Burning Wild
Page 79
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Jake slid out, stretching his muscles, his stomach settling a little. She was scared, more scared than he’d ever seen her, but she wasn’t running from him. He believed he could make her happy and he was relentless when he wanted something. He wanted Emma more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He knew how to negotiate and come out on top; he’d been doing it all of his life. And he knew he was about to close the deal.
“Emma, you know damn well I care about you. You aren’t blind. I’ve never in my life needed or wanted to mark a woman the way I marked you. I had a primitive urge to get my scent all over you so every man who came near you would know you were taken—that you belong to me. I’m thirty-five years old. I’ve never wanted to marry until now. I may not be gentle or romantic, but you know you’ll have my unswerving loyalty and my absolute protection and care. And along with that, I’ll make certain you’re satisfied every day of your life.”
He hadn’t said love, but then, Jake wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have believed it of himself and he would have been lying if he’d used the word. He never even said he loved Kyle or Andraya, yet she’d seen evidence of it. Was she strong enough to take him the way he was? She didn’t know. If she didn’t love him, it wouldn’t have been as hard. But she did. She couldn’t look at him without wanting him happy. She knew herself, knew she’d give too much. She was an all-or-nothing woman. She loved Jake and she’d give him everything she was.
“Define loyalty. Does that mean you’ll go out, have sex with other women and then always come back to me? Or does that mean a completely monogamous relationship?”
“I’d use my bare hands to break the neck of any man who dared to touch you, Emma. I don’t expect less of myself than I do of you. When I say loyalty, that’s complete fidelity. I expect it of you, and if I cheated, I wouldn’t be worth keeping, nor would you.”
She took a deep breath. She had the feeling he was more than capable of breaking someone’s neck, and that he would if provoked. There was a lot of violence in Jake. She suspected his past was one of abuse, but he’d never told her. She saw his scars. He referred to his parents as his enemies and he was never trusting, not at all.
“Let’s dispense with some of your other concerns, honey. That might help. What are you thinking about right now? There’s fear in your eyes.”
Her gaze shifted from his and then jumped back to his face as if expecting him to be upset with her. “When you loom over me I feel threatened, physically threatened. You can be very frightening, Jake. Yell all you want, but no hitting. Ever.”
He started to agree, then stopped. “We need to talk about this. If I ever hit you or the children in anger, Emma, I want you to take the children and go straight to Drake and Joshua. Tell them what happened and have them help you leave. And don’t come back. Don’t ever take me back. I want you to promise me you’ll do that. Drake and Joshua will have orders to help you. They’ll take you somewhere safe where I can’t get to you.”
She looked up at him, her gaze searching his. She nodded.
“But . . .” His smile turned sensual and her gaze turned wary. “There are things we can do in the bedroom that aren’t done in anger. Things that can be very erotic.”
She looked outraged and a little curious. “Hitting is not erotic under any circumstances.”
“No, but a spanking can be. And there are other things. I don’t want us to rule them out until you try them with me. If you don’t like something, we won’t do it again, but there will be no lying to me or to you. If you’re finding pleasure but you’re scared, we’ll be continuing. When you tell me no, you make damn sure that hot little body of yours isn’t wet.”
“That’s not fair, Jake,” Emma protested. “You always make me wet, even when you terrify me.” Like now. The words were unspoken but she blushed a dark crimson, afraid she might have said them aloud.
He framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, teasing at her reluctant mouth with tugging teeth and a dancing tongue until she opened for him. He was a phenomenal kisser, and she lost herself in him, giving herself up completely. He lifted his face first and traced her cheekbones with the pads of his fingertips.
“I like you wet for me. Don’t ever be embarrassed because you want me.” His hand dropped casually to the thick erection bulging in the front of his jeans. “I have the hard-on from hell and I’m not embarrassed. Isn’t it better that you’re a little in lust with the man you’re going to marry?”
“It doesn’t seem normal,” she confessed in a small voice. “We just . . .” Her voice trailed off and she made a face. “I’m still upset with you.”
“There’s no reason to be upset, Emma. You misread what I was doing. I can understand, after our earlier conversation, why you thought that, but never think it again. You’re mine, and I would never want you for my own if I didn’t respect you.”
He pulled a small box from his jeans. “This is for you. I had it made for you and if you put it on your finger, Emma, there’s no taking it back.”
He opened the box. The ring was unusual; brilliant golden diamonds shone up at her. They looked like a cat’s eye, the way they were shaped.
