And then he cocked his head a little bit. A slight smile tugged at Tristan’s lips. “You talked to her. This was the first day of college you missed, and it was because you spoke with her all day on the phone.”
The fear eating at him started to ease back. Josiah shrugged, but still wondered how he knew. Did he look for his phone at the end of the day and call her? Stop by? “I’m sorry I answered your phone, but she kept calling, and I was worried. She was lonely, and I knew you were in court. I didn’t want her to feel alone.”
Tristan took a step forward, and then another one. “You cared how she felt and you don’t even know her. Her parents didn’t care when they kicked her out for not aborting me, and my father didn’t care when he told her he didn’t want to be a dad and walked away. Men used her because she had a big heart and didn’t care if they hurt her, and others used her for her body, when she only wanted to take care of her son.”
Closer and closer he got, until he stood right in front of Josiah and looked down at him. He fought to breathe around the ball in his throat. This was Tristan giving him more bits and pieces of his life that he kept locked so far inside of him.
“No one cared enough about her. People she thought loved her turned her into a prostitute and fed her drugs. They let people hurt her, until she became too afraid to leave our apartment. I didn’t...” Tristan shook his head, pain darkening all of his features. Though everything inside of Josiah wanted to know more, he wanted to take away Tristan’s pain even more. To make him forget the same way Tristan had done for him the first time they were together.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Josiah pushed up and covered Tristan’s mouth with his. He let his tongue dip inside and tangle with Tristan’s. His body began to overheat, his erection pressing against the zipper of his pants.
Tristan’s arm wrapped around him, pressed his lower back so Josiah didn’t have a choice but to mold his body against Tristan’s.
It wasn’t as though he wanted to fight him away.
And then Josiah’s mouth was the one invaded as Tristan fought his way inside, licking and tasting. Owning. His hands slid up and cupped Josiah’s face as his kisses slowed but were no less hungry.
When he pulled away, Josiah leaned in again, needing more, but Tristan didn’t let go of his face and didn’t let him move.
“I want you in my bed. I’m going to fuck you all night, Josiah.”
His erection throbbed with need. “I want you, too.” But then, he always did. Wanted him in every way.
“Go.” Tristan nodded for the kitchen door. Josiah didn’t argue, just started to move, and Tristan turned off the oven. He took the stairs with Tristan right behind him. Tried to walk into his room, but stopped with a firm grip on his arm. “No. I said my bed.”
Neither man moved. Josiah’s body thrummed to life, his erection impossibly hard. But it was more than that, and this time, he knew it was more to Tristan, too.
Chapter Fifteen
Tristan
Tristan watched Josiah as he slowly walked into his bedroom and turned to face him. He concentrated on his dark blond hair and the curve of his lips. On the shadow of hair on his jaw, and the way his throat moved when he swallowed. He concentrated on the rapid beat of his own heart, needing all of those things to drown out the voice in his head that told him to walk away. The one who told him to force Josiah out of his room and to board up his heart so he could stop finding his way in.
Then, as if Josiah knew he was losing Tristan, he pulled off Tristan’s tie. Slowly worked the buttons on his shirt, one by one. Tristan’s body was set in stone, unable to move, but then, he didn’t have to. Josiah pushed his shirt off his shoulders and ran his hands over Tristan’s chest, down his stomach, before he took care of Tristan’s pants, too.
“Has anyone ever taken care of you?” Josiah asked as he led Tristan to the bed.
Take control! Don’t give him power over you. But Tristan just kept walking. He sat on the edge of the bed and said, “I’ve never let a lover take care of me. I never wanted them to.”
“Will you let me?”
Christ, Josiah was so dangerous to him. He was more than just the kind man with the big heart. He was brave, and went after what he wanted. Tristan balanced on the edge, almost slipping over. Almost saying yes, but he caught himself before making the plunge. “Take off your clothes for me, Josiah. I want to see you.”
Josiah’s eyes drifted closed, and Tristan knew he’d let him down. All he’d had to do was mutter yes, and hand over the reins, but he couldn’t do it. The only man who ever had power over him had been Wilson, and he would never give that away again.
