“I never said I was,” I called after him.
* * *
I open up my soda and sip on it as I walk back to our lunch table. I sit down where Alex had been sitting, next to PJ and Reeve. Reeve’s looking at me just like he did that night, eyes narrow and suspicious. He says, “What are you pouting about now, Cho? Having to buy your own soda?”
“Shut up.”
“Girls like you—,” he starts to say, and then he gestures at me, and his arm accidentally knocks over my Coke. It splashes over the front of my sweater. Yelping, I jump up. PJ and Reeve push back their chairs to avoid the spill. I feel the Coke seeping through the cashmere onto my bra. The big brown spot spreads across my front. “You . . . you ruined it.”
“Chillax, Lillia. It was an accident.” Reeve comes at me with a napkin, trying to dab at the stain.
I recoil. “Don’t touch me!”
Sneering, Reeve says, “Oh, I forgot. Princess Lillia doesn’t like to be touched. Isn’t that right?” He winks at me.
“Reeve, leave her alone,” Rennie says.
My eyes fill. I bend my head and wipe at my sweater so that my hair falls across my face. I tell myself that everything is fine. It’s just Reeve being Reeve. He doesn’t know anything. How could he? Rennie wouldn’t tell anyone. We promised each other. I try to take a deep breath, but it catches in my throat. My bottom lip starts to quiver. I have to get out of here before I lose it in front of everyone.
“For your information, this sweater costs three hundred dollars, which is more than that jalopy you drive around.”
I pick up my bag and head for the girls’ bathroom. I run in and over to the sink and turn on the faucet. I won’t cry. I won’t. I will not cry at school. I don’t do that.
Except it’s not a choice.
I’m crying so hard that my shoulders shake and my throat hurts. I can’t stop.
The door opens, and I expect it to be Rennie. But it’s not. It’s Kat DeBrassio. She drops her bag into the well of the sink next to mine and messes with her hair in the mirror, shaking her bangs out.
I quickly splash my face with cold water to try to hide the fact that I’ve been crying. But she must see, because she asks, in her gruff way, “You okay?”
I stare straight ahead, at my reflection. “I’m fine.”
* * *
I met Rennie first, in the concessions stand line at the old movie theater on Main Street. I was ten years old and I felt so grown-up, standing alone with my ten dollar-bill in my back pocket. Rennie told me she liked my flip-flops. They were lavender and pink polka dot. She introduced me to Kat a couple of weeks later. From then on we were a trio. Before Rennie and Kat, I only had Nadia to play with when we came to spend the summer on Jar Island. Now I had two best friends.
Every Friday night we had sleepovers, and we’d alternate houses. We’d spy on Kat’s older brother and play with her dog, Shep. At Rennie’s condo we’d make microwave peanut brittle, and her mom would give us makeovers. At my house Rennie and Kat would race in the pool, and I’d stay in the shallow end and be the judge. We’d play with my Victorian dollhouse, and then, when we were older, we’d make movies with my dad’s camcorder and screen them for my mom and Nadia over breakfast.
I used to be jealous, knowing that when I left Jar Island at the end of August, Rennie and Kat still had each other. In a lot of ways the two of them were alike—both were fearless. I was the scaredy-cat. That’s what Kat was always calling me. I never wanted to jump off the high dive, or hold the rudder when Kat’s dad took us sailing, or go off with boys we met on the beach. But Rennie and Kat, they both looked out for me. Made me feel safe.
When my family decided to move here for good, it was a dream come true. That summer was a warm-up for the fun we were going to have in high school. But then, at the beginning of August, Rennie finally convinced her mom to let her get a nose job. I never thought she had a bad nose, but once Rennie pointed out the bump on the bridge, I saw it too. When the bandages came off and the scars healed, she was the one who decided we had to be cool in high school. Kat said it was dumb, and Rennie got pissed, and they had one of their blowups. I expected it to be over within a few days, the way their fights usually were, but a week later Rennie was still pissed. She said Kat was immature, she didn’t get it. She’d hold us back.
We didn’t drop Kat right away. We did our back-to-school shopping together off island, like we’d planned. We went to the movies for Kat’s birthday, but Rennie made a big deal about sitting next to me so we could share Sno-Caps, and that was awkward. Afterward we were supposed to spend the night at Kat’s house. But as we were walking out of the movie theater, Rennie announced that she didn’t feel good, that she wasn’t going to sleep over. It was obvious she was faking; Rennie’s a horrible actress. I pulled Kat aside and asked, “Do you still want me to come over?” and she said, “Forget it.”
I went home and mulled the whole thing over, first by myself, then with my mom. I told her how Rennie and Kat had been fighting, how Rennie didn’t want to be friends with Kat anymore, and how I felt caught in the middle. “I mean, if I have to take sides, I guess I’d probably take Rennie’s,” I said.
My mom said, “Why do you have to take sides? Why not be the one to bring them back together?”
“I doubt Rennie would listen,” I said.
“You could at least try,” she urged me. “Kat’s been through a lot. She needs her friends.”
I felt a pang of guilt. Kat’s mom had died the year before. Her mom had been sick for a long time. Kat didn’t want to talk about it, not to me at least. She talked to my mom sometimes, though, when Rennie and I were hanging out in my room.
“I’ll try,” I told my mom.
Then I had this great idea. For the first day of school, I would give Rennie and Kat friendship necklaces. It would bind us together again, smooth out the bad feelings.
My mom and I picked them out from the nice jewelry store in White Haven, the place where my dad always gets my mom something for their anniversary. Identical gold necklaces, with a special charm for each of us. I was really excited to give them the black velvet boxes; I knew that Rennie especially would love it.
That first day of school Rennie’s mom came to pick me up, and I expected to see both Kat and Rennie in the backseat. They lived on the same side of the island, and I lived farthest away.
