Can You Keep a Secret?
Page 101

'Right,' I give a little wince. 'I can understand that.'
There's silence for a while. My brain is trying to slot all the pieces together. Trying to work it all out.
'But I don't understand,' I say. 'Why did you make me keep it a secret that you'd been in Scotland? Nobody would know, surely.'
Jack rolls his eyes ruefully.
'That was my own dumb stupid fault. I'd told some people I was going across to Paris that day, just as an extra precaution. I took an anonymous flight. I thought no-one would ever know. Then I walk into the office … and there you are.'
'Your heart sank.'
'Not exactly.' He meets my eyes. 'It didn't quite know which way to go.'
I feel a sudden colour coming to my cheeks and awkwardly clear my throat.
'So … er …' I say, looking away. 'So that's why …'
'All I wanted was to avoid you piping up, "Hey, he wasn't in Paris, he was in Scotland!" and start some huge intrigue going.' Jack shakes his head. 'You'd be amazed at the ludicrous theories people will put together when they don't have anything better to do. You know, I've heard it all. I'm planning to sell the company … I'm gay … I'm in the Mafia …'
'Er … really?' I say, and smooth down a strand of hair. 'Gosh. How stupid of people!'
A couple of girls wander nearby, and we both fall silent for a while.
'Emma, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this before,' Jack says in a low voice. 'I know you were hurt. I know it felt like I was shutting you out. But … it's just not something you share lightly.'
'No!' I say immediately. 'Of course you couldn't have done. I was stupid.'
I scuff my toe awkwardly on the gravel, feeling a bit shamefaced. I should have known it would be something important. When he said it was complicated and sensitive, he was just telling the truth.
'Only a handful of people know about this.' Jack meets my eyes gravely. 'A handful of special, trusted people.'
There's something in his gaze which makes my throat feel a bit tight. I stare back at him, feeling blood rising in my cheeks.
'Are you going in?' comes a bright voice. We jump, and look up to see a woman in black jeans approaching. 'The performance is about to start!' she says with a beam.
I feel like she's slapped me awake from a dream.
'I … I have to go and watch Lissy dancing,' I say dazedly.
'Right. Well, I'll leave you then. That was really all I had to say.' Slowly Jack gets to his feet, then turns back. 'There's one more thing.' He looks at me for a few silent moments. 'Emma, I realize these last few days can't have been easy for you. You have been the model of discretion throughout, whereas I … have not. And I just wanted to apologize. Again.'
'That's … that's OK,' I manage.
Jack turns again, and I watch him walking slowly away over the gravel, feeling completely torn.
He came all the way here to tell me his secret. His big, precious secret.
He didn't have to do that.
Oh God. Oh God …
'Wait!' I hear myself calling out, and Jack immediately turns. 'Would you … would you like to come too?' And I feel a ripple of pleasure as his face creases into a smile.
As we crunch over the gravel together, I pluck up the courage to speak.
'Jack, I've got something to say too. About … about what you were just saying. I know I said you ruined my life the other day.'
'I remember,' says Jack wryly.
'Well, I may possibly have been wrong about that.' I clear my throat awkwardly. 'In fact … I was wrong.' I look at him frankly. 'Jack, you didn't ruin my life.'
'I didn't?' says Jack. 'Do I get another shot?'
In spite of myself, a giggle rises inside me.
'No!'
'No? Is that your final answer?'
As he looks at me there's a bigger question in his eyes, and I feel a little shaft, half hope, half apprehension. For a long while neither of us says anything. I'm breathing rather fast.
Suddenly Jack's gaze falls with interest on my hand. 'I am over Jack,' he reads aloud.
Fuck.
My entire face flames with colour.
I am never writing anything on my hand again. Ever.
'That's just …' I clear my throat again. 'That was just a doodle … it didn't mean …'
A shrill ring from my mobile interrupts me. Thank God. Whoever this is, I love them. I hastily pull it out and press green.
'Emma, you're going to love me for ever!' come Jemima's piercing tones.
'What?' I stare at the phone.
'I've sorted everything out for you!' she says triumphantly. 'I know, I'm a total star, you don't know what you'd do without me—'
'What?' I feel a twinge of alarm. 'Jemima, what are you talking about?'
'Getting your revenge on Jack Harper, silly! Since you were just sitting there like a total wimp, I've taken matters into my own hands.'
For moment I can't quite move.