“I…” She closed her mouth again. There was nothing.
“Exactly.” And for the first time, I let my pain shine through. I couldn’t hold it back. I didn’t want to anymore. Maybe it was because I was finally hearing someone defend me or support me, but I stopped hiding that pain. And I knew the instant they both saw it, because they gasped.
“Alex,” Angie whispered.
Marissa wrenched away. Her arms folded around herself and her shoulders hunched forward.
“Are you going to reprimand my parents for not loving me as much anymore?” Those damn tears started coming again. I barely felt them now. I whispered more, “Are you going to tell my mom that she was selfish when she tried to kill herself? Or tell my dad that he shouldn’t have to only worry about his wife, but his daughter too? They’re both grieving, Ang. We’re all still grieving.”
Suddenly, Marissa took off. The door slammed behind her.
“What?” Angie shrieked again. Her stricken eyes skirted from the door to me. “What the hell was that?”
It should’ve hurt that she had left, but it barely fazed me. She was the least of my problems.
“I can’t believe—Alex, what do I do here?”
I shrugged. They opened this can of worms. She should deal with it, but then I stood and brushed away the wetness on my cheeks. I was so tired of it all. “I’m going to go.”
“No, please.”
“Angie.”
“What?” She had conflicting emotions on her face. Concern, anger, and another unnamed one flitted over her. Then she shook her head and grabbed my arm. Her fingers wrapped tightly around it. “What do I do here? I have no idea. And what the hell happened with Marissa?”
“It’s not the first time when things got too real and someone bailed.”
Her fingers jerked in reaction. “That’s happened to you before, huh?”
“More than you want to know.”
My friend looked like the world had just beaten her at her own game. I swallowed all my pain down and patted her hand. “Why don’t you find Justin? I’m hungry. We could get something to eat together?”
She blinked back some tears of her own. “What about Jesse?”
I shrugged. “I’m here with you guys.”
“Really?” Some hope sparked back to her. “That was the intent, Alex. It really was. Marissa called and told me your parents ditched you, we were both so mad. I didn’t think about it, not really. She said she had the rooms already booked and I didn’t think about that either. I grabbed Justin and told him where we were going.” She sighed. A dreamy smile came over her. “He never questioned me or anything. He’s such a great guy. I’m lucky to have him. I really am.”
I nudged her towards the door. “Go get your dreamboat. I’ll meet you guys in the lobby.”
She skidded to a halt before the door and fixed me with a stare. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I will be.” The concern still lingered so I fixed a bright smile on my face. It blasted her. “I promise.”
Sadness filled her eyes, but she nodded. “You’re lying to me, but that’s okay. I’m going to be there for you no matter what, even if stupid and hot Jesse Hunt destroys you. I’ll be there.”
“You have to, Marissa just bolted.”
She grimaced. “Don’t remind me. I’m going to have a word with her later about that too.”
I grinned, but I knew I didn’t want to be in the room when that happened. I was about to ask her to give me a heads up when she was going to approach that topic with Marissa, but there was a knock at the door. Justin and Eric were both in the hallway, in jeans and tee shirts.
“Where’s Marissa?” Eric peered past our shoulders.
“Your girlfriend ditched. No idea where she is or when she’s coming back,” Angie snapped out. Her eyes flashed in anger.
Justin went into action. He threw his arms around his girlfriend, pulled her in close, and nuzzled her neck as he rocked her back and forth in his arms.
“Justin!”
He ignored her weak attempts at swatting his head and winked at me. “I’m starving, honey. I’m ravenous. I’m about to faint in the hallway. My stomach needs food, woman. It needs sustenance. I can’t handle this anymore.” And then he let loose and belted out, “I don’t need no more pain, no more game, no more drama.”
As he kept singing the song, Angie smacked his shoulder and stalked past him. We heard her mutter under her breath, “My boyfriend is a freak show. I can’t take him anywhere.”
Justin watched her go for a moment, with a wide smile on his face, and then he raced to catch up. The two were giggling together soon after and chased each other again down the hallway.
“So, Marissa took off?” Eric smiled at me, tentatively.
Oh right. I’d forgotten he was there and now the awkwardness ensued. He had wanted to date me, I evaded him, and now he was with the girl that had just ditched him. I kept my voice light. “Yeah, but don’t worry. She’s like that when things hit close to home with her. She’ll show up again.”
His shoulders didn’t relax.
I didn’t care.
“She’s upset about something.”
No shit, Sherlock. But I held my tongue. “She’ll come around. She always does.”
At the second reassurance, his shoulders sagged and he nodded. Some of the tension left him. “You’re right. She does.”
And if Angie had been there, she would’ve warned him that Marissa would probably show up with another guy wrapped around her. That was her pattern, but this was me. I held my tongue and didn’t say a word. He needed to learn. He would. Marissa always showed her true colors when it came to guys. They either cheated on her or she cheated on them. It wasn’t something we talked about or questioned her about, but it’d been happening more and more the past two years. And if I had been half the friend Angie was to me, if I hadn’t been dealing with my own problems, I knew that I should’ve been more concerned for Marissa. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was still mad at her for all her betrayals, for going after Jesse, and then going after Eric. She had helped me avoid his attempts, but she hadn’t asked. She hadn’t cared. She picked him and she went after him.
