She moved away and washed her hands under the faucet, but leaned against the sink when she was done. I looked up now. The somberness in her eyes nearly brought me to tears. Oh god. What was I doing to make a friend like Angie worry so much for me?
I whispered, “What do you want me to do?”
“Stop it.”
A tear slipped out. Then I nodded.
She added, firmer, “Stop it right now.”
“One more night,” I gasped out. I needed one more night.
“No.” She stood in front of me and grasped my arms. The severity in her took my breath away. It meant so much to her. “No more ‘one more nights’. You’ll keep wanting that. You’ll keep saying that. Stop it right now. We’ll fly home tonight. We’ll leave tonight. Just stop it with him. I just got you back. The old you is coming back. I can see it and I do not want him to take it away. He can’t take you away again. I won’t let him.”
I closed my eyes as I heard her words. Pain whirled around in me. I felt ripped open from the inside out. My heart was wrenched out and squeezed so it would stop beating. But she was right and I knew it. I had already started down that path. I told myself to walk away, but I wanted one more night. I needed it so much, but she was right.
It had to end.
I nodded. The relief that came from her almost brought me to my knees. Angie swept me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. She continued to hold me against her and brushed my hair away from my forehead. It was a motherly gesture, a realization that had new tears come to me, but I held them back.
When we walked outside, Jesse and Justin were waiting in the darkened hallway. A fierce emotion was in his depths, but he wouldn’t let me see it. As I stepped closer, he turned away. I sighed and my hand fell back to my side.
He had heard.
“We’re going home,” Angie murmured to Justin in a hushed voice. He pulled her in for a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead, the same way she had to me.
“Jesse.” My voice cracked.
He shook his head, but then whirled back around. His lips were on mine and he kissed me like he was drowning. I raked my hands through his hair and surged to meet him. When he would normally pull away, he didn’t. He kept kissing me. His lips were trying to cement his memory on me. I let them. I needed to remember, because I loved him. I didn’t know if I would love another like I did Jesse. But then he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.
I clung to his shoulders, weak and helpless. Everything hurt. It was painful to breathe.
He brushed a hand against my cheek and tucked some hair behind my ear before he whispered, “It’s Ethan’s birthday, but I understand.”
He pulled away. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead and then turned and went back into the club.
A part of me went with him.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
When we got back, Angie stayed with me. It was hard, it was really hard. Jesse and I were done. I knew it was true this time and the pain crippled me every day, but I heard Angie’s voice in my head. Every morning, she said to get up. ‘You get up every morning. You shower every morning. And you go through the motions. You do what you’re supposed to and someday it won’t hurt as bad.’ I had looked up at her and asked, ‘Do you promise?’
‘I promise. It’s better this way. I promise, Alex. I do. You just have to get up every morning.’
So that’s what I did.
At first I didn’t notice much. School seemed the same. Angie would tell me later that everyone knew about our fight with Marissa. She became best friends with Sarah Shastaine. When I heard that, I was dumbfounded. I thought that I would’ve noticed if Marissa had become best friends with Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, but I hadn’t. I’d been clueless. Angie told me that I walked through the hallways like a zombie. I was the living dead. And she also told me that Eric apologized to me about something in the first week. She didn’t know what he apologized about, but I had told her that he said he was sorry for something.
I shrugged at that information. I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember anything anymore.
Christmas passed. New Years passed. Easter passed.
I didn’t remember any of it, but I did what Angie said. I got up, showered, and I did what I was supposed to do. I studied and I did it hard. My grades shot up. My test scores went with them and when the school counselor called me to her office to offer her congratulations, it took me five minutes before I comprehended what she was saying.
I’d been awarded a full scholarship to Grant West University for my academics. I was the second student to receive a full scholarship and the third to receive a scholarship in general from there. I already knew the other two, Jesse and Cord. I was the third, but I knew Jesse had received a full scholarship, so that meant Cord hadn’t. He’d gotten something, but not a full scholarship. I’d forgotten that I had applied the year before, before I knew Jesse was going there.
Huh.
I should’ve cared, but I didn’t. I left the office that day, but I never saw the odd expression on her face or how she reached for her phone afterwards. It wouldn’t be until later that I would find out that she had called my parents. Of course, there’d been no word. They were still gone. Where they went, I had no idea. What they were doing, I had no idea, but I knew my father traveled for his job. I guessed that’s what they’d been doing, traveling for his job. I would never find out that they had gotten an apartment in the city closer to his office and that they were living there. They’d left me the house, but never told me. They never cared to.
I was 18; I had been for a year now. They didn’t have to tell me a thing anymore.
It was the end of April when Angie asked me a question that I had never considered before.
“Who are you going to prom with?”
My head jerked up. “What?”
Then she slammed her locker and raised her eyebrows.
“Huh?”
“Prom. You. Me. It’s in two weeks. Who’s taking you?”
“No one.” I blinked rapidly, for some reason dumbfounded again. Prom? I’d only been thinking about graduation, well, not really. I still hadn’t told Angie about my Grant West scholarship. I’d been holding that in for two weeks, waiting for the right time. It never happened. I never wanted to risk Angie’s wrath again.