She sucked in her breath and put both hands behind her back to keep from reaching for it. “Jake.” She shook her head. “If I do this, you know you’ll be worse. You control everything, you can’t help yourself, and that’s a serious red flag for me.”
“Emma, you know damn well I care about you. You aren’t blind. I’ve never in my life needed or wanted to mark a woman the way I marked you. I had a primitive urge to get my scent all over you so every man who came near you would know you were taken—that you belong to me. I’m thirty-five years old. I’ve never wanted to marry until now. I may not be gentle or romantic, but you know you’ll have my unswerving loyalty and my absolute protection and care. And along with that, I’ll make certain you’re satisfied every day of your life.”
He hadn’t said love, but then, Jake wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have believed it of himself and he would have been lying if he’d used the word. He never even said he loved Kyle or Andraya, yet she’d seen evidence of it. Was she strong enough to take him the way he was? She didn’t know. If she didn’t love him, it wouldn’t have been as hard. But she did. She couldn’t look at him without wanting him happy. She knew herself, knew she’d give too much. She was an all-or-nothing woman. She loved Jake and she’d give him everything she was.
“Define loyalty. Does that mean you’ll go out, have sex with other women and then always come back to me? Or does that mean a completely monogamous relationship?”
“I’d use my bare hands to break the neck of any man who dared to touch you, Emma. I don’t expect less of myself than I do of you. When I say loyalty, that’s complete fidelity. I expect it of you, and if I cheated, I wouldn’t be worth keeping, nor would you.”
She took a deep breath. She had the feeling he was more than capable of breaking someone’s neck, and that he would if provoked. There was a lot of violence in Jake. She suspected his past was one of abuse, but he’d never told her. She saw his scars. He referred to his parents as his enemies and he was never trusting, not at all.
“Let’s dispense with some of your other concerns, honey. That might help. What are you thinking about right now? There’s fear in your eyes.”
Her gaze shifted from his and then jumped back to his face as if expecting him to be upset with her. “When you loom over me I feel threatened, physically threatened. You can be very frightening, Jake. Yell all you want, but no hitting. Ever.”
He started to agree, then stopped. “We need to talk about this. If I ever hit you or the children in anger, Emma, I want you to take the children and go straight to Drake and Joshua. Tell them what happened and have them help you leave. And don’t come back. Don’t ever take me back. I want you to promise me you’ll do that. Drake and Joshua will have orders to help you. They’ll take you somewhere safe where I can’t get to you.”
She looked up at him, her gaze searching his. She nodded.
“But . . .” His smile turned sensual and her gaze turned wary. “There are things we can do in the bedroom that aren’t done in anger. Things that can be very erotic.”
She looked outraged and a little curious. “Hitting is not erotic under any circumstances.”
“No, but a spanking can be. And there are other things. I don’t want us to rule them out until you try them with me. If you don’t like something, we won’t do it again, but there will be no lying to me or to you. If you’re finding pleasure but you’re scared, we’ll be continuing. When you tell me no, you make damn sure that hot little body of yours isn’t wet.”
“That’s not fair, Jake,” Emma protested. “You always make me wet, even when you terrify me.” Like now. The words were unspoken but she blushed a dark crimson, afraid she might have said them aloud.
He framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, teasing at her reluctant mouth with tugging teeth and a dancing tongue until she opened for him. He was a phenomenal kisser, and she lost herself in him, giving herself up completely. He lifted his face first and traced her cheekbones with the pads of his fingertips.
“I like you wet for me. Don’t ever be embarrassed because you want me.” His hand dropped casually to the thick erection bulging in the front of his jeans. “I have the hard-on from hell and I’m not embarrassed. Isn’t it better that you’re a little in lust with the man you’re going to marry?”
“It doesn’t seem normal,” she confessed in a small voice. “We just . . .” Her voice trailed off and she made a face. “I’m still upset with you.”
“There’s no reason to be upset, Emma. You misread what I was doing. I can understand, after our earlier conversation, why you thought that, but never think it again. You’re mine, and I would never want you for my own if I didn’t respect you.”
He pulled a small box from his jeans. “This is for you. I had it made for you and if you put it on your finger, Emma, there’s no taking it back.”
He opened the box. The ring was unusual; brilliant golden diamonds shone up at her. They looked like a cat’s eye, the way they were shaped.
She sucked in her breath and put both hands behind her back to keep from reaching for it. “Jake.” She shook her head. “If I do this, you know you’ll be worse. You control everything, you can’t help yourself, and that’s a serious red flag for me.”
