I nodded, then turned and left. When I carried Emma to the car, there were no guards. Most were dead. The few left alive, I had let go so they could return home, mourn their brothers. As I bundled her into the seat and walked around to the front to drive home, the solitude felt oddly comforting.
When I got her home, I didn’t expect to see anyone. Instead, Michael, Peter, and Drake met me. They weren’t in their suits, but had dressed in dark sweatshirts and jackets with jeans.
“I told you guys you could go home.”
Drake moved forward and motioned to take Emma from me. When I didn’t relinquish her, Michael spoke up. “He’ll just take her to the bedroom. That’s all.”
“I’ll tuck her into bed, boss.”
Reluctantly, I allowed him to take her. I wanted to go with them. I wanted to be the one to tuck her in, but they were right. I needed to remain behind. They deserved my time, and I raked a hand over my face. “Guys, I’m sorry—”
“You pay us,” Michael cut me off. “We’re not here because you’re our boss. We’re family, too. We follow you because we respect you.”
“We lost so many today.”
“Not Emma. Or you.”
Peter cleared his throat. He wasn’t as tall as Michael, but he was broader in the shoulders and thicker in muscle. “Our job is to protect both of you,” he said. “We know the consequences of our job, the risks that are part of it. We die to protect you.”
Drake returned and nodded. “I agree with them, boss.”
“They weren’t just our coworkers, they were our brothers,” Michael said. “We want to help you. Tell us what to do.”
“I need to know everything. I need to know their businesses here, their warehouses, any side deals they have, everything. I want to know their mistress’ information, the playgrounds for their children. I want to know every hiding spot they’re going to use.”
“Got it.” Drake and Peter nodded. I gave them instructions on what to do if they ran into trouble, and they left.
Michael remained behind, taking a position next to the door.
“Michael,” I said.
He looked at me.
“You’re not my bodyguard anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re a team now. This place is guarded. I have alarms set. If you’d like to sleep, go ahead.”
“But Emma.” He gestured toward the bedroom. “I figured you’d want to be with her.”
“I do, and I will be, but we take shifts now. Go and rest. I’ll stay awake for this shift.”
“Sir?” He still seemed confused.
“Go. Rest. It’s my turn. If anyone comes near the building, they’ll trip the alarms.”
“Drake and Peter?”
“They know the codes to get in. They’ll be fine.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, sir.”
“Michael,” I called again.
He turned.
“Move into one of the main bedrooms,” I told him. “We need to be in closer proximity now, and it’s not sir anymore. I’m Carter.”
Another nod. “Yes, si—Carter.” Then a corner of his mouth lifted in a smile before he headed to grab his stuff.
I checked all the locks, the codes, every inch of our home. Everything was secure. Emma was still sleeping, and I wanted to go to her, but safety was first. Grabbing a coat, I walked the perimeter of our building and checked all the alarms I’d set there as well. After that, I checked the next block over and repeated the same routine. I was thorough. Then I went back.
We were safe. No one knew of this location. Noah knew I had a place in New York, but he didn’t know of this place, and Emma had never been here. This was my safeguard for the war. Not even Cole knew about this place, or Gene. The Bartels would find us. I knew it was a matter of time, but when they did, they would have a fight on their hands. Until then, I'd take the fight to them.
Michael had taken the bedroom closest to the entrance doors. I checked in on him, and he was indeed sleeping. Good. He’d need it. Then I moved to my own bedroom.
Emma had curled up in the sheets. She had them tucked under her chin as she balled into the fetal position.
I stopped now, for a moment, and let the reality crash over me.
I almost lost her.
They almost got her.
My jaw hardened. Never again.
When I woke, I didn’t need time to remember. It had been plaguing me while I slept. They killed Thomas and took my sister. It was like Mallory all over again, but this time I knew my sister was in danger from the start. I had only realized the true danger of Ben when it was almost too late.
And Thomas…
I squeezed my eyes shut. Someone else was gone because of me. Someone who was a friend. Feeling the threat of tears, I bit down on my lip. I couldn’t feel it, not now so I rolled to my back. Carter was perched on the edge of the bed and watching me. He wore a black sweatshirt and black pants. His dark blond hair seemed darker, and I realized it was wet. As I sat up, I saw the concern in his wolf-like eyes. A shiver wound its way through me as I held his gaze. He must have known what had happened to me, what had happened to my sister. But there was no reason to go into hysterics. It was what it was.
Thomas was dead. My sister was gone.
I’d feel later. I welcomed the physical pain and I had plenty of that. My body was sore. It was still hurting from the bomb, and now it had new aches and pains from last night.
I didn’t care.
I needed Carter. I needed to remember we were alive. It was the two of us. I couldn’t lose him, no matter what happened.
I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him close.
“Emma?”
I shook my head. No words. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel the pain, not yet. I wanted to feel him. I wanted to feel love instead. I wanted to taste. I wanted to be alive. As if sensing my unspoken need, his eyes darkened, and he lifted me up to straddle him.
I closed my eyes and held the man I loved. Resting my forehead to his, I placed my arms on his shoulders as he held my hips. His thumbs rubbed back and forth. This. Right here. He was the most powerful man I knew, and he was all mine.
