I saw it in slow motion.
As I felt myself falling forward, Andrea’s eyes widened. A look of pure terror washed over her as she flailed backward. She was trying to grab something, but her head was going to hit the door.
I reached for her. My hand was in the air, extending toward her, but then my seatbelt snapped tight. I heard the thud as the back of her head hit the door. She slumped forward immediately.
She was unconscious.
After that, everything happened so fast. I was barely able to understand.
There was shooting.
My door opened.
There was a struggle beside it. Thomas fought someone with a black mask on. He raised a gun, and Thomas brought his arm down in a chopping motion. The gun fell to the ground.
Get it!
I tried to lean out of the car to grab it, but the guy hit Thomas again. They were wrestling each other, and the guy kept trying to throw Thomas out of the way so he could reach inside for me. As they grappled with each other, Thomas’ foot hit the gun. It went sliding underneath the car.
Seatbelt. Seatbelt.
Panic rose up in me, but I needed to remain calm. I needed to help. Get that gun. That phrase repeated in my head. Get the gun. I reached for my seatbelt with stiff fingers, and I fumbled trying to release the latch. Finally my finger hit the button with enough force. The belt released, and I almost pitched forward off the seat.
Oh, Andrea. She slouched forward, her seatbelt holding her in place. And her arms lay beside her like noodles. Her head bobbed back and forth, moving with the motion of the car as it was jostled by the fight outside.
Carter. I needed Carter.
No, get it together, Emma! I yelled at myself in my head. Taking a shuddering breath, I felt fear climbing through my veins. My body started to shut down as more and more gunshots sounded outside. I wanted to curl up in a ball and close my eyes. Maybe everything would go away. But no. It wouldn’t.
“Come on, little girlie.”
The voice was high-pitched, with an evil twinge.
I huddled further in my bed. My mom was coming. I couldn’t hide. She was coming for me, not Andy. Andy was too small. She’d been hurt the day before, and she was still crying in her bed. It was my turn. I wanted to pull the blanket over me. I imagined it was a fortress. Once I was inside, no one could get through to me. I was safe.
My daydreams never helped me. The light outside my door changed to darkness with her shadow. She was right there. She was coming in.
“I know you’re in there, Ally. Come on, little girl.” She was trying to whisper, but she was giggling. The shadow weaved back and forth. “Honey, it’s your mommy. Do you want a bedtime story? We can act out the stories. How about that, Alley Cat?”
The doorknob started to turn.
I had locked it, and I waited, holding my breath. She was going to get mad. She always did. Then she’d have to teach me what was right and wrong. Locking Mom out of the room was the wrong thing to do.
I didn’t care. I kept locking it. She could keep hurting me, but… The doorknob stuck, and I heard her angry hiss from the other side of the door. Tears rolled down my face as I stared at the door. I couldn't run anywhere. She’d found me in the closet last time. She was even madder because of that.
“Ally!”
I almost screamed, but I turned to see AJ at the window. He motioned for me. “Come on. Open the window.”
If I did she’d be so mad.
If I didn’t… I climbed out of my bed and went to the window. Once it was open, I whispered, still crying, “She can’t find me, AJ. She can’t find me.”
A fierce determination flashed over his face. “She won’t. I promise, Alley Cat. Come on.”
I crawled up and held my arms out. AJ scooped me up, jumped down from the tree, and ran away. I wrapped my little arms around his neck and looked back. The light in my room turned on, and then I heard her screech, “Ally!”
I closed my eyes and pressed into AJ’s neck. I burrowed against him, trying to be as small as I could.
Right now the little girl in me wanted to hide. I shoved that person aside and crawled over my sister. I reached for the other door. The gun would be there. I knew it. But as I pulled on the handle, something wrenched me backward.
I found myself in the front seat, and a body clambered over me, pushing me down to the floor. I scratched and clawed at the person on top of me until I realized it was Thomas.
It was Thomas.
He shielded me as he shot at the person trying to come into the car.
Bang! Bang!
Two shots rang out. Then there was silence.
Thomas’ body went limp. His arms fell back onto the seat beside us.
Emma, flatten yourself.
It was like Carter was there. I could hear him telling me what to do.
Make yourself as little as possible. They’re coming in. Thomas is lying over you. They might not think you’re there. You need to be still.
I started trembling and closed my eyes. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight back. I wanted to run away. I wanted to find a gun and start shooting. But I didn’t. I listened to what I know Carter would’ve told me.
I needed to be calm. I needed to be rational.
I closed my eyes and lay there. Then I escaped. My mind left my body, that car, and whatever was going to happen. I remembered Carter. I remembered AJ. I remembered a good memory from when we were kids.
“Come on, Emma,” AJ called from the living room. “Movie night, and you’re on popcorn duty.”
A normal teenager would’ve grumbled. Not me. Movie night meant a full night with my brother and his best friend in the house. All night. They weren’t out doing whatever they did. They were safe. Carter was safe.
My body warmed. I was going to see Carter for the next few hours. A surge of adrenaline had me buzzing as I got off the bed, put my book away, and walked down the hall. I could hear them talking. They were laughing about something, some guy named Dunvan. AJ called him an idiot. Carter laughed, but not as much as my brother.
My knees were a little unsteady. I was always like this. AJ said it was puberty. It was because of Carter, though. Then I stood in the doorway to the kitchen. AJ had his arm up, making waving motions in the air. “I don’t need to worry about him. Dude, I’m primed for a win. Seriously. We should pool our money together. Dunvan’s all talk. He won’t do shit. You know that. He’s been threatening the same crap for years now.”
As my brother talked, Carter leaned against the counter. His eyes slid past AJ to me, and he grew somber.