* * *
I open up my soda and sip on it as I walk back to our lunch table. I sit down where Alex had been sitting, next to PJ and Reeve. Reeve’s looking at me just like he did that night, eyes narrow and suspicious. He says, “What are you pouting about now, Cho? Having to buy your own soda?”
“Shut up.”
“Girls like you—,” he starts to say, and then he gestures at me, and his arm accidentally knocks over my Coke. It splashes over the front of my sweater. Yelping, I jump up. PJ and Reeve push back their chairs to avoid the spill. I feel the Coke seeping through the cashmere onto my bra. The big brown spot spreads across my front. “You . . . you ruined it.”
“Chillax, Lillia. It was an accident.” Reeve comes at me with a napkin, trying to dab at the stain.
I recoil. “Don’t touch me!”
Sneering, Reeve says, “Oh, I forgot. Princess Lillia doesn’t like to be touched. Isn’t that right?” He winks at me.
“Reeve, leave her alone,” Rennie says.
My eyes fill. I bend my head and wipe at my sweater so that my hair falls across my face. I tell myself that everything is fine. It’s just Reeve being Reeve. He doesn’t know anything. How could he? Rennie wouldn’t tell anyone. We promised each other. I try to take a deep breath, but it catches in my throat. My bottom lip starts to quiver. I have to get out of here before I lose it in front of everyone.
“For your information, this sweater costs three hundred dollars, which is more than that jalopy you drive around.”
I pick up my bag and head for the girls’ bathroom. I run in and over to the sink and turn on the faucet. I won’t cry. I won’t. I will not cry at school. I don’t do that.
Except it’s not a choice.
I’m crying so hard that my shoulders shake and my throat hurts. I can’t stop.
The door opens, and I expect it to be Rennie. But it’s not. It’s Kat DeBrassio. She drops her bag into the well of the sink next to mine and messes with her hair in the mirror, shaking her bangs out.
I quickly splash my face with cold water to try to hide the fact that I’ve been crying. But she must see, because she asks, in her gruff way, “You okay?”
I stare straight ahead, at my reflection. “I’m fine.”
* * *
I met Rennie first, in the concessions stand line at the old movie theater on Main Street. I was ten years old and I felt so grown-up, standing alone with my ten dollar-bill in my back pocket. Rennie told me she liked my flip-flops. They were lavender and pink polka dot. She introduced me to Kat a couple of weeks later. From then on we were a trio. Before Rennie and Kat, I only had Nadia to play with when we came to spend the summer on Jar Island. Now I had two best friends.
Every Friday night we had sleepovers, and we’d alternate houses. We’d spy on Kat’s older brother and play with her dog, Shep. At Rennie’s condo we’d make microwave peanut brittle, and her mom would give us makeovers. At my house Rennie and Kat would race in the pool, and I’d stay in the shallow end and be the judge. We’d play with my Victorian dollhouse, and then, when we were older, we’d make movies with my dad’s camcorder and screen them for my mom and Nadia over breakfast.
I used to be jealous, knowing that when I left Jar Island at the end of August, Rennie and Kat still had each other. In a lot of ways the two of them were alike—both were fearless. I was the scaredy-cat. That’s what Kat was always calling me. I never wanted to jump off the high dive, or hold the rudder when Kat’s dad took us sailing, or go off with boys we met on the beach. But Rennie and Kat, they both looked out for me. Made me feel safe.
When my family decided to move here for good, it was a dream come true. That summer was a warm-up for the fun we were going to have in high school. But then, at the beginning of August, Rennie finally convinced her mom to let her get a nose job. I never thought she had a bad nose, but once Rennie pointed out the bump on the bridge, I saw it too. When the bandages came off and the scars healed, she was the one who decided we had to be cool in high school. Kat said it was dumb, and Rennie got pissed, and they had one of their blowups. I expected it to be over within a few days, the way their fights usually were, but a week later Rennie was still pissed. She said Kat was immature, she didn’t get it. She’d hold us back.
We didn’t drop Kat right away. We did our back-to-school shopping together off island, like we’d planned. We went to the movies for Kat’s birthday, but Rennie made a big deal about sitting next to me so we could share Sno-Caps, and that was awkward. Afterward we were supposed to spend the night at Kat’s house. But as we were walking out of the movie theater, Rennie announced that she didn’t feel good, that she wasn’t going to sleep over. It was obvious she was faking; Rennie’s a horrible actress. I pulled Kat aside and asked, “Do you still want me to come over?” and she said, “Forget it.”
I went home and mulled the whole thing over, first by myself, then with my mom. I told her how Rennie and Kat had been fighting, how Rennie didn’t want to be friends with Kat anymore, and how I felt caught in the middle. “I mean, if I have to take sides, I guess I’d probably take Rennie’s,” I said.
My mom said, “Why do you have to take sides? Why not be the one to bring them back together?”
“I doubt Rennie would listen,” I said.
“You could at least try,” she urged me. “Kat’s been through a lot. She needs her friends.”
I felt a pang of guilt. Kat’s mom had died the year before. Her mom had been sick for a long time. Kat didn’t want to talk about it, not to me at least. She talked to my mom sometimes, though, when Rennie and I were hanging out in my room.
“I’ll try,” I told my mom.
Then I had this great idea. For the first day of school, I would give Rennie and Kat friendship necklaces. It would bind us together again, smooth out the bad feelings.
My mom and I picked them out from the nice jewelry store in White Haven, the place where my dad always gets my mom something for their anniversary. Identical gold necklaces, with a special charm for each of us. I was really excited to give them the black velvet boxes; I knew that Rennie especially would love it.
That first day of school Rennie’s mom came to pick me up, and I expected to see both Kat and Rennie in the backseat. They lived on the same side of the island, and I lived farthest away.
