Burning Wild
Page 27

“The nurse called me the minute there was a problem, just as you instructed. Emma signed the papers on the helicopter ride over, giving formal consent for you to adopt the baby. Ms. Hacker witnessed her signature. The rest is a formality. I’ll take it to the judge.”
“Tonight, John,” Jake said. “I want it done the moment the child is born.”
If the baby lived, it would bear his name. He had promised Emma he would give the child his name and raise it, and he had every intention of keeping his word to her. One more tie to her. If Emma died . . . He slammed the door shut on that thought, his heart contracting painfully.
“She’s in surgery?”
Jake nodded, unable to find his voice. Activity in the halls sent him striding past the lawyer. He turned as a doctor approached.
“Emma?” He bit her name out, fear skittering through his body like a lethal snake.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Bannaconni, she’s still in surgery.”
He couldn’t breathe. He stood there, head down, not looking at any of them, and thought he was going to choke on his own fear. It was silly, really. He’d been beaten nearly to death as a child and he hadn’t experienced such a wave of terror. How had she done that? How had she snuck into his head and wrapped herself so tightly around him, he didn’t know how to live without her in his life?
The doctor cleared his throat. “Your little girl is underweight, of course, and will have to be in a radiant warmer. She’s unable to keep her body temperature, but we did expect that, with her being so early. She’s having a little trouble breathing on her own and we have her on a ventilator. There are a few problems . . .”
Jake swung around, meeting the doctor’s gaze. “You do whatever it takes to make my daughter live and be healthy. That’s why you’re here. We both knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I was told you were the best at what you do. So you do it.”
“I’ll do my best.” The doctor knew better than to promise something he wasn’t certain he could deliver to a grief-stricken parent.
“Her name is Andraya Emma Bannaconni.”
“Yes, sir. The nurses will bring the paperwork.”
“I want it immediately. I want her to have an official name immediately.”
“Would you like to see her?”
Jake forced air through his lungs. “Not until Emma is safe.” He turned his back again, dismissing the man. His fingers curled, nails digging into his palm. It had been years since he felt the slice of a knife in his thigh, but he wanted to feel it now, to score another victory. His daughter was alive. Now he needed Emma to live.
He waited until he heard the doctor’s retreating footsteps before glancing over his shoulder at his lawyer and then turning back to the window, not daring to show his face while he was vulnerable. “As soon as we take care of the paperwork here, you leave and take care of the adoption. I want it filed immediately.”
“Jake, with your name on the birth certificate, she’s safe for the time being.”
Jake’s voice went low, threatening. “I want it filed today,” he repeated, “whatever it costs. And make certain the ruling is sealed and doesn’t become a media event. I mean that, John. You make certain anyone seeing those papers understands there will be severe repercussions if it comes out that I’m not her biological father.” He looked over his shoulder, pinning Stillman with a hard gaze. “I’ll make it my business to destroy them if they fuck this up. You let them know who they’re dealing with.”
Stillman stood behind him for a long time, then went to sit down, waiting for the nurse to bring the papers to fill out. He wasn’t surprised when an administrator brought the paper immediately. Jake took his time, penning neatly, making certain the child would be safe should anything happen to the mother. Stillman stayed quiet in a corner, feeling as though he couldn’t leave Jake alone, although the man so obviously wanted to be.
Jake began to pace like a dangerous animal. He felt dangerous, scattered, out of control—all things that brought the leopard close to the surface. His skin itched and his temper smoldered. He found himself angry with Emma for continuing a pregnancy that could kill her. He was angry with himself for allowing her to get close enough to him to make him feel so lost without her. He didn’t honestly know how it had happened when he’d set out to entrap her.
He rested his hand on the window, spreading his fingers wide, his throat raw, his belly in tight, protesting knots.
The glass fogged from his breath and he traced letters in the mist. Let her live. Three words. That was all. A lifetime of nothing and finally Emma. Let her live. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against the pane. He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop thinking about her, but he knew if she made it through this, he would have to distance himself enough to regain the control between them. Please, God, if you exist, let her live.
He closed his eyes and breathed deep, turning his will to find her. Emma. I won’t let you leave me. You can’t go. Do you hear me? I’m giving you an order. Hang on to life. The children need you. Kyle. Andraya.
He wouldn’t use himself as a bargaining chip. She didn’t look at him with that look. The one she reserved for Kyle. Or Andrew. That bastard Andrew, who’d had it all. We have a baby girl. A beautiful little girl. Live for her.
For me. Live for me.
Why couldn’t anyone love him? He pulled back and stared at his own reflection. Cold. Unfeeling. The eyes of a predator. Yet right then he wasn’t unfeeling. His lungs heaved and his eyes burned. The leopard leapt and roared, clawed for freedom to protect him from too much feeling.