“Exactly.” And for the first time, I let my pain shine through. I couldn’t hold it back. I didn’t want to anymore. Maybe it was because I was finally hearing someone defend me or support me, but I stopped hiding that pain. And I knew the instant they both saw it, because they gasped.
“Alex,” Angie whispered.
Marissa wrenched away. Her arms folded around herself and her shoulders hunched forward.
“Are you going to reprimand my parents for not loving me as much anymore?” Those damn tears started coming again. I barely felt them now. I whispered more, “Are you going to tell my mom that she was selfish when she tried to kill herself? Or tell my dad that he shouldn’t have to only worry about his wife, but his daughter too? They’re both grieving, Ang. We’re all still grieving.”
Suddenly, Marissa took off. The door slammed behind her.
“What?” Angie shrieked again. Her stricken eyes skirted from the door to me. “What the hell was that?”
It should’ve hurt that she had left, but it barely fazed me. She was the least of my problems.
“I can’t believe—Alex, what do I do here?”
I shrugged. They opened this can of worms. She should deal with it, but then I stood and brushed away the wetness on my cheeks. I was so tired of it all. “I’m going to go.”
“No, please.”
“Angie.”
“What?” She had conflicting emotions on her face. Concern, anger, and another unnamed one flitted over her. Then she shook her head and grabbed my arm. Her fingers wrapped tightly around it. “What do I do here? I have no idea. And what the hell happened with Marissa?”
“It’s not the first time when things got too real and someone bailed.”
Her fingers jerked in reaction. “That’s happened to you before, huh?”
“More than you want to know.”
My friend looked like the world had just beaten her at her own game. I swallowed all my pain down and patted her hand. “Why don’t you find Justin? I’m hungry. We could get something to eat together?”
She blinked back some tears of her own. “What about Jesse?”
I shrugged. “I’m here with you guys.”
“Really?” Some hope sparked back to her. “That was the intent, Alex. It really was. Marissa called and told me your parents ditched you, we were both so mad. I didn’t think about it, not really. She said she had the rooms already booked and I didn’t think about that either. I grabbed Justin and told him where we were going.” She sighed. A dreamy smile came over her. “He never questioned me or anything. He’s such a great guy. I’m lucky to have him. I really am.”
I nudged her towards the door. “Go get your dreamboat. I’ll meet you guys in the lobby.”
She skidded to a halt before the door and fixed me with a stare. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I will be.” The concern still lingered so I fixed a bright smile on my face. It blasted her. “I promise.”
Sadness filled her eyes, but she nodded. “You’re lying to me, but that’s okay. I’m going to be there for you no matter what, even if stupid and hot Jesse Hunt destroys you. I’ll be there.”
“You have to, Marissa just bolted.”
She grimaced. “Don’t remind me. I’m going to have a word with her later about that too.”
I grinned, but I knew I didn’t want to be in the room when that happened. I was about to ask her to give me a heads up when she was going to approach that topic with Marissa, but there was a knock at the door. Justin and Eric were both in the hallway, in jeans and tee shirts.
“Where’s Marissa?” Eric peered past our shoulders.
“Your girlfriend ditched. No idea where she is or when she’s coming back,” Angie snapped out. Her eyes flashed in anger.
Justin went into action. He threw his arms around his girlfriend, pulled her in close, and nuzzled her neck as he rocked her back and forth in his arms.
“Justin!”
He ignored her weak attempts at swatting his head and winked at me. “I’m starving, honey. I’m ravenous. I’m about to faint in the hallway. My stomach needs food, woman. It needs sustenance. I can’t handle this anymore.” And then he let loose and belted out, “I don’t need no more pain, no more game, no more drama.”
As he kept singing the song, Angie smacked his shoulder and stalked past him. We heard her mutter under her breath, “My boyfriend is a freak show. I can’t take him anywhere.”
Justin watched her go for a moment, with a wide smile on his face, and then he raced to catch up. The two were giggling together soon after and chased each other again down the hallway.
“So, Marissa took off?” Eric smiled at me, tentatively.
Oh right. I’d forgotten he was there and now the awkwardness ensued. He had wanted to date me, I evaded him, and now he was with the girl that had just ditched him. I kept my voice light. “Yeah, but don’t worry. She’s like that when things hit close to home with her. She’ll show up again.”
His shoulders didn’t relax.
I didn’t care.
“She’s upset about something.”
No shit, Sherlock. But I held my tongue. “She’ll come around. She always does.”
At the second reassurance, his shoulders sagged and he nodded. Some of the tension left him. “You’re right. She does.”
And if Angie had been there, she would’ve warned him that Marissa would probably show up with another guy wrapped around her. That was her pattern, but this was me. I held my tongue and didn’t say a word. He needed to learn. He would. Marissa always showed her true colors when it came to guys. They either cheated on her or she cheated on them. It wasn’t something we talked about or questioned her about, but it’d been happening more and more the past two years. And if I had been half the friend Angie was to me, if I hadn’t been dealing with my own problems, I knew that I should’ve been more concerned for Marissa. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was still mad at her for all her betrayals, for going after Jesse, and then going after Eric. She had helped me avoid his attempts, but she hadn’t asked. She hadn’t cared. She picked him and she went after him.