As I felt myself falling forward, Andrea’s eyes widened. A look of pure terror washed over her as she flailed backward. She was trying to grab something, but her head was going to hit the door.
I reached for her. My hand was in the air, extending toward her, but then my seatbelt snapped tight. I heard the thud as the back of her head hit the door. She slumped forward immediately.
She was unconscious.
After that, everything happened so fast. I was barely able to understand.
There was shooting.
My door opened.
There was a struggle beside it. Thomas fought someone with a black mask on. He raised a gun, and Thomas brought his arm down in a chopping motion. The gun fell to the ground.
Get it!
I tried to lean out of the car to grab it, but the guy hit Thomas again. They were wrestling each other, and the guy kept trying to throw Thomas out of the way so he could reach inside for me. As they grappled with each other, Thomas’ foot hit the gun. It went sliding underneath the car.
Seatbelt. Seatbelt.
Panic rose up in me, but I needed to remain calm. I needed to help. Get that gun. That phrase repeated in my head. Get the gun. I reached for my seatbelt with stiff fingers, and I fumbled trying to release the latch. Finally my finger hit the button with enough force. The belt released, and I almost pitched forward off the seat.
Oh, Andrea. She slouched forward, her seatbelt holding her in place. And her arms lay beside her like noodles. Her head bobbed back and forth, moving with the motion of the car as it was jostled by the fight outside.
Carter. I needed Carter.
No, get it together, Emma! I yelled at myself in my head. Taking a shuddering breath, I felt fear climbing through my veins. My body started to shut down as more and more gunshots sounded outside. I wanted to curl up in a ball and close my eyes. Maybe everything would go away. But no. It wouldn’t.
“Come on, little girlie.”
The voice was high-pitched, with an evil twinge.
I huddled further in my bed. My mom was coming. I couldn’t hide. She was coming for me, not Andy. Andy was too small. She’d been hurt the day before, and she was still crying in her bed. It was my turn. I wanted to pull the blanket over me. I imagined it was a fortress. Once I was inside, no one could get through to me. I was safe.
My daydreams never helped me. The light outside my door changed to darkness with her shadow. She was right there. She was coming in.
“I know you’re in there, Ally. Come on, little girl.” She was trying to whisper, but she was giggling. The shadow weaved back and forth. “Honey, it’s your mommy. Do you want a bedtime story? We can act out the stories. How about that, Alley Cat?”
The doorknob started to turn.
I had locked it, and I waited, holding my breath. She was going to get mad. She always did. Then she’d have to teach me what was right and wrong. Locking Mom out of the room was the wrong thing to do.
I didn’t care. I kept locking it. She could keep hurting me, but… The doorknob stuck, and I heard her angry hiss from the other side of the door. Tears rolled down my face as I stared at the door. I couldn't run anywhere. She’d found me in the closet last time. She was even madder because of that.
“Ally!”
I almost screamed, but I turned to see AJ at the window. He motioned for me. “Come on. Open the window.”
If I did she’d be so mad.
If I didn’t… I climbed out of my bed and went to the window. Once it was open, I whispered, still crying, “She can’t find me, AJ. She can’t find me.”
A fierce determination flashed over his face. “She won’t. I promise, Alley Cat. Come on.”
I crawled up and held my arms out. AJ scooped me up, jumped down from the tree, and ran away. I wrapped my little arms around his neck and looked back. The light in my room turned on, and then I heard her screech, “Ally!”
I closed my eyes and pressed into AJ’s neck. I burrowed against him, trying to be as small as I could.
Right now the little girl in me wanted to hide. I shoved that person aside and crawled over my sister. I reached for the other door. The gun would be there. I knew it. But as I pulled on the handle, something wrenched me backward.
I found myself in the front seat, and a body clambered over me, pushing me down to the floor. I scratched and clawed at the person on top of me until I realized it was Thomas.
It was Thomas.
He shielded me as he shot at the person trying to come into the car.
Bang! Bang!
Two shots rang out. Then there was silence.
Thomas’ body went limp. His arms fell back onto the seat beside us.
Emma, flatten yourself.
It was like Carter was there. I could hear him telling me what to do.
Make yourself as little as possible. They’re coming in. Thomas is lying over you. They might not think you’re there. You need to be still.
I started trembling and closed my eyes. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight back. I wanted to run away. I wanted to find a gun and start shooting. But I didn’t. I listened to what I know Carter would’ve told me.
I needed to be calm. I needed to be rational.
I closed my eyes and lay there. Then I escaped. My mind left my body, that car, and whatever was going to happen. I remembered Carter. I remembered AJ. I remembered a good memory from when we were kids.
“Come on, Emma,” AJ called from the living room. “Movie night, and you’re on popcorn duty.”
A normal teenager would’ve grumbled. Not me. Movie night meant a full night with my brother and his best friend in the house. All night. They weren’t out doing whatever they did. They were safe. Carter was safe.
My body warmed. I was going to see Carter for the next few hours. A surge of adrenaline had me buzzing as I got off the bed, put my book away, and walked down the hall. I could hear them talking. They were laughing about something, some guy named Dunvan. AJ called him an idiot. Carter laughed, but not as much as my brother.
My knees were a little unsteady. I was always like this. AJ said it was puberty. It was because of Carter, though. Then I stood in the doorway to the kitchen. AJ had his arm up, making waving motions in the air. “I don’t need to worry about him. Dude, I’m primed for a win. Seriously. We should pool our money together. Dunvan’s all talk. He won’t do shit. You know that. He’s been threatening the same crap for years now.”
As my brother talked, Carter leaned against the counter. His eyes slid past AJ to me, and he grew somber.
