. I love him, Willow.”
“And I needed you.” The volume of my voice increased with the overwhelming emotions raging inside. “He’s abused you since we were kids. You’re such a fucking masochist.”
“I’m not living in the past like you. I forgave him for me.”
“Have you? Why? Has he even apologized or did he just make you a bunch of promises that sounded good?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know what he did to you.”
“No one knows better than me.” Her tone took on a harder edge, and I could tell the pain was still there despite all their happily ever after bullshit.
“And what about what he did to me?”
“What Keiran did was despicable, but he didn’t make you fuck Dash and he didn’t make you fall in love. You did it because you wanted to and because your heart craved Dash. The start may have been false, but the journey was real.”
I searched for a spot on the wall and fixated on it. I couldn’t stand to look in Lake’s unusual eyes and not give in.
“This great love you speak of tormented you for ten years and did unthinkable things to you for entertainment. In every war, there are casualties and people get hurt. I was one of them. It was one thing to fall in love, but it was unbearable to watch you ride off into the sunset with him. You never even thought to help me learn how to heal as I did for you. Did you forget? I dried every one of your tears and shared your pain so you could find the strength to face the next day only to be knocked down again. And now you’re actually trying to convince me that it was love? Well, I found and lost my only chance at love because of him. I won’t forgive him. Not even for me. The pain serves me much better. It reminds me I’m alive, and it’s love that destroys you.”
“Willow, I know it couldn’t have been an easy decision. A decision none of us could have made any easier,” Sheldon directed to the rest of us, warning not to condemn too quickly. “You risked your life and your family by sharing this information for my daughter. I only hope we can help protect you and your family in return.” Sheldon met my gaze issuing a warning and I nodded my head.
“We will protect them,” Keiran agreed. “Right now, Willow is our only connection to catch them. As long as she’s alive we have a chance.”
Keiran nodded his agreement. “How long did she give you?”
“She didn’t say.”
“She just told you to kill me and nothing else?”
She merely shrugged. I could tell she just wanted it all to be over, but I couldn’t muster sympathy for her. Willow had proven a second time that she couldn’t be trusted. Instead of confiding in me, she kept it to herself and even considered going through with it. It was a struggle to remain silent, but I would get my answers and my retribution for her lies when we were alone.
If I was supposed to thank her for her mercy, she was wrong. My sister had been forgiving, but nothing in me could bring myself to forgive how she hadn’t trusted me and had intended to betray me.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
WILLOW
REGRET WAS SOMETHING I had become accustomed. Ever since I ran, I’ve lived with it every day. And now it seemed at every turn, I was adding to my list of things to regret. I saw the accusation, the anger, the distrust…
I’d made the wrong decision and paid the consequences by further damaging my friendship with Lake.
I excused myself to the bathroom when I couldn’t fake it with my head held high anymore. I splashed water on my face and pretended I wasn’t crying. I told myself I wouldn’t be a bad person and that from now on, I would only make good decisions, but I knew when I reentered reality, none of it would hold any weight.
A knock on the door jolted me out my self-loathing. I became as stiff as a board and held my breath as if the person on the other side could actually hear.
“Willow?” The feminine sound of Lake’s voice calling my name made me grip the counter. “I know you’re in there.” The doorknob turned as she knocked again.
With a deep breath and then another, I unlocked and snatched open the door. “Yes?”
“What was that down there?”
“I don’t follow,” I answered slowly.
She pushed into the bathroom and closed the door shut. “Who are you?” The pain was etched all over voice. “The Willow I know would never have kept such a dangerous secret like that and put lives in jeopardy.”
“The Willow you knew isn’t standing here. You took what was left of her when you walked away for him.”
“If you think it hurt watching me move to another school, then be thankful you never had to feel what it was like to find one day that your best friend was gone without a trace. I fucking mourned you, Willow. I didn’t leave because I preferred him. I left because I needed him. I love him, Willow.”
“And I needed you.” The volume of my voice increased with the overwhelming emotions raging inside. “He’s abused you since we were kids. You’re such a fucking masochist.”
“I’m not living in the past like you. I forgave him for me.”
“Have you? Why? Has he even apologized or did he just make you a bunch of promises that sounded good?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know what he did to you.”
“No one knows better than me.” Her tone took on a harder edge, and I could tell the pain was still there despite all their happily ever after bullshit.
“And what about what he did to me?”
“What Keiran did was despicable, but he didn’t make you fuck Dash and he didn’t make you fall in love. You did it because you wanted to and because your heart craved Dash. The start may have been false, but the journey was real.”
I searched for a spot on the wall and fixated on it. I couldn’t stand to look in Lake’s unusual eyes and not give in.
“This great love you speak of tormented you for ten years and did unthinkable things to you for entertainment. In every war, there are casualties and people get hurt. I was one of them. It was one thing to fall in love, but it was unbearable to watch you ride off into the sunset with him. You never even thought to help me learn how to heal as I did for you. Did you forget? I dried every one of your tears and shared your pain so you could find the strength to face the next day only to be knocked down again. And now you’re actually trying to convince me that it was love? Well, I found and lost my only chance at love because of him. I won’t forgive him. Not even for me. The pain serves me much better. It reminds me I’m alive, and it’s love that destroys you.”
