Bristling, Lillia says, “See, this is what I’m talking about.”
I can tell they’re about two seconds from going at it again. The thought of me not getting revenge, of this whole thing falling apart before I get to Reeve—it’s unthinkable. But if it’s this hard for Lillia, I know it’ll be even harder for me. I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that Reeve deserves this. He deserves everything that’s coming to him, and then some.
In a strong, clear voice, I say, “Guys. Stop it.”
They both look at me in surprise.
I continue. “I believe in this, in what we’re trying to do. Just knowing that Reeve is going to get what’s coming to him, I feel more peace than I have in years.” I take a fast breath, in case they try to interrupt me, but they don’t. They’re actually listening. “I know you two have a complicated history, and there’s a lot of stuff in your past. But none of that matters anymore. We’re all here because somebody hurt us.” I turn to Lillia. “If I had a sister and someone took advantage of her, I’d want to get them back tenfold. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think that’s being a good big sister. What you’re doing right now, it’s protecting your sister. I—I wish someone had done that for me.”
Lillia’s chin trembles. “That’s all I want. To protect Nadia.”
Kat clicks her tongue at her. “What are you talking about? You’re a good big sis, Lil. You always have been.”
Lillia pulls her ChapStick out of her purse and dabs it on her lips. “Let’s just go over the plans for tomorrow’s football game. There’s a lot we need to cover.”
That fast, we’re back down to business.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KAT
IT’S FRIDAY, JUST AFTER SEVEN. THE ORIGINAL PLAN was to pick up a part for Ricky’s bike from the auto shop, but it was already closed and now we’re just driving around. Me, Ricky, and Joe in Joe’s hatchback. Ricky and Joe are guys I know through my brother, Pat. They were both a year ahead of me in school. Joe hasn’t graduated yet because he never goes to class, and Ricky’s at community college now. Lillia would probably consider them losers, but they’re good guys.
I’m sitting shotgun, and Ricky’s asleep in the backseat. To Joe I say, “Where are we going?”
“Where are we ever going?” Joe says, his eyes barely open. “Nowhere.”
Ricky sleep-mumbles, “That’s why she stopped hanging out with us this summer.”
“Shut up. I did not.” But I did. I was with Alex, most of the time. I turn around and punch Ricky in the shoulder. “Wake up! Come on. It’s Friday night. Let’s do something.”
“You have a real restless spirit, Kat,” Joe says. “You should chill out.”
I am restless, because the football game will be starting soon. I lean forward in my seat and drum my hands on the dashboard. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we stop by school? There’s a game tonight. Let’s go laugh at people.”
Joe gives me a look like I’m crazy.
Ricky sits up and says, “A football game? No way.”
“Come on, guys,” I wheedle. “I mean, what else are we going to do? Drive around all night?” I open up my bag and dangle a bag of weed I stole off my brother. “You guys smoke. I’ll drive.”
It’s an offer they can’t refuse.
* * *
Half an hour later we’re standing underneath the bleachers by the end zone. The game is just about to start. Lillia’s warming up on the sideline, doing kicks and jumps. I catch her eye, and she gives a nod before she bends into a stretch. So that means she got it done. Good. I was kind of worried after that conversation in the pool yesterday. I need to chill out on pressing her buttons. Because the truth is, if Lillia decided to walk away, there’s nothing I could do to stop her. Even if I went around telling everybody at school what she did to Alex, nobody would care, not after they found out her reasons. It kills me to say it, but I need her more than she needs me. If it wasn’t for Mary, we would have imploded yesterday, and where would that leave me?
I take a drag off Joe’s cigarette, and that’s when I spot Mary in the bleachers. She waves at me excitedly. I look away—but not before I see the flash of hurt cross her face.
I feel bad. She’s sitting alone up there. But it’s not like I can ask her to join me and Joe and Ricky. They’d ask questions; they’d want to know who she was. And Mary would probably faint at the sight of a j. It’s better this way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MARY
YIKES.
I avert my eyes and sink low into the bleachers. I’m such an idiot for waving at Kat with all these people around. So much for flying under the radar. Also, waving at someone and them not waving back at you is sooo embarrassing. Hopefully no one noticed.
I do think Kat and I could be friends, when this is over. Lillia I’m not so sure about. I mean, I hope we’ll talk once in a while. But she’s so popular. She doesn’t need another friend. I guess the best I can hope for there is that we’ll be able to stop pretending not to know each other when we’re in public.
Down near the front of the bleachers, the Jar Island band kicks into a fight song. I can’t see the band from where I’m sitting, up in the very top row. Just the rims of their shiny brass instruments moving side to side in unison and the white feathers sticking up from the tops of their hats.
Everyone around me sings along. They flap their arms like seagull wings and stomp their feet on the bleachers to make thunder.
I don’t know the song.
Lillia and Rennie are down on the football field in their cheering uniforms. Rennie has a megaphone with a big C painted on the side, I guess because she’s the captain. The other cheerleaders on the squad stand in a perfectly straight row, the toes of their Keds just touching the white chalk sideline. Lillia, Rennie, and Ashlin walk the line and inspect each of the other cheerleaders closely—adjusting the curls of white satin ribbon that tie up everyone’s ponytails, straightening their sweaters, dotting lip gloss on the girls who need it. When they reach the end of the line, Rennie and Lillia confer. Then Lillia runs off and grabs Rennie’s stubby white pom-poms for her, and together they shake them, along with the rest of the squad, and try to get the people in the bleachers pumped up.
I watch Lillia and Rennie do a quick choreographed dance with each other, smiling and laughing in each other’s faces. More and more I realize how hard this must be for her—to act like she’s friends with Rennie while she’s about to help Kat stab her in the back. I mean, really, everyone we’re taking revenge on is one of Lillia’s friends.
