“Do you know where they’re holding Andrea?”
He didn’t answer, and that was my answer in itself.
“Carter, I’m sorr—” he said.
I cut him off, shaking my head. “Don’t. I’ll keep looking.”
“If it’s any consolation, they’re not sure if it’s you or if it’s us. You haven’t left anyone alive to spread the word that the Cold Killer’s back.” He grinned.
I did not.
He sighed again. “Okay, yeah. I get it. I’ll make some moves on my end. I’ve no doubt that the Bartel elders are meeting every night. If we found one of their meetings, that’d help. They’d know where she’s being held. I’m sure of it.”
“You said she’s alive. How do you know?”
He barked out a short, harsh laugh. “Because they’re trying to ransom her to us. A new picture of her comes in the mail every other day. We’re trying to find out who’s delivering the pictures, but they come from all different angles. Different elders get them in their mailboxes. One was delivered to one of the kids in his backpack. His teacher found it and went into hysterics. We bought her silence. They haven’t demanded ransom yet, but I think they’re trying to scare you off through us.”
“Is she intact?”
“Yeah. She’s thin. It looks like they’re beating her, but she’s got all her parts.”
I didn’t ask what else they were doing to her. I couldn’t think about that. If they did that to her, they would’ve been doing that to Emma. My blood turned cold, just imagining. I forced my mind away. “So you have been helping me.”
“Yeah. I have. Or I’ve been trying. I’ll keep trying too, and I’m close to fortifying the elders. I promise. We’ll be much more effective once we’ve weeded out those who won’t support us. They might not turn on you, but they’ll turn on me.”
“I know.” He didn’t need to keep explaining. “Have the police been in touch with you?”
“Yes. You know that’s why I called.”
I nodded. “What are they asking?”
“They want you. They want to talk to Emma. They know she’s with you, but they don’t quite know why you’re gone. They don’t know about the killings yet. They’re still in the dark, and I think they’ve reached out to some of your colleagues, that other friend of yours. Everyone’s covering, saying they’ve talked to you and you’re busy. But, Carter, once they know the Bartels are losing people, they’re going to swoop in. They’ll come fast and hard.”
“I know.”
“They’re watching us, too. Every day we see a new cop following. It’s tense now. They know about the bombing. We covered everything up with the car attack, but they have to be wondering if a mob war is going on.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” I told him. And I would keep doing what I was doing. Nothing would get solved until I found Andrea, or—I couldn’t think about the alternative. After Emma’s breakdown, I don’t know if she could handle it.
“We will. I needed to know what you wanted me to do about the cops, but we’ll keep covering for you.”
“Thank you, Cole. And I’ll call you when I’m done with each spot.” I held my arm out, and he grasped it, linking our forearms. We held each other’s arms for a moment before letting go. We hadn’t done that since the early days of my training him, so long ago when he first went into hiding. I had started again with Michael, Peter, and Drake, and it felt good to have that stronghold back in my life once more.
“Are you okay? With…what you’re doing?” Cole asked.
No. It was cold out there. I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I have to find Emma’s sister.”
“And when you do or they—”
My eyes flashed in warning, and he heeded it, not saying the words I didn’t want to think about, not yet.
Revenge and rescue. Those had become my two missions over the last few weeks, but he was right. It was coming to an end. Either I would find Andrea, or they would kill her. I had to start thinking beyond what I was doing now. To me, the end was always with Emma and the Mauricio family, but now things were changing. I was tired of this life. I was tired of killing.
I needed out. Emma needed out.
“I don’t know.” That was all I said, for now.
I heard her in the gym as soon as I stepped inside. Michael was washing dishes. There was no greeting. He knew where I was going, and he pointed down the hallway, even though I didn’t need to be told. I dumped a bag of weapons that I’d picked up from my old place on the table and headed past him.
When I got to the gym doorway, I heard a small thump, thump as she hit the punching bag. Hunched over, her arms up next to her face, she looked fierce. But when her hand hit the bag, that ferocity left immediately. The bag didn’t move an inch.
“Are you using your whole body?” I asked.
“Yes, and my whole body is laughing at me.” Her hands fell to her sides as her shoulders slumped. “I survived a bomb and a potential kidnapping, but my body is weak, and I hate it. If my body’s going to be weak, fine, but I have to be sharp up here.” She lifted a taped hand to her head. “I broke down, Carter. I can’t do that again.”
“And you think hitting the bag will help you with that?”
“No, but sitting around doing a Sudoku puzzle will just put me back to sleep. I figure it’s the two birds with one stone thing.” She nodded to the bag again. “Thought it would help both my body and mind.”
“Emma,” I said as I stepped inside and shut the door. “You need to rest.”
She shot me a look. “You’re not resting.”
Because I couldn’t. Because there was no time. “Emma.”
“Stop.” She rolled her eyes and resumed the stance to punch again. Arms up. Feet apart. Shoulders back. “I’m useless right now, so let me do this. It makes me feel helpful, at least.”
“Emma, you have to rest. That will make your mind strong again.”
“No.” She closed her eyes and seemed in pain as she lifted her hands to press against her temples. “You don’t understand. I—fuck it. They took her, and I can’t—” Her face contorted. She looked in agony. “They took my sister because of me, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” Rearing back, she punched the bag in a savage motion. “My sister—because of this.” Her hand curled up and shot toward her face, like she was going to punch herself.
