“I’m going to try and go to college. There has to be financial aid or loans or something I can do. I want to know how to run my own business. It was our dream—my dream—to own a place like Fisherman’s Roast. I know it’s not much to some people, but it would be everything to me.”
Tristan watched him carefully before speaking. “How other people feel doesn’t matter. The only thing that does is what you want. And that you can take care of yourself. I was there last night, Josiah. There won’t always be someone there. You shouldn’t want someone there. All you have in this world is yourself.”
Truth sounded off each syllable of his words. He knew Tristan was right, but in a way, wished he wasn’t. He wanted to live in a world where he and Teo could have had each other—always had each other. Not to depend on, but lean on. A world where maybe now he could be there for Tristan, the way Tristan had been there for him last night.
Josiah nodded.
“I learned that lesson young. Too young.” Tristan ran a hand over his face. “Jesus, how did I fucking get here?” he said to himself, before walking over and stopping right in front of Josiah. His line of sight met the top of Tristan’s jeans. He let it go up...up until it landed on his face.
“You’ll stay here. If you want to get your life together, you’ll stay here, but I’m telling you right now, there will be rules.”
Josiah couldn’t move. Couldn’t talk, couldn’t think. Tristan was asking him to stay here.
Chapter Nine
Tristan
Pull back. I have no business letting him stay here. Not with the hunger in his eyes right now. Not with the matching craving inside me.
But damn, he couldn’t take the words back. Probably knew last night he would utter them. He saw something in Josiah, though he couldn’t nail down exactly what it was. Yes, he was beautiful, with his soft features and even softer eyes. With days’ growth of hair on his jaw and a determined curve of his plump lips. Lips Tristan very much wanted to take possession of.
It was that thought that made the blood run cold through him. That thought that again reminded him that if he was going to help Josiah, that’s all it would be. He wouldn’t wield power over Josiah, and let him repay Tristan sexually.
“There are things you want, Tristan. Things I can help you get. You’re a smart young man. I wouldn’t offer to take you under my wing if I didn’t think you had it in you to succeed, but what about me? All the hard work and money I’m putting toward you. I know you’re taking care of your mom, too. Nothing comes for free. Don’t pretend you don’t know.”
Nausea rolled through Tristan’s gut. Nothing comes for free. He’d heard that before. Seen it before, with his mom. When she did what she had to do to support them—the way he would do now...
Tristan dropped to his knees in front of Wilson.
“That’s it. I knew you’d understand. You give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you need.”
Wilson was exactly right. Tristan needed this. Needed to be able to take care of himself so no one could take anything from them again.
With steady hands, he pulled Wilson’s zipper down...
Tristan jerked himself from the past. He bit down so hard, for so long, his jaw hurt. Two fingers pressed to his pulse. One, two, three, four, five....
“That. Right there.” He didn’t take a step back, but put a hand under Josiah’s chin so he couldn’t look away. “The way you’re looking at me right now. You need to know that nothing will happen. If you’re staying here, it’s to help you get on your feet. I have space, so you’re welcome to use it while you’re getting your life in order, but I won’t fuck you. The men I take to bed know we’ll share it once and then I’m done. And I won’t fall in love with you, either, so don’t try to romance me. I don’t do relationships, and if you’re thinking this is the start of one, it isn’t.” Tristan let his hand fall. Josiah didn’t react right away.
The only person Tristan had taken to bed more than once who he’d actually wanted there was Ben. But they’d both always known the score. During the crazy days of law school, it had been easier for Tristan to fuck him than to make time to find someone else. Ben was one of the few people he could stand.
Josiah paused. His tongue snuck out and licked those damn lips again, but Tristan fought to hold his ground. Giving in meant he couldn’t handle this craving for Josiah, and he damn well would make sure he could.
“Why?” Josiah finally asked.
