Ben gave a humorless laugh. “Of course you do. Call me if you need anything, okay? I swear I will kick your ass if you don’t. You owe me this much. You at least owe me a goddamned two-way friendship.”
This time, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands. “I know.” That was all he could give tonight. Josiah had already taken a part of him this evening. Mateo, too. And now Ben.
As if he knew, Ben hung up without another word. Despite the grit in his eyes, Tristan knew he would never be able to sleep tonight. Hours later, he still sat in his half-dark office when the door slowly pushed open. Josiah walked in with a blanket wrapped around him.
“Are you okay?” Josiah asked quietly as he stood next to the chair on the other side of the desk.
Some of the weight pulling Tristan under seemed to fall away. “As good as I ever am.”
“You’re not angry? Do you regret it?” His shadowed form shifted its weight from one foot to the other.
“No. That’s not the first time I’ve done something like that, Josiah.”
His lover didn’t flinch, but said, “Yes it is. It might not have been the first time you were with two men, but I know it wasn’t the same. You never fully come out and admit it, but I know you feel something for me that you’ve never let yourself feel. That makes it different.”
Tristan sighed, almost cracked a smile. He loved that despite how quiet or shy Josiah was, there were so many things he didn’t hold back.
He raised a brow at Josiah. “You decided to wake up before dawn just to bust my balls?”
“Tristan.”
He wanted Josiah to continue but he didn’t. Waited for him to come closer, but he didn’t do that, either. Finally, Tristan spoke again. “You’re right. It is different, but no, I still don’t regret it. I’m not going to lie and say there aren’t parts of me that aren’t jealous. That hates knowing you were with him or that you want to be, but... Jesus, there’s something about the way you look at him, Josiah. The way he looks at you. And even though it should piss me off, it doesn’t, because you look at me the same way. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve seen people claim to love and care for someone, but it’s nothing like what you show when you look at us. It turns me on, seeing you take your pleasure from him. From both of us.”
Damned if it didn’t show him things he always thought were a fantasy. People so in tune with each other, like they were a part of one another. In a lot of ways, love, or what she perceived as love, had been what caused everything to go wrong for his mom, yet he knew what she’d had wasn’t in the same universe as Josiah’s love.
“That’s all there is to it?” Josiah came closer, but still the desk separated them.
Without Josiah continuing, Tristan knew what he meant. “I respect Mateo. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe most people wouldn’t, but I do. He protected someone he loved. He protected you. He’s loyal.” He fought himself to stop right there. Not to keep going because he was already raw, like someone had torn open his skin and left the wounds gaping. He made himself keep going for Josiah. “He’s been through a lot, but he doesn’t close himself off like I do. I envy him that.”
“He told you things about himself?”
“Yes. We walked while you were gone. I...”
“You’re a lot alike. You might not know it, and Teo might not, either, but you are. Both quietly noble, though neither of you will admit it.”
That made Tristan shake his head. “No, I’m not, but thank you.” What the hell was noble about letting his mom get hurt or being a rich man’s whore?
“I kissed him, Josiah. Right up against the wall of my office, while you were sleeping.”
Tristan held his breath while Josiah stood still and considered this.
“Damn. I missed it.”
A surprised laugh fell from Tristan’s mouth. He hadn’t seen that coming.
“You’re attracted to him.”
“I think that’s pretty obvious after how we spent our evening, don’t you?” He shook his head. How did they get into this situation?
Tristan looked up at Josiah. More light bled into the room now. His knowing eyes zeroed in on Tristan, flaring with liquid heat. But there was more in them, too. Things Tristan was too tired to try and figure out right now. All he knew was, he needed Josiah. Needed to show him something he couldn’t find the words to say.
“Are you naked under the blanket, Josiah? Drop it and let me see.” His balls already thrummed with heat. His cock, already painfully hard, got even more so when Josiah tossed the blanket onto the chair.