He didn’t answer, and that was my answer in itself.
“Carter, I’m sorr—” he said.
I cut him off, shaking my head. “Don’t. I’ll keep looking.”
“If it’s any consolation, they’re not sure if it’s you or if it’s us. You haven’t left anyone alive to spread the word that the Cold Killer’s back.” He grinned.
I did not.
He sighed again. “Okay, yeah. I get it. I’ll make some moves on my end. I’ve no doubt that the Bartel elders are meeting every night. If we found one of their meetings, that’d help. They’d know where she’s being held. I’m sure of it.”
“You said she’s alive. How do you know?”
He barked out a short, harsh laugh. “Because they’re trying to ransom her to us. A new picture of her comes in the mail every other day. We’re trying to find out who’s delivering the pictures, but they come from all different angles. Different elders get them in their mailboxes. One was delivered to one of the kids in his backpack. His teacher found it and went into hysterics. We bought her silence. They haven’t demanded ransom yet, but I think they’re trying to scare you off through us.”
“Is she intact?”
“Yeah. She’s thin. It looks like they’re beating her, but she’s got all her parts.”
I didn’t ask what else they were doing to her. I couldn’t think about that. If they did that to her, they would’ve been doing that to Emma. My blood turned cold, just imagining. I forced my mind away. “So you have been helping me.”
“Yeah. I have. Or I’ve been trying. I’ll keep trying too, and I’m close to fortifying the elders. I promise. We’ll be much more effective once we’ve weeded out those who won’t support us. They might not turn on you, but they’ll turn on me.”
“I know.” He didn’t need to keep explaining. “Have the police been in touch with you?”
“Yes. You know that’s why I called.”
I nodded. “What are they asking?”
“They want you. They want to talk to Emma. They know she’s with you, but they don’t quite know why you’re gone. They don’t know about the killings yet. They’re still in the dark, and I think they’ve reached out to some of your colleagues, that other friend of yours. Everyone’s covering, saying they’ve talked to you and you’re busy. But, Carter, once they know the Bartels are losing people, they’re going to swoop in. They’ll come fast and hard.”
“I know.”
“They’re watching us, too. Every day we see a new cop following. It’s tense now. They know about the bombing. We covered everything up with the car attack, but they have to be wondering if a mob war is going on.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” I told him. And I would keep doing what I was doing. Nothing would get solved until I found Andrea, or—I couldn’t think about the alternative. After Emma’s breakdown, I don’t know if she could handle it.
“We will. I needed to know what you wanted me to do about the cops, but we’ll keep covering for you.”
“Thank you, Cole. And I’ll call you when I’m done with each spot.” I held my arm out, and he grasped it, linking our forearms. We held each other’s arms for a moment before letting go. We hadn’t done that since the early days of my training him, so long ago when he first went into hiding. I had started again with Michael, Peter, and Drake, and it felt good to have that stronghold back in my life once more.
“Are you okay? With…what you’re doing?” Cole asked.
No. It was cold out there. I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I have to find Emma’s sister.”
“And when you do or they—”
My eyes flashed in warning, and he heeded it, not saying the words I didn’t want to think about, not yet.
Revenge and rescue. Those had become my two missions over the last few weeks, but he was right. It was coming to an end. Either I would find Andrea, or they would kill her. I had to start thinking beyond what I was doing now. To me, the end was always with Emma and the Mauricio family, but now things were changing. I was tired of this life. I was tired of killing.
I needed out. Emma needed out.
“I don’t know.” That was all I said, for now.
I heard her in the gym as soon as I stepped inside. Michael was washing dishes. There was no greeting. He knew where I was going, and he pointed down the hallway, even though I didn’t need to be told. I dumped a bag of weapons that I’d picked up from my old place on the table and headed past him.
When I got to the gym doorway, I heard a small thump, thump as she hit the punching bag. Hunched over, her arms up next to her face, she looked fierce. But when her hand hit the bag, that ferocity left immediately. The bag didn’t move an inch.
“Are you using your whole body?” I asked.
“Yes, and my whole body is laughing at me.” Her hands fell to her sides as her shoulders slumped. “I survived a bomb and a potential kidnapping, but my body is weak, and I hate it. If my body’s going to be weak, fine, but I have to be sharp up here.” She lifted a taped hand to her head. “I broke down, Carter. I can’t do that again.”
“And you think hitting the bag will help you with that?”
“No, but sitting around doing a Sudoku puzzle will just put me back to sleep. I figure it’s the two birds with one stone thing.” She nodded to the bag again. “Thought it would help both my body and mind.”
“Emma,” I said as I stepped inside and shut the door. “You need to rest.”
She shot me a look. “You’re not resting.”
Because I couldn’t. Because there was no time. “Emma.”
“Stop.” She rolled her eyes and resumed the stance to punch again. Arms up. Feet apart. Shoulders back. “I’m useless right now, so let me do this. It makes me feel helpful, at least.”
“Emma, you have to rest. That will make your mind strong again.”
“No.” She closed her eyes and seemed in pain as she lifted her hands to press against her temples. “You don’t understand. I—fuck it. They took her, and I can’t—” Her face contorted. She looked in agony. “They took my sister because of me, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” Rearing back, she punched the bag in a savage motion. “My sister—because of this.” Her hand curled up and shot toward her face, like she was going to punch herself.