I can tell they’re about two seconds from going at it again. The thought of me not getting revenge, of this whole thing falling apart before I get to Reeve—it’s unthinkable. But if it’s this hard for Lillia, I know it’ll be even harder for me. I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that Reeve deserves this. He deserves everything that’s coming to him, and then some.
In a strong, clear voice, I say, “Guys. Stop it.”
They both look at me in surprise.
I continue. “I believe in this, in what we’re trying to do. Just knowing that Reeve is going to get what’s coming to him, I feel more peace than I have in years.” I take a fast breath, in case they try to interrupt me, but they don’t. They’re actually listening. “I know you two have a complicated history, and there’s a lot of stuff in your past. But none of that matters anymore. We’re all here because somebody hurt us.” I turn to Lillia. “If I had a sister and someone took advantage of her, I’d want to get them back tenfold. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think that’s being a good big sister. What you’re doing right now, it’s protecting your sister. I—I wish someone had done that for me.”
Lillia’s chin trembles. “That’s all I want. To protect Nadia.”
Kat clicks her tongue at her. “What are you talking about? You’re a good big sis, Lil. You always have been.”
Lillia pulls her ChapStick out of her purse and dabs it on her lips. “Let’s just go over the plans for tomorrow’s football game. There’s a lot we need to cover.”
That fast, we’re back down to business.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KAT
IT’S FRIDAY, JUST AFTER SEVEN. THE ORIGINAL PLAN was to pick up a part for Ricky’s bike from the auto shop, but it was already closed and now we’re just driving around. Me, Ricky, and Joe in Joe’s hatchback. Ricky and Joe are guys I know through my brother, Pat. They were both a year ahead of me in school. Joe hasn’t graduated yet because he never goes to class, and Ricky’s at community college now. Lillia would probably consider them losers, but they’re good guys.
I’m sitting shotgun, and Ricky’s asleep in the backseat. To Joe I say, “Where are we going?”
“Where are we ever going?” Joe says, his eyes barely open. “Nowhere.”
Ricky sleep-mumbles, “That’s why she stopped hanging out with us this summer.”
“Shut up. I did not.” But I did. I was with Alex, most of the time. I turn around and punch Ricky in the shoulder. “Wake up! Come on. It’s Friday night. Let’s do something.”
“You have a real restless spirit, Kat,” Joe says. “You should chill out.”
I am restless, because the football game will be starting soon. I lean forward in my seat and drum my hands on the dashboard. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we stop by school? There’s a game tonight. Let’s go laugh at people.”
Joe gives me a look like I’m crazy.
Ricky sits up and says, “A football game? No way.”
“Come on, guys,” I wheedle. “I mean, what else are we going to do? Drive around all night?” I open up my bag and dangle a bag of weed I stole off my brother. “You guys smoke. I’ll drive.”
It’s an offer they can’t refuse.
* * *
Half an hour later we’re standing underneath the bleachers by the end zone. The game is just about to start. Lillia’s warming up on the sideline, doing kicks and jumps. I catch her eye, and she gives a nod before she bends into a stretch. So that means she got it done. Good. I was kind of worried after that conversation in the pool yesterday. I need to chill out on pressing her buttons. Because the truth is, if Lillia decided to walk away, there’s nothing I could do to stop her. Even if I went around telling everybody at school what she did to Alex, nobody would care, not after they found out her reasons. It kills me to say it, but I need her more than she needs me. If it wasn’t for Mary, we would have imploded yesterday, and where would that leave me?
I take a drag off Joe’s cigarette, and that’s when I spot Mary in the bleachers. She waves at me excitedly. I look away—but not before I see the flash of hurt cross her face.
I feel bad. She’s sitting alone up there. But it’s not like I can ask her to join me and Joe and Ricky. They’d ask questions; they’d want to know who she was. And Mary would probably faint at the sight of a j. It’s better this way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MARY
YIKES.
I avert my eyes and sink low into the bleachers. I’m such an idiot for waving at Kat with all these people around. So much for flying under the radar. Also, waving at someone and them not waving back at you is sooo embarrassing. Hopefully no one noticed.
I do think Kat and I could be friends, when this is over. Lillia I’m not so sure about. I mean, I hope we’ll talk once in a while. But she’s so popular. She doesn’t need another friend. I guess the best I can hope for there is that we’ll be able to stop pretending not to know each other when we’re in public.
Down near the front of the bleachers, the Jar Island band kicks into a fight song. I can’t see the band from where I’m sitting, up in the very top row. Just the rims of their shiny brass instruments moving side to side in unison and the white feathers sticking up from the tops of their hats.
Everyone around me sings along. They flap their arms like seagull wings and stomp their feet on the bleachers to make thunder.
I don’t know the song.
Lillia and Rennie are down on the football field in their cheering uniforms. Rennie has a megaphone with a big C painted on the side, I guess because she’s the captain. The other cheerleaders on the squad stand in a perfectly straight row, the toes of their Keds just touching the white chalk sideline. Lillia, Rennie, and Ashlin walk the line and inspect each of the other cheerleaders closely—adjusting the curls of white satin ribbon that tie up everyone’s ponytails, straightening their sweaters, dotting lip gloss on the girls who need it. When they reach the end of the line, Rennie and Lillia confer. Then Lillia runs off and grabs Rennie’s stubby white pom-poms for her, and together they shake them, along with the rest of the squad, and try to get the people in the bleachers pumped up.
I watch Lillia and Rennie do a quick choreographed dance with each other, smiling and laughing in each other’s faces. More and more I realize how hard this must be for her—to act like she’s friends with Rennie while she’s about to help Kat stab her in the back. I mean, really, everyone we’re taking revenge on is one of Lillia’s friends.