I had what so many women wanted. They were drawn to him because he was powerful and deadly. It wasn’t a mirage. He was dangerous, and that same shiver took hold of my spine and burrowed deep, melded with me at a cellular level. It was the good shiver, the delicious kind.
When I got her home, I didn’t expect to see anyone. Instead, Michael, Peter, and Drake met me. They weren’t in their suits, but had dressed in dark sweatshirts and jackets with jeans.
“I told you guys you could go home.”
Drake moved forward and motioned to take Emma from me. When I didn’t relinquish her, Michael spoke up. “He’ll just take her to the bedroom. That’s all.”
“I’ll tuck her into bed, boss.”
Reluctantly, I allowed him to take her. I wanted to go with them. I wanted to be the one to tuck her in, but they were right. I needed to remain behind. They deserved my time, and I raked a hand over my face. “Guys, I’m sorry—”
“You pay us,” Michael cut me off. “We’re not here because you’re our boss. We’re family, too. We follow you because we respect you.”
“We lost so many today.”
“Not Emma. Or you.”
Peter cleared his throat. He wasn’t as tall as Michael, but he was broader in the shoulders and thicker in muscle. “Our job is to protect both of you,” he said. “We know the consequences of our job, the risks that are part of it. We die to protect you.”
Drake returned and nodded. “I agree with them, boss.”
“They weren’t just our coworkers, they were our brothers,” Michael said. “We want to help you. Tell us what to do.”
“I need to know everything. I need to know their businesses here, their warehouses, any side deals they have, everything. I want to know their mistress’ information, the playgrounds for their children. I want to know every hiding spot they’re going to use.”
“Got it.” Drake and Peter nodded. I gave them instructions on what to do if they ran into trouble, and they left.
Michael remained behind, taking a position next to the door.
“Michael,” I said.
He looked at me.
“You’re not my bodyguard anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re a team now. This place is guarded. I have alarms set. If you’d like to sleep, go ahead.”
“But Emma.” He gestured toward the bedroom. “I figured you’d want to be with her.”
“I do, and I will be, but we take shifts now. Go and rest. I’ll stay awake for this shift.”
“Sir?” He still seemed confused.
“Go. Rest. It’s my turn. If anyone comes near the building, they’ll trip the alarms.”
“Drake and Peter?”
“They know the codes to get in. They’ll be fine.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, sir.”
“Michael,” I called again.
He turned.
“Move into one of the main bedrooms,” I told him. “We need to be in closer proximity now, and it’s not sir anymore. I’m Carter.”
Another nod. “Yes, si—Carter.” Then a corner of his mouth lifted in a smile before he headed to grab his stuff.
I checked all the locks, the codes, every inch of our home. Everything was secure. Emma was still sleeping, and I wanted to go to her, but safety was first. Grabbing a coat, I walked the perimeter of our building and checked all the alarms I’d set there as well. After that, I checked the next block over and repeated the same routine. I was thorough. Then I went back.
We were safe. No one knew of this location. Noah knew I had a place in New York, but he didn’t know of this place, and Emma had never been here. This was my safeguard for the war. Not even Cole knew about this place, or Gene. The Bartels would find us. I knew it was a matter of time, but when they did, they would have a fight on their hands. Until then, I'd take the fight to them.
Michael had taken the bedroom closest to the entrance doors. I checked in on him, and he was indeed sleeping. Good. He’d need it. Then I moved to my own bedroom.
Emma had curled up in the sheets. She had them tucked under her chin as she balled into the fetal position.
I stopped now, for a moment, and let the reality crash over me.
I almost lost her.
They almost got her.
My jaw hardened. Never again.
When I woke, I didn’t need time to remember. It had been plaguing me while I slept. They killed Thomas and took my sister. It was like Mallory all over again, but this time I knew my sister was in danger from the start. I had only realized the true danger of Ben when it was almost too late.
And Thomas…
I squeezed my eyes shut. Someone else was gone because of me. Someone who was a friend. Feeling the threat of tears, I bit down on my lip. I couldn’t feel it, not now so I rolled to my back. Carter was perched on the edge of the bed and watching me. He wore a black sweatshirt and black pants. His dark blond hair seemed darker, and I realized it was wet. As I sat up, I saw the concern in his wolf-like eyes. A shiver wound its way through me as I held his gaze. He must have known what had happened to me, what had happened to my sister. But there was no reason to go into hysterics. It was what it was.
Thomas was dead. My sister was gone.
I’d feel later. I welcomed the physical pain and I had plenty of that. My body was sore. It was still hurting from the bomb, and now it had new aches and pains from last night.
I didn’t care.
I needed Carter. I needed to remember we were alive. It was the two of us. I couldn’t lose him, no matter what happened.
I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him close.
“Emma?”
I shook my head. No words. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel the pain, not yet. I wanted to feel him. I wanted to feel love instead. I wanted to taste. I wanted to be alive. As if sensing my unspoken need, his eyes darkened, and he lifted me up to straddle him.
I closed my eyes and held the man I loved. Resting my forehead to his, I placed my arms on his shoulders as he held my hips. His thumbs rubbed back and forth. This. Right here. He was the most powerful man I knew, and he was all mine.
I had what so many women wanted. They were drawn to him because he was powerful and deadly. It wasn’t a mirage. He was dangerous, and that same shiver took hold of my spine and burrowed deep, melded with me at a cellular level. It was the good shiver, the delicious kind.
