As soon as he hit the street, Mateo went to a streetlight and pulled the letter out.
Teo,
Sometimes I feel like the only thing I have to give you are words. I can’t protect you, and I don’t always know the right thing to do like you do. I want to give you everything, so that’s what I decided to do. I know it’s not much, but everything I am, everything I have, is yours. Because that’s what you do with me. I know you don’t see it, but you do. You give me everything you are, and that’s all I need. You. You said to me once that I make you feel like something, but you do that to me, too. You make me feel like someone for the first time in my life. Even without me, you’d be something, Teo.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Josiah
Josiah was wrong. Mateo wasn’t something, as Josiah had said in his letter.
Without letting himself look back, he walked away from Heaven and headed back toward Hell.
Chapter Fifteen
Josiah
Molly cried all day, upset that Mateo had disappeared. William told them he caught him leaving, and that he’d wanted to go. Mateo was old enough that they couldn’t do anything about it.
Josiah didn’t believe that for a second. Still, he sat with his arm around her, comforting her, but he didn’t shed a tear of his own. He knew he would see Mateo again. He wasn’t losing him. He refused to.
When Molly laid down for a late afternoon nap, William approached him. “I know about you two. I know this is hard on you, but it’s for the best. It was wrong of him to take advantage of you like that.”
Josiah saw red, his heart exploding in his chest. “What? Teo didn’t take advantage of me. He would never hurt me.”
William sighed. “Did you know he’s doing drugs? Doing them or selling them, I don’t know, but he hid drugs at our home, Josiah.”
Josiah flinched at that, but still it didn’t matter. If Mateo had drugs here, it was for a reason. He closed his eyes the second it hit him... He couldn’t get a job. He did the only thing he knew how to do to make money. “Fine. Whatever.” Josiah walked away, trying not to show he was upset as he was. Trying not to tip his hand.
When the house was dark, everyone in bed for the night, he grabbed the two backpacks he’d filled with his and Mateo’s things. Grabbed his queen and put it into his pocket. He didn’t know how he’d do it, but somehow he’d find Mateo.
***
Josiah wrapped his arms around his legs, hiding himself behind some bushes. Four days and three nights he’d spent in Creekside park, not knowing what else to do. Mateo would come here. He knew it.
A sound came from the distance, making him jump. He tucked himself deeper, hoping like hell whoever it was didn’t see him. There’d been a fight in the park his second night here, and someone had pulled out a knife. The days were okay, but he didn’t know if he could do it... didn’t know how many more nights he could take. Alone.
Teo, where are you?
Sleepiness made his eyes droop before he popped them open again. He couldn’t go to sleep, couldn’t risk being passed out if someone found him.
***
Two days later he sat by the creek when he heard footsteps behind him. The only time he’d left this park since he got here was to get food. His stomach growled because he didn’t have enough of it, his eyes grainy and in pain from lack of sleep, his movements slow as he turned around. That’s when he saw him.
Teo.
“Dios, Josiah. What the fuck are you doing here?” Mateo ran over to him, surprising Josiah by pulling him close. He melted into Teo’s arms. Finally.
“I couldn’t stay. Not without you.”
“Shit. You shouldn’t have done that, Jay. You shouldn’t have fucking left. It’s not right. You don’t belong here. You belong with them.”
Josiah pulled back. “I belong with you.”
Josiah tried to keep the hurt from his face but knew he didn’t succeed when Teo said, “I wanna be with you, but it’s not right. You shouldn’t be here. What do I have to give you? I don’t have shit.”
Josiah’s body went hot. “Fuck you, Teo.”
Mateo’s eyes widened. “I think that’s the first time you’ve cussed at me.”
Josiah didn’t laugh. Mateo didn’t get to change the subject on this. “It’s not about what we have or don’t have. It’s about us. Ever since my parents died, no one ever loved me, not really loved me and wanted me until you. That’s all that matters, and I’m staying. I’m not letting you push me away.”