“No one? Are you kidding me? I thought Michael Helmsworth was drooling all over you at the party last weekend.”
I whispered, “What do you want me to do?”
“Stop it.”
A tear slipped out. Then I nodded.
She added, firmer, “Stop it right now.”
“One more night,” I gasped out. I needed one more night.
“No.” She stood in front of me and grasped my arms. The severity in her took my breath away. It meant so much to her. “No more ‘one more nights’. You’ll keep wanting that. You’ll keep saying that. Stop it right now. We’ll fly home tonight. We’ll leave tonight. Just stop it with him. I just got you back. The old you is coming back. I can see it and I do not want him to take it away. He can’t take you away again. I won’t let him.”
I closed my eyes as I heard her words. Pain whirled around in me. I felt ripped open from the inside out. My heart was wrenched out and squeezed so it would stop beating. But she was right and I knew it. I had already started down that path. I told myself to walk away, but I wanted one more night. I needed it so much, but she was right.
It had to end.
I nodded. The relief that came from her almost brought me to my knees. Angie swept me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. She continued to hold me against her and brushed my hair away from my forehead. It was a motherly gesture, a realization that had new tears come to me, but I held them back.
When we walked outside, Jesse and Justin were waiting in the darkened hallway. A fierce emotion was in his depths, but he wouldn’t let me see it. As I stepped closer, he turned away. I sighed and my hand fell back to my side.
He had heard.
“We’re going home,” Angie murmured to Justin in a hushed voice. He pulled her in for a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead, the same way she had to me.
“Jesse.” My voice cracked.
He shook his head, but then whirled back around. His lips were on mine and he kissed me like he was drowning. I raked my hands through his hair and surged to meet him. When he would normally pull away, he didn’t. He kept kissing me. His lips were trying to cement his memory on me. I let them. I needed to remember, because I loved him. I didn’t know if I would love another like I did Jesse. But then he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.
I clung to his shoulders, weak and helpless. Everything hurt. It was painful to breathe.
He brushed a hand against my cheek and tucked some hair behind my ear before he whispered, “It’s Ethan’s birthday, but I understand.”
He pulled away. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead and then turned and went back into the club.
A part of me went with him.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
When we got back, Angie stayed with me. It was hard, it was really hard. Jesse and I were done. I knew it was true this time and the pain crippled me every day, but I heard Angie’s voice in my head. Every morning, she said to get up. ‘You get up every morning. You shower every morning. And you go through the motions. You do what you’re supposed to and someday it won’t hurt as bad.’ I had looked up at her and asked, ‘Do you promise?’
‘I promise. It’s better this way. I promise, Alex. I do. You just have to get up every morning.’
So that’s what I did.
At first I didn’t notice much. School seemed the same. Angie would tell me later that everyone knew about our fight with Marissa. She became best friends with Sarah Shastaine. When I heard that, I was dumbfounded. I thought that I would’ve noticed if Marissa had become best friends with Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, but I hadn’t. I’d been clueless. Angie told me that I walked through the hallways like a zombie. I was the living dead. And she also told me that Eric apologized to me about something in the first week. She didn’t know what he apologized about, but I had told her that he said he was sorry for something.
I shrugged at that information. I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember anything anymore.
Christmas passed. New Years passed. Easter passed.
I didn’t remember any of it, but I did what Angie said. I got up, showered, and I did what I was supposed to do. I studied and I did it hard. My grades shot up. My test scores went with them and when the school counselor called me to her office to offer her congratulations, it took me five minutes before I comprehended what she was saying.
I’d been awarded a full scholarship to Grant West University for my academics. I was the second student to receive a full scholarship and the third to receive a scholarship in general from there. I already knew the other two, Jesse and Cord. I was the third, but I knew Jesse had received a full scholarship, so that meant Cord hadn’t. He’d gotten something, but not a full scholarship. I’d forgotten that I had applied the year before, before I knew Jesse was going there.
Huh.
I should’ve cared, but I didn’t. I left the office that day, but I never saw the odd expression on her face or how she reached for her phone afterwards. It wouldn’t be until later that I would find out that she had called my parents. Of course, there’d been no word. They were still gone. Where they went, I had no idea. What they were doing, I had no idea, but I knew my father traveled for his job. I guessed that’s what they’d been doing, traveling for his job. I would never find out that they had gotten an apartment in the city closer to his office and that they were living there. They’d left me the house, but never told me. They never cared to.
I was 18; I had been for a year now. They didn’t have to tell me a thing anymore.
It was the end of April when Angie asked me a question that I had never considered before.
“Who are you going to prom with?”
My head jerked up. “What?”
Then she slammed her locker and raised her eyebrows.
“Huh?”
“Prom. You. Me. It’s in two weeks. Who’s taking you?”
“No one.” I blinked rapidly, for some reason dumbfounded again. Prom? I’d only been thinking about graduation, well, not really. I still hadn’t told Angie about my Grant West scholarship. I’d been holding that in for two weeks, waiting for the right time. It never happened. I never wanted to risk Angie’s wrath again.
“No one? Are you kidding me? I thought Michael Helmsworth was drooling all over you at the party last weekend.”
